Indecision and The Question that Drove it Away: How I Made up my Mind to Sail South

If action is the basis for success, indecision is the birthplace of failure. And dear god, have I been indecisive this last month...To be fair, I have always considered myself a pretty resolute person; I typically know what I want and go for it. I follow my gut - which usually leads me in the right, or at the very least, an interesting, direction - and I've never been one to hem and haw and change my mind, which is why this past month has been...well...driving me batty.

***

Ever since our last boat and most of all our worldly possessions were taken by Hurricane Irma last summer, we knew that our next boat would not be left in the path of harm (aka: hurricane alley, which is where we happen to live). The storms of last season took away a whole lot from a whole lot of people, but one good thing they swept away in their wake: complacency. No one wants to be caught with their pants down this year (and probably for the next few following) and neither do we. So our plan: sail ourselves south for the peak hurricane months of August and September and haul our boat in Grenada, where storms are "statistically" less likely to strike (knocks on wood). This way, we can enjoy time back with friends and family with relatively little stress (watching hurricane Irma on her death march to our home was pure agony) and our boat will not be a sitting duck in the water. For months this has been our plan; re-visit our former island-hopping cruising days for a short while. The girls are older, they are all great swimmers, and our boat - a Hallberg Rassy 46 - is a legitimate thoroughbred on the water. She loves to sail. This was our plan since we returned in January and I was all about it.

Until the time to leave grew closer and indecision set up shop in my brain.

My first guest was doubt... I turned over a million scenarios in my head and came up with as many excuses why sailing south wasn't really a good idea: "Is our boat really ready?" "Are the girls really ready?" "Would it cut too much into our time back home with friends and family?" "What if the twins get sick and don't sleep well?" "We really need more fans...." "Our dinghy leaks air..." "We don't have solar power or a water maker, we should have those to cruise..." "What if we get into shit weather and I have to help Scott, what will the girls do?" and (shameful to admit) "What will I do without regular wifi!?"  these questions, along with a myriad of others plagued me day and night and opened the door for indecision. Do we stay or do we go? Ultimately (hindsight being the best magnifier) - it was fear that caused me to make the "chicken out" decision to flying home from here - though I didn't think it at the time. I had made up my mind, we were opting out of the sail.

But for some reason the decision was not sitting right.

If I was honest, it did feel very much like a cop-out, the idea of flying home. Sure I had all the excuses and everything sounded hunky dory, but I knew the truth. Scott and I would have a chat, he'd convince me that all would be fine and it would be fun, he'd beg me to come with the girls, and then I'd say, "Okay! We are in!" Two days later, doubt would creep back in and I'd back out again. This flip-flopping happened no fewer than 15 times people! It was driving me (and Scott) crazy. WHY COULD I NOT MAKE UP MY MIND!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL WHO KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED?! WHY ON EARTH WAS I HOLDING BACK ON THIS?!

I still don't exactly know what my indecisiveness was about or where it was coming from. I suspect a nice chat with a therapist could uncover that, but ultimately, after talking on the phone with my sister and best friend no fewer than thirty times combined, and going over ideas and scenarios with Scott, I - at Scott's urging - looked at my options and thought to myself: what will I regret not doing? Would I regret not flying home a little early to see friends and family while Scott sailed our home south, or would I regret not taking this opportunity to show our girls an adventure, do some traveling, and spend some time at sea? Once I posed the question to myself in that way, the answer came clear as a bell: adventure.

I chose adventure.

And until making this final decision (and, yep, it's final now!) I had no idea how badly I've been craving a little adventure. Call it wanderlust, call it fernweh, call it whatever you want - but that insatiable urge for change, travel and life experience, I have it. It went a *tiny* bit dormant while the kids were small and I had barely any time to come up for air, let alone dream and scheme, but that fire that once was inside and drove me toward the unknown is beginning to flicker again. And I am so excited.

The plan right now is to head to St. Croix on Tuesday to drop off a bunch of stuff we had in storage for friends, and from there we're going to make the 35/40 hour hop to either Guadaloupe (my absolute favorite!) or Dominica. We'll spend a few days in that area and then continue island hopping down the chain, stopping where we feel, finally ending in Grenada where we will haul our boat and fly back to Chicago for fun with friends and family.

This decision feels good. It feels right.

***

If I've learned anything - particularly in the wake of Irma - it's that life and circumstances can change very, very quickly.  My grandfather - a true hedonist and man who lived a life of travel and adventure - always said: if there's an opportunity, take it. And for most of my life that little snippet of advice has carried me to some pretty amazing people, experiences and places. Sometimes it's scary and vulnerable to take a leap into the unknown, but we all know the little venn diagram about comfort zones and where the magic happens (hint: it's outside of it). So we are going to take this opportunity and we are SO excited. I'll be keeping our Facebook and Instagram pages updated where we can, so follow us over there if you want to keep up with us, though my posts will likely be sporadic.

Time to get back to our cruising roots, for a little while at least...

Back on Island Time: A Recap and Update on our Return to Post-Irma Tortola

The only time I actually got teary about our return to Tortola was during take off on the puddle jumper in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It had been an emotional few months. We were back in the US on holiday, when - days before we were scheduled to fly back - a massive hurricane named Irma demolished our island, home and livelihood. As a result, we were 'displaced' for over four months. We made the most of it, as any of you who follow our Facebook Page know; we met up with friends, we made new ones, we fundraised almost $170K for our island, and spent the holidays with family. We went to movies, dinners and we even went skiing....yes, our time in the US was nothing short of wonderful, but it was still not "home". So on that flight - that tiny little nine seater that I love and loathe so much - I felt four months worth of heartache, anticipation and excitement bubble up in me and, well, I got a little choked up.

But that's where the emotions subsided really, at least the ones that brought tears to my eyes...which actually surprised me. I had mentally prepared myself for this return, both out of self preservation and on Scott's urging (he'd been back and forth several times since the hurricanes). I also prepped the girls. There was no question that the place we left for our annual summer holiday in July was not the place we'd be returning to in January. "Tortola is not going to look like it did when we left it" I kept telling them. "We know mommy!" they would sigh (we had this conversation a lot) "It's all broken up, we *know*..." they'd say like it was no big thing, like I was asking what color the sky was. As for myself, I prepped like I do for any big moment in life: moving abroad, long sailing passages, cruising with a baby, twins, flying with kids and just about every other occasion that warranted planning: expect the worst, hope for the best. If there is anything I can pat myself on the back for it is an ability to know what I am getting into due to very calculated and ninja-like method of preparation. I was primed for some sadness and shock, and I was definitely ready for tears.

So as the azure blue of the Caribbean sea made way to our beautiful island of Tortola, I was struck by one observation: from a distance, she looks the same. (And I, for the life of me, could not get that damn Bette Midler song "From a Distance" out of my head...) But when I came to that realization, that beautiful and simple realization, the only emotion that was left was pure, unadulterated happiness. I knew then that we were going to be okay, and whatever tears I thought I might shed upon arrival were replaced with a shit-eating grin.

***

Our plane touched down on Tortola soil and I was hit by the familiar sweet, sticky heat that I missed so much. The girls were giddy and punch drunk from almost twelve hours of travel, and as we clamored out of the tiny plane they giggled and jumped and we took in our surroundings. "Look mommy, a broken palm tree!" "Look at that broken car mommy!" "There's no windows over there mommy, hurricane Irma did that!" they observed... Sure, things were a bit worse for wear, there was no doubt about that. But it wasn't that bad. It was nothing that we hadn't seen in pictures and nothing that some time and hard work couldn't fix. The blue sky, the sun shining, and that lovely winter trade wind breeze was still there. It was all I needed to know we were back where we belonged, and it felt so. very. good.

Driving back to our home marina of Nanny Cay, we saw closer up what the aerial view from the plane did not expose; broken buildings, abandoned cars, entire homes demolished with only a single toilet left standing to let you know that, yes, just four months ago someone actually lived here. Sure, it was sad. And to know that so many people are still unemployed and struggling on a daily basis, that is very hard. But nothing about the state of the island was utterly shocking to me. Nothing really took my breath away. Call it a point for social media; but I knew more or less what to expect. Sure, seeing it in person is a little bit different, but after scrolling through hundreds of photos and having spoken to many on-island friends, I felt well prepared. As our taxi man, Larry, navigated potholes new and old, the girls pointed out all the broken things around us (like it was a game) I challenged them not to find the broken things, but the beauty around us instead... And, as kids do, they changed their tune completely; "Look at those beautiful pink flowers!" "And those baby cows! Look, beautiful cows mommy!" and "Look at the water mommy, the water is beautiful..." and it is, the water and the views are still breath-taking...

***

We arrived to our temporary residence, the catamaran that my mom had bought right before the storm to use as her base for visits. Miraculously, it survived - almost unscathed - only a couple slips down from where our boat sank. The girls ran into like it was no big thing. They claimed rooms, started un packing their things and playing. Like we'd lived here forever. I immediately went into organizing mode and started assessing storage and where things would go, keeping in mind that this is a temporary dwelling and we'd be moving again in a couple of months, and that's when I saw her out of our front window: Legato. Our old boat who had been found on the bottom of our marina a month after Irma and who'd been raised and laid haphazardly on her side along the break wall in the place that is now referred to as "the graveyard". She is a sorry sight and almost unrecognizable; her name nearly completely rubbed off, her once-sparkling navy hull now a dullish gray-blue due to the murk from a month on the seabed, and her rigging in tangles on her deck and all around her. While it is sad to get an eye full of her nearly every day, she is a reminder that we have not given up and we are moving on. Life after Irma gave us a lot of perspective, namely: a boat is replaceable. People are not. We are blessed and lucky and can and will rebuild. We unpacked a few things and hit up the beach bar where we were greeted with happiness and hugs, the girls went running off on an adventure on their own, they didn't miss a beat... We even left a pair of flip flops buried in the sand like old times. It was almost as if we hadn't left.

***

"How *are* you?" people will ask us in earnest with a gentle shoulder touch and heavy look in their eyes. I feel almost guilty shrugging and saying, "We are fine, we are really just *so* happy to be back." I also feel guilty for people thinking that we have any reason not to be fine. Sure, we lost a hell of a lot in Irma and she really knocked us off our feet - but she did that to every. single. other. person who lived here as well - and we are far luckier than most. We didn't have to live through the horror of the storm, were 'displaced' in a familiar place with familiar people, we had solid insurance (that has paid out!), a roof, power, and take-out and Uber and organic food... we could flush our toilets, come and go as we pleased and we could cook on a stove. We were fine. Coming back we have returned to a very comfortable boat with air conditioning, a cooking stove and electricity. We live in Nanny Cay, arguably the most recovered and comfortable place to live at the moment, with a vibrant community, a fully stocked grocery store, coffee shop and beach bar with nightly barbecue specials (THERE IS TACO TUESDAY NOW, PEOPLE!)....we cannot complain. "Honestly, we are just so happy to be back" is what I say to everyone, and I mean it with all of my heart. Maybe that makes me odd, but the destruction doesn't really bother me that much. And the girls? They don't give a hoot about it. Kids are truly amazing in that way, their resilience is inspiring.

***

We have been back just over two weeks and the thing is this: while everything looks VERY different, (the destruction from this storm is everywhere, overwhelming and almost too much to comprehend)  the BVI still FEELS the same. In fact, in some ways, I even like it better than before. It's a little grittier, a little more raw, a little less crowded and it feels more rustic. As someone who used to live in a little cowboy town in East Africa, I like rustic. We didn't move here for the architecture, the restaurants, or the cuisine...we weren't here for the glitzy night-life, spas, fantastic road quality or the bustling city center. We were here because we love living on the water and beacause we love this community. Because we love the melting pot of cultures Tortola provides and the fact that our girls greet at least ten different nationalities and dialects on a daily basis...we were here because most of our waking hours are spent outside in the sun, running around barefoot in the sand or climbing trees or swimming in pools.... we were here because the pace of life is a little slower and planning an outing with friends takes minutes, not weeks....we were here because this little group of islands - the BVI - are so. damn. beautiful and unlike any other place on earth.... we were here because we can hop in our boat and have lunch on a new island in less than an hour....we were here because people are more laid back, rules are not so rigid, and we can be a bit more "heathen" and a little less "uptight"....we were here because the characters we meet on a daily basis range from the crazy to the quirky to the profound and we learn from all of them... we were here because I truly believe this is one of the greatest places to raise little children in the world...the list goes on. My point is this: all of that is *still* here.

So - don't get me wrong - Tortola is still struggling and the road to recovery is a long one, I do not want to sugarcoat that. I have an overwhelming amount of respect for those people who were here for the storm, and those people who have remained to rebuild in the aftermath. I honestly cannot imagine what they all endured....Help is still needed here and it will be an uphill battle for quite a while, years in fact. But for us, at least, it's okay. In fact, it's better than okay.

It is so, so good to be home.

To see more pictures of our daily goings-ons, please follow us on Facebook (@sailwindtraveler) or Instagram (@windtraveler), where I am posting daily.  More blog posts and updates to come! Thank you for your notes of concern and patience. My email has been more or less neglected since having the twins (cringe) but I appreciate all your kind notes. Thank you for being an amazing community for us.

Back to the Boat, Back on Island Time: On Adaptation and Change

It never ceases to amaze me just how adaptable children are. After two months back in the US at my mom's house, I was certain we'd have a little "adjustment" period back at the boat. The girls, after all, are getting bigger, older, and can most certainly grasp the difference between a boat and a house, not to mention the concept of personal space. They loved being back at Grandma's. They have friends back there, we fell into a nice little routine, and - most concerning for me - they became pretty accustomed to life in a three bedroom ranch. They played tag every morning, hid under beds and behind drapery...they enjoyed their own rooms and had plenty of drawers each for their clothes (on the boat they have the equivalent of one small drawer each and only the twins have their own dedicated 'room'). They played in the back yard on the tire swing, pushed baby doll strollers down hallways, and rode bikes and trikes a plenty...Bringing them back to the boat meant a lot of this stuff was going to come to an abrupt halt.

So you can imagine my surprise when, after over a week of being back, I have yet to hear of a single complaint about anything we left back home (minus grandma, of course). I haven't heard any lamentations over the lack of a backyard or whining that they miss the library, nor have the girls put in requests for anything that I thought they might miss - from food to toys - from their time up north. They haven't even asked for television (which was something we admittedly watched significantly more of back in the house). I was, at the very least, prepared for a few sleepless nights as they re-acclimated with their old beds, but, no. In fact, they fell back into napping and night sleeping better than they did these last two months on land! I have to say I was shocked. Each time we have a transition like this I brace myself for a fallout, for tantrums and wonky adjustment periods - and yet - they never happen.  It's incredible and once again our girls show me that mama needs to take a chill pill. "I have no idea why this still surprises me" I told my mom on the phone the other day. "They just fall back into step." To which she replied with her motherly wisdom, "Kids are very adaptable."

And they are. And it's pretty amazing.

***

The days leading up to our departure were super busy on both ends; I was busy packing up and prepping for the flights (remember, I prepare for these things like a ninja!), Scott was up to his eyeballs in work while simultaneously launching and readying Asante for our return (she was on the hard the last three months). I'm glossing over a ton of details but suffice it to say we were frenetic on both ends. The girls and I enjoyed an uneventful day of travel and landed on Tortola just as the sun was beginning to set and the tree frogs start singing their nightly tunes. Our favorite taxi driver, Larry, picked us up with a big smile and huge hugs, and soon we were en-route back to the boat.

The girls were *so* excited to be back. The boat was a flurry of energy; snuggles with daddy, finding "new" toys, running amok (as children who have been cooped up in planes for a whole day are wont to do) and preparing dinner. Meanwhile, I unpacked all our bags.

The next morning we went out to breakfast with daddy and - oh my gosh! - the girls were greeted with so many hugs and fist bumps and smiles from every direction. "Who are you people and where were you?" one fellow breakfast patron asked with a laugh, "I've never seen so many people so excited to see four girls!" It gave us the warm fuzzies to know we were missed since, truth be told, sometimes I think the presence of three very active, loud and exuberant toddlers might cramp our marina's style. It's hard to keep a low profile around here with our crew. Not everyone loves little children and I can respect that - but according to the various workers, wait staff and crew members around us who repeatedly told the girls, "Nanny Cay just wasn't the same without you!" we were missed. And I believe wholeheartedly that Nanny Cay wasn't the same, if for no other reason than it was a lot more quiet!

***

Being back has been amazing and totally rejuvenating. And, okay, it's not all been smooth sailing; my car got a flat on the first day I drove it and I also discovered I can no longer get out of the driver's side door without rolling down the window and opening it from the outside (#islandcars). Other than those minor nuisances, life is good. Scott is busier than ever at the moment, we are down pretty much all our captains this month so he is pulling double duty and burning the midnight oil every night to stay on top of everything. I am so incredibly proud of him and how he's managing because it is not easy. Meanwhile, the girls and I have fallen right back into swing. We have our little routine of breakfast on the boat followed by some morning outing/activity/playdate, then lunch and nap time around noon, then our afternoon outing/activity/playdate followed by dinner, bath and bedtime between 7 and 7:30pm. Of course there are variations and special occasions, but that's the gist of it. Lots of fresh air, playtime with other children, and glorious sunshine. The pool and beach are regulars in our days and then there's the beach bar, which in the afternoon is a hub of activity and where I can let the girls run free with their little friends to climb trees, swing from ropes, build with the beach jenga blocks or hold scooter races. It's simple, no fluff, fun. And mommy can have her afternoon spritzer or two (wink).

Speaking of scooters, our Micro Scooters have now become the preferred method of travel for the girls. These days, instead of me pushing a double stroller to and fro most of the time, you will find our little gang ripping around the marina like little skater girls. It's pretty hilarious to watch because they are so small and so fast, that it's rare for anyone who passes not to smile or giggle because they look so damn cute all in a row squealing and laughing. Yet another reminder of how fast time flies and how with every month a new milestone is reached when kids are little. There is no way I would have trusted them to fly around here a few months ago, but now - it's how they roll and they love the independence. Of course they are wearing their life jackets while doing so - they get ahead of me so quickly now and the threat of falling in is more imminent - the life jackets put my mind and heart at ease. "If they fall in, they'll float" I tell onlookers. Bumps, bruises and scrapes don't phase me. In fact I encourage those things with our girls. But water safety is no joke. Even though the girls know our "rules" and have excellent control over their rides, it's better to be safe than sorry. That PSA aside...we love our "scooter boards" (as Mira likes to call them, oh yeah - the twins are full on talking now!) and if you are looking for a great scooter for your child, you seriously need to check Micro Scooters out.

***

So that is where we are at. It's been a pretty great re-entry to boat life and we have been welcomed back to our adopted island with open arms. Life is simple and we are happy. The fact that our girls have made this transition easy makes me very proud of them and I sure hope that this flexibility continues into adulthood for them (it's a trait that doesn't come as naturally to their mother *coughcough*). Change is not always easy and rarely is it effortless, but it is good. And adaptability is what can make it great. Being back on island, back to our floating home? It's exactly what we needed.

Now...how they will handle pre-school three half-days out of the week? That adjustment might prove a little more difficult, for all of us!

Tiny space? No big deal to these kids. In fact, I think they prefer close quarters!

Always a great option for a morning activity

Scooter races are the afternoon activity of choice on many days

This is what I call the "Meyers Mimosa" - soda water and orange juice. 

Swinging from trees is always fun!

We spend a lot of time crafting and coloring as well, but these mess free Water Wow's are my fave!

"How old is that little girl?" is a question I get all the time about our fearless little Haven.

This is our backyard. I mean...what a view to take in every day. I love it.

Back to the baby pool bath on the aft deck - and we've now discovered that Joy dish soap makes the BEST bubbles. Score!

Beaching it in our SwimZip Swimwear SPF rash guards. Love our little beach babies.

Good bye sun, thanks for a great day! So happy to be able to catch the sunset every night again.

