While Scott and I have fallen more into stereotypical "gender roles" than ever before, he and I both know I am more than capable of dealing with things on my own. He left yesterday without the slightest bit of worry that I wouldn't know what to do if something went wrong, and he knows full well that I am capable of being on the boat without him. Despite his unwavering confidence in me, doubt creeps into my mind. Scott is the one who fixes all the boat-y issues. He's the one that makes sure our dinghy is secure, our gasoline is topped off and the hatches are battened down if a storm is brewing. He is the one who downloads the GRIB files, checks the weather and fixes any of the squeaks that creep up in the night. He sets the anchor alarm, checks lines for chafe and maintains our engines. Don't get me wrong, I am totally capable of doing any and all of the above, but because he's the one taking the initiative these days, I've let him do it. I mean, we have a one year old, my hands are anything but idle. Excuses aside, it's a dangerous habit to fall into. I've grown lazy and there is no room for laziness or complacency in this life.
So here I am out of my comfort zone (and yet in my comfort zone), but it's a good thing. It's forcing me to do the things that I have sat back and let Scott do, just because. Now I'm the one making sure our water stays topped off, I'm the one running our generator to charge our batteries and positioning our boom so that we get optimal sun on our solar panels. I'm the one driving our dinghy to and from shore (with a baby in tow), I'm the one who dove our mooring to make sure it's okay and I will be the one to clear the deck and make sure we're well prepped for the 30-40 knot squalls expected tomorrow night. If something goes wrong, it will be up to me to figure out a solution for it. None of these things are momentous, but the fact remains: it's all up to me. While it's not single-handing or rounding the 'Horn, it's an empowering place to be.
Move out of your comfort zone.
You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy