Friday, February 28, 2014

Letter to our First Born Before She Becomes A Big Sister

To my sweet baby Isla,

You are on the verge of becoming a big sister, and I am on the verge of becoming a mom of three.  It's hard to believe considering it feels like yesterday I was bringing you into this world, and yet here we are, almost two years later...  You are wise beyond your years and your daddy and I have been working very hard to prepare you for what lays ahead, though we hardly know ourselves.  You are definitely aware that something big is about to happen and that the "something" involves two more babies, but I don't think any toddler can truly grasp new life.  Way back when we first discovered we were blessed with two more babies, we gave you your very own twin dollies to love and play with and, well, if you treat your sisters with the same adoration and care as you do those little babes - we are going to be okay.

Even still, your little world is about to be rocked.  I want to write you this letter to let you know, before your sisters arrive, how very much I love you and how much you mean to me, even though words could never, ever do my feelings for you justice.  Until now, you have been our only child and soon - very soon - you will be sharing the spotlight with two others.  For the past two years, you and only you have been the bright and shiny epicenter of mine and your father's Universe and you I have never spent more than a few hours away from each other.  Our bond is exceptional and despite this intense togetherness, you are fiercely independent, blithely confident and have no issue whatsoever about leaving my side.  I love that about you.  I, on the other hand, get teary eyed simply thinking of being in the hospital, away from you for a couple days, not being able to tuck you in at night or greet your beautiful face in the morning.  But you have proven your incredible ability to adapt to just about anything thrown your way and I know that this transition into big sisterhood will be no different.  You never cease to amaze us.

The past twenty three months with you have been an absolute joy.  You are an absolute JOY.  If I had only one word to describe you it would be that.  You bring your daddy and I so much happiness and watching you grow into the sweet, kind, and amazing little person you have become has been, by far, the most incredible journey of our lives.  I want you to know how special you are because these next couple months you might feel like you have been replaced, you might feel a little confused.  I want you to know that you could NEVER be replaced and that your daddy and I are going to try very hard to make sure you never feel sidelined.  You will always be our first born.  You will always be the one who made me a mommy and you will always be the baby who stole our hearts before any other. You will always be our Isla.  Our extreme love for you will never, ever waver.  Ever.

Each morning when you wake up, I bring you into my bed and we snuggle and chat.  It is my favorite part of every day.  You ask me to sing you your favorite songs as you cuddle up against me and I do.  You love the "Isla song" (the lullaby I made up for you) and "Paris" ("He Went to Paris", by Jimmy Buffett)...and of course the old standby's "Eensy Weensy" and "Wheels on the Bus" are big hits too.  We sing, we chat, you smother me with kisses, we talk about dreams and birds and planes and horses.  Whatever is on that incredible, brilliant little mind of yours.  You cradle your babies as I cradle you.  We giggle and laugh.  I treasure these moments and cling to them because I know all to well they are fleeting.  Time is flying by.  I want to always remember them just as they are, precious moments filled with wonder and love.  I want to freeze these vignettes in time forever.

There are some big changes on the horizon for all of us.  But you, your daddy and I have proven to be quite the team.  We can do anything.  I know in my heart of hearts that together we're going to be awesome as we greet your sisters into our lives and grow from three to five.  I am so excited to see you become a big sister and I know for certain you are going to be incredible.  I am so, so proud of you.

Remember, this is all about love.  More love than we ever imagined is going to come into our family (though it hardly seems possible that there is room for more love in my heart, fellow mamas assure me there is).  Our hearts actually can grow, which is something that I've learned (and continue to learn) from you.  They can never be too full.  The human capacity for love is pretty incredible.

Whatever the future will bring - as crazy as it might be sometimes - it will bring with it love.  Of this I am certain.

I love you so much Isla, more than you could ever possibly know.  You are very, very special to me. You are my heart, my love, my sunshine, my first born...

Forever and always.


I want to thank our wonderful blog follower turned friend, Carol M., for the wonderful suggestion to write Isla this letter.  Thank you Carol, as always, for thinking of us like your very own family. xoxo 


Unknown said...

What an awesome gift for Isla to cherish forever - great idea! Thanks for sharing the adventures your sweet family!

Anonymous said...

I didn't get past the first sentence and I was in tears. Isla is such a special girl because you are a special momma. It truly is a blessing when your first born is a happy wee soul. Isla is that.. I would say that she is an old soul. Thank you for sharing your private message to her with the rest of ud. It humbles me that you trust in all of us. We are a family of people who have grown to love you and your family as our own and we rejoice in what the future brings for all of you. Thanks for sharing and trusting us. Blessings as we all wait for the wonderful news that the world has 2 more precious kiddies here to love. Colleen Charlton

Carol Florida U.S.A. said...

It was tears for me, too, Brittany!! It's beautiful . . . . absolutely beautiful! Couldn't be more perfect!! And, whenever Isla gets to read it . . . . probably sometime when she can fully appreciate how special your letter is, I'm sure that it will make her feel the love, and the the tug at your heart that that precious alone time with her will be over, for a little while, at least, but I'm sure you and Scott will find other ways to give her some "Big Sister Appreciation Time"!!! She's going to be a wonderful Big Sister, just as she has taken so seriously all her observing and learning on Asante!! A remarkable child, and we're sooo happy to have had this time to get to know her and her adorable personality!! I never dreamed we'd get to read what you wrote, Brittany, but it is now a treasure for the rest of us as well!! Thank you for this wonderful surprise!! Love, Carol xox

Anonymous said...

Beyond sweet, such a wonderful idea.

Chad said...

Nothing like making a full grown man cry. Both for the love you show your daughter, but also for the feelings I have for my 9 year old daughter as well.

Jennifer Sara said...

I just wanted to say thanks for you blog! I stumbled on it looking for info about carriers.... and specifically wearing twins. When I realized that your situation as so much like mine, I started looking around at your other posts.

I am pregnant with twin girls (26 weeks) and we have a little boy who won't quite be two when they are born. I have written him a letter very much like yours, and felt that same sadness about his being displaced when the girls are born... and also similar thoughts about "how could there be more love than this!?" while trying to take other moms at their word that the love will just grow.

I also read your "what not to say" to moms of twins. When we told one guy the news, he offered my husband a gun, implying that he might want to kill himself. He was joking, of course, but really!?

Anyways, I have just appreciated feeling somewhat understood by your posts. So thanks for that!

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