Transitioning Back to Life Afloat: Boat, Sweet Boat

We're back on the boat. Big transitions like this are rarely seamless, particularly if you have little kids in tow, but our move back to boat life went about as smooth as we could have hoped, despite Mira's ear infection that (thankfully) presented itself two days before we flew and the fact that I forgot to pack underwear (!?!). Our day of travel - thanks to luck, excessive preparation, and lessons learned - went really well, minus that forty-five minutes we were detained by customs here in the BVI due to a paperwork glitch. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't call it a "piece of cake" ("exhausting" is more like it), but we had no melt downs on the planes and we even got a few "You're girls are so well behaved!" comments from fellow passengers which is always wonderful to hear as a parent.

Last flight of our very long day!

Much of our "success" can be attributed to this woman, my amazing mom. Thank you, mom!

Scott picked us up from the airport and the girls were so happy to see him. I didn't publicize it for obvious reasons, but I had been single momming it for three weeks and the girls were beyond thrilled to see daddy's smiling face again. They were all squeals, kisses and giggles. We got our passports stamped,  loaded our stuff into the car and headed for the marina. When we arrived at the boat, our two large boxes we'd shipped earlier were there, and those boxes - along with our five giant duffles - filled the salon of our boat. Me being slightly OCD about order and tidiness got to unpacking immediately. The girls were punch drunk and overtired from their long day of travel, but super excited to be back on the boat amongst all their old toys which, in our absence, regained all their luster. With them entertained, I unpacked and organized like a Tasmanian devil. I really wish I'd had the forethought to take a 'before' and 'after' photo of our salon, but my tunnel vision of "Must. Organize. Home." pretty much took over and my work was certainly cut out for me. Within two hours our boat looked like her old self, and I started the process of getting the girls in bed. Not gonna lie, I impressed myself.

Isla was super excited about being back in her "bunk" bed. The twins? Not so much. They were visibly terrified to go back in the v-berth and screamed holy hell while I peeled them off my person to put into bed. It broke my heart and I had that moment of, "What have I done to our children?!" The first couple of nights were very rough, with many wakings and little sleep. I resorted to co-sleeping up there with them just to calm their fears and was so worried we were in for a major sleep regression, when we they had just started sleeping through the night back home. Luckily, each night has gotten progressively better and now we are not only on the local time (which is two hours ahead of what we were on) but we have no more tears and, last night, the twins slept through the night, from 6:30pm to 6:45am! There is hope for me yet!

The transition was much easier for Isla, who is a traveling pro now and was VERY excited about her bunk bed.

While I knew in my heart of hearts that coming back to the boat and our adopted island of Tortola would be a good thing, there's always butterflies in my tummy preceding big changes. Being back though? It's been amazing. Nanny Cay, the marina where we live, is fantastic. Not only are the services and facilities top-notch, but there is a bonafide community of wonderful people and children here. We definitely still get the transient nature that is synonymous with marina living, but it's really nice to know that there is a core group of people and children that we can call friends. I really can't say enough good things about this place.

Not a bad view to have in your back yard!

The Nanny Cay Beach, where many, many hours will be spent!

Isla has instantly fallen back in with her old crowd of little friends. These kids, some who live aboard and some who live in the condos on the premises, range in age between eight and thirteen are the most welcoming, sweetest kids ever. Isla runs off with them and they swing her around, play soccer with her, carry her on their shoulders and they've sort of adopted her as a little sister which makes my heart so happy to see. She positively thrives in their company. You know what else is awesome? I have never, ever seen one of these kids on a cell phone or computer. They're outside; playing on the beach, swinging in the trees, sailing their dinghies of the beach and simply kids being kids. It's incredibly refreshing and any doubts that lurked in my mind about brining our girls down here to raise were immediately erased when I saw the interaction between Isla and these children. I love it. Everyone we've talked to has told us, "It's an idyllic place to raise a child" and I can believe that.

