Monday, June 24, 2013

Cruising: The Ultimate Life...or...Lie

“Tell your blog followers that this is all a lie.” Scott was pissed. “Everything is a lie. This life is not awesome, it’s a total pain in the ass, everything breaks, we hardly get to sail, islands are all the same and I hate it.”  He continued to mutter angrily to himself as he fought our swinging dinghy that was not hanging properly on the davits despite a lot of effort and engineering from Scott earlier that morning.  The white capped seas were huge and confused, the wind was blowing over 20 knots and our boat was being tossed around like a toy.  I was feeling nauseous, Isla was seasick and the overall vibe on the boat was utterly unpleasant.  Scott can be less enthused with the cruising life than I from time to time (understandable as he's the one that does most of the boat work these days now that I am on baby duty), and this was most certainly a low point for him.

We were on our passage from St. Maarten to Ile Fourche.  Scott and I hadn’t been getting along due to communication issues, and as if a passive aggressive shuffle around our boat wasn’t enough to kill the mood, this trip was the icing on the cake. “I’m done.”  He continued. “We’re hauling the boat…I’m finished with this.  Cruising sucks.  I’d rather just have a Laser, sail on a lake by myself and be done with all this. Enjoy these last few weeks, because this is it for me.  I’m out.”  He was not joking.  I might have tried to cheer him up, told him to “look on the bright side” and remind him of all the wonderful aspects of cruising, not to mention the fact that he wasn’t entirely thrilled with his life ashore either, but this would have been pointless.  There was no stopping this rant.  Best to just nod my head and let him run with it.  I sat silent, cradling a seasick baby.  Miserable.  All three of us were miserable.

Five hours later we picked up a mooring ball in Ile Fourche, a tiny uninhabited little island off the coast of St. Barths.  Suddenly, the boat was still, the breeze gentle, and the sun danced brightly on the water.  Peace.  Everything was right in the world again.  The horrendous passage we just endured felt a million miles away, like it happened in another time, another place.  Such is the dichotomous nature of cruising; one minute your cursing life the next you wonder how you got so lucky.  Our friends on s/v Yolo came over for dinner and it was unanimous: the passage sucked. “But” Luuck continued with a smile, “anchoring some place like this makes it all worth it.” Luuck is definitely the kind of guy who looks on the bright side which is a quality I admire, and one that you should possess if you plan to live on a cruising boat at sea.  Because – honestly – things can get really rough on a boat, both literally and metaphorically.  Being able to keep your chin up should be a prerequisite; if you are prone to depression or tend to see the glass as half-empty, this might not be the life for you.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; cruising is punctuated by high highs and low lows.  Rare are the days in the middle, at least that is our experience.

The next day we dropped our mooring and set sail for St. Kitts, a nine hour trip away.  This time, however, the seas were more manageable, the wind was at our beam and we sailed – strictly sailed – 90% of the day.  Scott was in his element.  The boat was quiet save for the rush of the water against the hull and the sing-song creaks of a boat at sea.  The conditions were mild and our boat gently rode the rhythmic waves – up, over and down, up, over and down - like a galloping horse.  The bellies of our sails were full of a fresh wind and trimmed to perform, and we charged forth at over six knots.  It was a pretty perfect day – one that you couldn’t help but appreciate. “Well,"  Scott suddenly piped up out of nowhere while gazing forward to our lush, hilly destination, "maybe we can cruise a little longer.”  He sat there pensively, taking it all in, no stranger to the fact that this type of day was exactly what he signed up for. I had to laugh – because out here, moods change like - and with - the wind.  We take it one day at a time.

17 comments:

Erick said...

Great, honest post. I appreciate these ones the most :)

Turf to Surf said...

I TOTALLY identify. We've had a fair few of those moments before hitting the D.R. Which is why we stuck around the D.R. for a while... we needed a land break and little time to love and miss cruising. We realized we need a break from the breaking boat sometimes. Maybe you should find an island you love and just hang out for a while?

Now we're on a different tack, literally... about to ocean race. I'm sure when we're done with that, we'll be DONE with that, too, and ready to cruise again.

