Thursday, April 04, 2013

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

It's Isla and me now. We're on the boat, just the two of us, floating on a mooring.  I'm not going to lie - I'm not entirely comfortable with this arrangement.  I'd much rather have Scott here with us.  My mind tends to err on the "worrier" side of things, and I have a litany of "what if's" that float through my brain at fairly regular intervals: what if Isla gets sick...what if the refrigerator stops working...what if our toilet starts to leak...what if I get lonely...what if our mooring breaks loose... you get the idea.  I've grown accustomed to being part of a team in both boating and parenting.  While Scott and I work together on most issues, the truth is that these days he's doing most of the boat related stuff and I am doing most of the baby related stuff.  It's just how it is.  We both venture into the others' areas pretty regularly, but the fact remains: we have our "domains".  The idea of doing all of this on my own - baby and boat - is a little...daunting.

While Scott and I have fallen more into stereotypical "gender roles" than ever before, he and I both know I am more than capable of dealing with things on my own.  He left yesterday without the slightest bit of worry that I wouldn't know what to do if something went wrong, and he knows full well that I am capable of being on the boat without him.  Despite his unwavering confidence in me, doubt creeps into my mind.  Scott is the one who fixes all the boat-y issues.  He's the one that makes sure our dinghy is secure, our gasoline is topped off and the hatches are battened down if a storm is brewing.  He is the one who downloads the GRIB files, checks the weather and fixes any of the squeaks that creep up in the night.  He sets the anchor alarm, checks lines for chafe and maintains our engines.  Don't get me wrong, I am totally capable of doing any and all of the above, but because he's the one taking the initiative these days, I've let him do it.  I mean, we have a one year old, my hands are anything but idle.  Excuses aside,  it's a dangerous habit to fall into.  I've grown lazy and there is no room for laziness or complacency in this life.

So here I am out of my comfort zone (and yet in my comfort zone), but it's a good thing.  It's forcing me to do the things that I have sat back and let Scott do, just because.  Now I'm the one making sure our water stays topped off, I'm the one running our generator to charge our batteries and positioning our boom so that we get optimal sun on our solar panels.  I'm the one driving our dinghy to and from shore (with a baby in tow), I'm the one who dove our mooring to make sure it's okay and I will be the one to clear the deck and make sure we're well prepped for the 30-40 knot squalls expected tomorrow night.  If something goes wrong, it will be up to me to figure out a solution for it.  None of these things are momentous, but the fact remains: it's all up to me.  While it's not single-handing or rounding the 'Horn, it's an empowering place to be.

Move out of your comfort zone. 
You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy


Carolyn Shearlock - The Boat Galley said...

Love it!!

Three I had to manage our boat by myself while Dave was away and felt exactly the same way. Sort of fun to prove to yourself that you really are competent when it comes to this boat stuff!! :)

Kianda Crew said...

Exactly a year ago, I was (I believe) in the same mooring field as you waiting for my man too. We had taken a year off to cruise and my boyfriend's father got sick so he flew back to Canada for three weeks to be there for his family. So I stayed behind with the boat. Hanging out. Waiting. At first I worried about all the possible things that could go wrong with the boat but I soon realized things were fine and they'd stay that way as long as I kept up the daily routine of checking on things. That's all you can do! And anyway, I think when a boat is just bobbing there on a mooring, not being used or stressed, things are much less prone to degrade. All this to tell you I'm sure you'll be fine. The loneliness is probably the worst part, but you've got your little sidekick. Keep up the daily routine and time will just pass along and he'll be back soon.
Jessica (S/V Kianda)

Ron Duren Jr said...

Hang in there girl! :)

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