The best part? After two years (and three kids!) we have reunited with the Sunkissed Soeters, the family that we cruised with for months and months (click the link to see Isla and Stormer 'before' photos!) back in the day. The connection we have with this family is really hard to articulate - they are truly more like family than friends - and when we last parted we swore that we would be together again. Hundreds of online chats and hours of Skype conversations later, here we are together again. And we are neighbors! Isla and Stormer, raised almost like siblings for about eight months haven't missed a beat. It's like no time has passed and they have fallen right back into step, chatting away, holding hands while waking down the dock, and demanding play dates in the few hours a day that we are not together. It's wonderful. Finding and being surrounded by your "tribe" is a real key to happiness in this life, I think.

We caught their dinghy line when they came to check in. Cannot even tell you how happy we all were!

These two have a special bond and started playing again like no time had passed!

So we are here. We're getting settled and it's been wonderful. There's so much excitement on the horizon, so much to learn and so many adventures to have. Of course there are kinks to work out and new routines to develop. We are getting our bearings again and - all in all - life is good and I am so, so happy to be back. Our cup runneth over. Thank you all for your well-wishes and support, it means so much to us. More to come!

Flying with Toddlers? Our Tips and Tricks to Make the Skies Friendlier

Air travel with little kids can be stressful. I have flown solo with one child probably eight times and have flown with three toddlers, two of whom are lap children, twice (with the help of my mom). I am about to embark on this endeavor a third time despite the fact that I still have a post-traumatic stress from the last time. What I have learned thus far is that traveling with one child is relatively easy and traveling with three is exponentially harder. I have also learned that it gets infinitely easier the older a child gets (for example, Isla, our three year old is a piece of cake. Our twenty month old twins? Notsomuch). Flying with three kids age three and under is no small feat but I am here to tell you it can be done and with some strategic planning, it can even go kind of smoothly. I am going to share my tips and tricks with you in the hopes that I save a few gray hairs from sprouting on a fellow momma's head.

Tips for Flying with Toddlers

1. Pack and Prepare EARLY. I am a little nutso about preparation, and maybe with fewer and/or older kids you can be more "fly by the seat of your pants" about things. But me? I go through our travel day in my head like Tom Brady prepping for a Super Bowl. I envision every possible scenario from illness to blowouts, from hold ups to cancellations. I make a spreadsheet packing list well before we leave, strategically pack our diaper bag with everything we might need and try to be 98% packed at least 24 hours before we depart.  

   

   This is a spreadsheet/checklist that comes with Apple Pages (Mac's version of Word). Super simple.
2. Baby wearing is your friend. I am a huge advocate of baby wearing. Whenever I see a mom struggling in the airport (or grocery store, or bank or anywhere) holding her young child/infant while wrestling for something else, I want to reach out and say, "Honey, there's an easier way!" Baby wearing is it. We bring our two Ergo Carriers for the twins, and it's much easier to throw them on our backs when we check the travel stroller. Most infants also sleep really well in carriers, so they are great for smaller lap babies when in flight. 
3. Invest in a great travel stroller. This right here is what I am MOST excited about right now. We have an amazing double stroller to get our girls around the airports that is only slightly larger and heavier than a SINGLE umbrella stroller. Our Kinderwagon Hop is the bomb. It can be checked at the gate (at which point we 'wear' the twins) and will make getting from gate to gate and killing time during our layover much easier. When I travelled solo with our first, I learned that a baby carrier was amazing, but when we were delayed for over ten hours, I WISHED I had a small stroller to push her around in as well.

   

   Kind of crazy about this stroller. 

4. Pay to check the bags. Just do it. Three kids and schlepping around your stuff? Insane.
5. Snacks, snacks, and more snacks. Food is your friend and when all else fails, a yummy snack will distract a child for a bit. They key is in EASY snacks, things that your little ones can hold and feed themselves. We have snack traps that we fill with cheerios or goldfish. We bring lots of "goo goos" (food pouches) and graham crackers are in our diaper bag. A few special "sweet" treats (organic fruit snacks) are also good in a pinch.
6. Travel with children's dramamine. This could get me in trouble, but a little dose of children's Dramamine (for Isla 1/2 pill, for twins, 1/3) will knock your kids out cold. Sleeping children are quiet children and this little trick (that I learned myself just from sailing with the kiddos) works wonders for me. How long they will sleep all depends, but it will definitely chill them out. Melatonin will also work. (Note: I am not a doctor, please do your own research regarding drugging your children.)
7. Invest in toys that will only be seen on the plane. If it's new, it will capture your child's attention, period. I bought a few new toys for the girls that will be big surprises when the "old" toys we have handy lose their luster. Hit up Target, the dollar store, wherever - but a few new things will certainly distract the littles.
   
