Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year: The Joy is in The Journey

I wish I had the time for a really well thought out blog post. I wish I could post an awesome "Year in Review" video like I did last year, or come up with some great way to share a solid re-cap of all the stuff that went on this past year.  But I am showing up here with nothing prepared. I just put all the kids down for a nap and realized that it's New Year's Eve and I don't think I should let 2014 go down without a few words. It was, after all, one of the most life-altering years of my life.

Then again, aren't they all? At least in one way or another?

The truth is, this year went by in a blur. A total fog of newborn twin-ness. I always joke that if I set up a GoPro camera in our home and played it back on high-speed, you would see me bouncing back and forth all over the place like a ping-pong ball. Picking up babies, chasing babies, feeding babies, playing with babies, cleaning up after babies and basically running a veritable marathon between the halls of this house. It's been busy, and we all know that when we are busy, time just flies on by. Whoosh.

This year has taught me so much. SO much. I don't have the time to adequately ruminate on the countless ways this year - and primarily the twins - have rocked me to my core, but they have, and in the most profound ways. Haven and Mira are proving to be my greatest teachers. First of all, they have taught me that the heart does in fact grow bigger, even though no parent can ever imagine loving subsequent children as much as their first. They have taught me the beauty of genetics and how two people can create three incredibly different and distinct individuals. They have taught me that, no matter how hard I try to control things, sometimes I have to go with the flow even though this can be very hard for me to do. "If you don't bend, you break," Scott gently reminded me one morning when I was starting to get agitated that things weren't going *precisely* to plan. As much as I hate to admit it, "going with the flow" goes against my nature. I can play the part for a while, but ultimately I like to be in the driver's seat of my life and - well - the twins have taught me that sometimes, we're not in the driver's seat, we're just along for the ride.

And what a ride it has been.

"The joy is in the journey." This phrase hangs dead center in Mira and Haven's room and it's a mantra I have found myself repeating in a "serenity now" sort of way.

I have not been the best "me" this year. Unrivaled sleep deprivation, plus a colicky infant, twins and a very willful two year old, mixed in with a hefty dose of uncertainty about life has, at times, brought out my ugliest side. I learned a lot of not so great truths about myself when push came to shove and I discovered that I have some serious mental housekeeping to do. My patience was put to the test on a daily basis and many times I did not rise to the occasion. On multiple occasions I failed as a daughter, friend, sister, wife and mother and I do not cope well with failure.

But, like everything in life, there is a yin to this yang, and that "yin" is the people who surround me. I am beyond blessed with an incredible network of people who counterbalanced my failures and irascibility with an incredible amount of love and support. My amazing parents, my beautiful friends and my incredible husband were all so instrumental to me (and my sanity) this year, I cannot even begin to tell you. They were strong when I was weak, kind when I was cruel, giving when I was selfish and each of them let my roller coaster of emotions and twin-induced hormones run their course. They laughed with me, cried with me and picked me up over and over. They had my back in a million ways, large and small, and I cannot thank them enough for it. To have people like that in your corner...well, that's when you have won a sort of lottery in life, I think.

And then there are the babies. Our amazing, incredible, beautiful, awesome babies. There are not enough words to describe how blessed and thankful I am that we have three happy, healthy children - they are seriously joy personified and I have no idea how we got so lucky. As challenging as this year was, it has also brought me more happiness than I could have ever imagined. Funny how life has a way of calibrating like that. Sometimes I lay awake at night just thanking the Universe over and over and over for what we have been given. Even though I don't know how I could possibly be more grateful, it never, ever feels like enough.

2014 has been a year of big changes but mostly, this year has been about love. Life-changing, course-altering, soul-shaking, heart-bursting LOVE. I can only hope that 2015 - and every year after - follows suit. I am beyond grateful. Asante sana, Universe.

Thank you all so very much for following along on this crazy, crazy ride. Happy New Year to you all.

LOVE.

7 comments:

Aline said...

Happy New Year to you all! You brought tears to my eyes, Brittany. Beautiful post on what really deserves reflection in turning the page on a brand new year - the wonderful souls whom we love and incredibly love us back. Wishing you happiness and health and sleeping babies lulled by a gently rocking boat in 2015. Thanks for sharing your incredible life

Phyllis Pardee said...

Just can't imagine what more you would have written in a "well thought out blogpost". This post was honest, heartfelt and appreciative of your life and your support system. loved it!! Happy New Year!!

Anonymous said...

Everything spilled out perfectly onto the page. I am no sailor but after stumbling onto Windtraveler, you are right up there with my favorite bloggers because, unlike so many of us, you are living an Authentic Life (tm, lol, I know it sounds dramatic but it's true). Happy New Year to you and all your family, Brittany. Wishing you health and joy and just enough craziness to keep it interesting.
~ Patricia Plunkett

Josh said...

Broken link. Here's the updated one:

http://www.sailfeed.com/2012/07/how-to-name-a-boat/

Lisa Hanneman said...

LOVE is right, girl. You guys are going to tell 2015 who is boss... And then the girls will tell you who is REALLY boss. xo

Jocelyn Rahm said...

Thank you for sharing with such transparency. I have 8 week old boy/girl twins and finding your blog has been a wonderful, much needed discovery. I've read everything you've written about your twin journey and even though I'm just getting started, it all resonates so deeply. I thought I was the only one that resorted to letting the babies sleep on me at night in order to get what little sleep I can muster. I have a love/hate relationship with my twin fort - mostly hate. :) How the hell do you transition them off btw?? This particular post made me tear up because you spoke to just how earth shatteringly hard it is. How acutely dualistic and inherently transformative it is. Thank you for being out there. I have a million questions for you but will refrain from bombarding you as I know what you have on your plate. Be well my dear.

An Binh said...

Canh chua cá lóc là món ăn từ lâu đã quen thuộc với người dân Việt Nam đặc biệt là ở vùng miền tây Nam Bộ, buổi trưa hè nắng nóng mà được ăn tô canh chua cá lóc, kèm với món cá lóc kho tộ thì mọi cảm giác mệt mỏi sẽ bay biến mất. Bep 247 sẽ hướng dẫn các bạn canh chua cá lóc thơm ngon hơn để bữa ăn gia đình thêm phong phú, hấp dẫn và giúp các thành viên trong gia đình đánh bay cái nắng nóng, mệt mỏi ngày hè nhé. Và một hương vị chua cay thơm ngon không kém gì món canh chua cá lóc đấy là món lẩu thái. Vào những buổi liên hoan tụ tập bạn bè hay những ngày trời se lạnh thì lẩu chính là sự lựa chọn số 1 và tuyệt vời nhất phải không nào. Nhắc đến Lẩu chắc hẳn là món quen thuộc ai cũng đã từng thưởng thức, lẩu là món dễ ăn và được nhiều người yêu thích nhất là lẩu Thái.
Lẩu thái mang một hương vị khác biệt không lẫn với bất kỳ món lẩu nào khác bởi vị nước lẩu chua chua cay cay, với hương thơm của riềng, xả nhúng kèm với các loại rau và hải sản tươi sống.
cách nấu lẩu thái cũng không khó hay cầu kì và các chị em nội trợ nào cũng có thể nấu ngon, hãy xuống bếp để trổ tài với món lẩu thái hải sản nào.

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