It ebbs and flows, doesn't it? But that's okay. I hate the lows, but then they make me really appreciate the highs. Glad you found happiness again. xx

Tasha

Troy and Deana Jones said...

This post had me smiling to myself and remembering a particularly unpleasant beat in Sir Francis Drake Channel. Troy was sounding just like Scott. The only thing that turned the situation around was a perfect anchorage in beautiful North Sound.

Drena said...

Thanks for posting this. I very much appreciate your honesty :)

Tillerman said...

"Cruising sucks. I’d rather just have a Laser, sail on a lake by myself and be done with all this."

As a Laser sailor (who sails on lakes and bays) this line made me laugh. So glad Scott snapped out of this feeling eventually.

Truth is that any life style can pall occasionally. Most of the time I feel that my land-based life with lots of Laser sailing and time with grandkids is perfect for me. But then sometimes I lose the sailing bug and don't do any for weeks.

Thanks for your honesty.

Maria said...

Thank you for sharing this post, Brittany. My husband and I are getting ready for our own short cruise, and I know our moods will ebb and flow. Your real life example is a great reassurance to me!

More Joy Everywhere said...

Keepin' it real, Brittany - you go, girlfriend. I've collected eight links already for my "Cruising Sucks" post on The Monkey's Fist - this is a PERFECT addition! - and from the QUEEN of the Happy Bloggers, so TOTAL bonus. xxoo

Karen said...

This is a great post. Thank you. We just finally got our boat in the water (after months on the hard prepping for live-aboard) and sailed it to our home port yesterday. In just that short sail, we had both high and low moments. Your post is so true...adventures are never easy, but the wonderful moments, and sense of accomplishment, make it worthwhile!

Rachel said...

I am so glad you posted this. Glossing over the bad days heinously misrepresents cruising. We all have days like this.
Scott - I was so happy to hear that you are interested in some diversity in your life experiences! That is definitely what brought Lee and me to land. If you want to sail - then sail more!!
Don't burn yourselves out!

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

Gotta experience the downs to fully appreciate the ups!

George said...

That's funny. Yesterday, during an unusually challenging day sail, I was thinking of you and your family and your blog and guessing that you sometimes had the exact same sentiments that you just wrote about.

Thanks for write about the entire spectrum.

BTW--I loved Ile Fourche, what a nice little anchorage!

Pat and Joan said...

Thanks for not glossing it over. As we wait to cast off we tend to romanticize the cruising life so this is a great gut check. Remind Scott that lake sailing isn't all it is cracked up to be. We had gust to 31 Knots Saturday, definitely out of the wind range of the Laser.

Wakey said...

It's just life no matter what, where or when. We have a horse farm and if we charged a few dollars from all the people that park at the foot of our driveway, to admire our farm, to wish they were us, this might be a profitable pursuit!

I'm pretty even keeled (I SAID IT!)so I don't sweat much stuff, but I really appreciate this post after the "week" we just had.

I'm glad things turned for the better!

Tracy

Dean and Katie said...

Excellent post Brittany my girl!! Excellent!! I know we will have those days in the future out there as well!! It's 'life'...whether on a boat or on land. Glad you are all safe and that there are more Happy Faces than Sad Faces!! Hugs~ Katie

Amanda said...

Ha! The "not sailing" thing is definitely a drag...I have likened it more than once to driving a tractor across the ocean. I don't know if we'll ever cruise again, but I can tell you I do miss the feeling of swaying slightly at anchor, with quiet and beauty all around and a rum and pineapple in my glass. Best wished to you all!!!

The Boyer Family said...

I couldn't agree more and as a fellow blogger, I tend to stick to the happy stuff. I love that you said it so honestly! My only addition is that when you cruise with kids, it only adds to highest of highs and the lowest of lows!

Carl Lambert said...

I wish the blogging software provided you with a little widget that readers could use to rank each blog post. This one would get, from me, a ten on a scale of one to ten. In fact, many of your posts would achieve that rating, IMO.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...