Wednesday, November 28, 2012

On Goodbyes and Marital Bliss

Scott left today for a six week rotation to captain the beautiful tall ship, s/v Diamant.  Thankfully, my mom is here with me which takes a little bit of the sting out sudden loneliness. Even still, the boat does not feel the same without him.  I miss having him here next to me, tinkering away at some thing or another... I miss feeling his presence and hearing his voice coo to little Isla.   I'm not going to lie, two strong personalities living together on a boat isn't always the recipe for marital bliss and movie style romance (though it might seem that way).  I have probably threatened divorce once a week during this refit, but the threat is always empty and the anger short lived.  The stress and tension ignite like a flame to gas and temper out just as quickly.  They say the line between love and hate is thin; cram that love into a living space about the size of a two car garage undergoing a refit and it can grow even thinner.  Sorry, but it's true.  Living on a boat is not always blissfully magical.  Only some of the time.

So, yeah.  Despite the fact that we've had our "moments" (which we always laugh about in hindsight) we are deeply in love and when he leaves, my heart always breaks a teeny tiny bit.  It doesn't get any easier and saying goodbye always leaves a pit in my tummy and a lump in my throat.  I love living in our (relatively) cramped space with him, I love sharing our dreams and imagining the next few years of our lives together.  I love the highs and, yes, I even respect the lows.  I think some of the most valuable lessons that we can learn about ourselves and others are found in these extremes.  So, while I really hate the fact that Scott and I have to be apart, I accept this as an opportunity for growth.  I've got work to do, projects to complete and an amazing baby girl to keep me busy!
Lucky for me we are able to Skype weekly and text message almost daily.  If not for those two modern marvels, I believe I'd go mad!  Isla and I have some trips planned over the next four weeks as well: we're going back to Chicago for a visit, and we head back over to Anna Maria Island to spend Christmas with family so here's hoping these next six weeks fly by.  Then, it's goodbye Florida, hello Bahamas and beyond!


Scott , Michelle Jesse, & Jib said...

I soooo appreciate your sentiments. I love my husband to the moon & back but sometimes ...especially when you live on (in our case) 38 ft gets very cramped. He makes me crazy....but I miss him so when we are not together. Stay strong girl. XO

Scott , Michelle Jesse, & Jib said...

Love, Scott Michelle voyage

Ron Duren Jr said...

well said...always enjoy your are wise beyond your years! :)

Unknown said...

Really relate to this post right now...due to financial commitments, I'm having to live the other side of the world to my other half: Me in the UK - him in Australia. I miss having his presence on our old ship, knowing he's working on something whilst I potter on with another.

Great post!

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

I feel your pain. I did 6 years of a long distance relationship (I in NYC and my husband in BA). I literally felt my heart breaking when I had to say goodbye. I hope your time apart passes quickly.

Red Charlotte said...

I'm right there with you mama!! And thank god for texting and skype. Hang in there. Glad your mom is there to help.

Windtraveler said...

Thanks for the comments all, glad you can relate!
@Scott, Michelle & co - yes, cramped and crazy and wild and beautiful about sums up our lives!
@Thank you Ron
@Dusty - sorry to hear that :( but I know how you feel, it is hard....but absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
@Andi - SIX years?!?! Holy cow!! That must have been rough...long distance is really tough. And yes, it is like you can actually *feel* your heart break...or ache.
@Charlotte - I know - it must be DOUBLE hard for your because you're so preggo! But yes, thank GOD for texting and skype - it really helps close the distance a little. You hang in there too and take good care of yourself! xo

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