8. Travel with a spare set of clothes for each child. Most moms already know this trick, but it bears repeating. I will never forget the time I was flying home from St. Lucia with Isla. The taxi to the aiport was a solid hour of crazy island roads and driving and immediately when our taxi stopped in front of the airport, she vomited all over me and herself. I was grateful that I a) had layered and b) had a whole new outfit for her.
9. Bring a few gallon size ziplock bags. These will be helpful in the aforementioned scenario and for diapers. 
10. Enlist help if possible. I would feel confident (but not excited about) flying alone with my three girls when they are age three and over, but right now? Hell no. I am so lucky that my mom (a travel agent) usually flies with us and her extra set of hands has saved our day and my sanity more than once!
11. Don't over-do it. Try not to overpack or bring too much gear in your carry on/diaper-bag because don't forget, there's not much room to get to all that stuff when it's jammed underneath you (or, worse! in the overhead compartment) and you have a baby on your lap. Try to be strategic about what you bring.

    

    We have always (knock on wood!) been lucky with amazing flight neighbors who love the girls.

12. Burn energy at the gate. All kids are different and for two of my three, sitting still on an airplane is not that hard. But our Haven is a game-changer. She is a tornado - full of energy, smiles and noise. We try to let her loose when we can to burn off energy so she's not wanting to do it on the plane.
13. Board as late as possible. "I can't believe they don't let mothers and kids board first anymore!" one mom lamented during our last flight. Me? I wait as long as possible to board because every minute that I don't have to try to restrain my kids sitting in an airplane is one more minute that they are better behaved en-route!
14. Take a deep breath. No matter how experienced or prepared you are, traveling with toddlers can be stressful. Flights get delayed, kids get fussy, illness strikes and bags get lost. Take a deep breath and try to be mindful of the fact that you will probably never see any of the people around you again. "This too, shall pass."

The gear we're rolling with:

1. Ergobaby Performance Carrier - I have tried many baby carriers and love them all for different reasons, but this carrier is our go-to. Great for bigger babies/toddlers and easy to get on and off. In a pinch, I can easily wear both my twins in these; one on front, one on back.
2. Kinderwagon Hop Tandem Umbrella Stroller - this stroller is amazing. Light, compact and sturdy - I am seriously so excited to have it I cannot even begin to tell you. Perfect for traveling parents.
3. Ubbi Tweat Snack Container - I love these snack traps, mainly because they have a lid so you don't end up with a bunch of cheerios in the bottom of your bag when the kids aren't using them.
4. Kickee Pants Baby Girls' Pajama Set - I am kind of obsessed with this brand of kid's cloths. It's made from bamboo which not only makes it crazy soft, but they are also very thin and pack super small. Our girls travel in Kickee's and we have a spare set in the diaper bag just in case.
5. Melissa and Doug Water Wow's - These are a fantastic travel toy. The pen fills easily with water and after a child colors the pages, they dry and can be used over, and over, and over. Mess free!
6. VTech Touch and Swipe Baby Phone - because all kids are obsessed with phones. (This is one of the 'surprise' toys)
7. VTech Click and Count Remote - because all kids are obsessed with remotes. (This is another 'surprise' toy)
8. Fisher-Price Smart Stages Tablet - another engaging toy that is simple, entertaining and a (little bit) educational.
9. Children's Dramamine - to take the edge off ;)
10. Sailor Bags Back Pack - Every time we fly, this bag is our carry on of choice. Enough room to carry all the baby gear and then some, but not so big to be cumbersome.
11. Mini Look and Find Books - these little travel books were recommended to me by a fellow twin mom. Lots of things to "look and find" in the pages to help keep older toddlers engaged.
12. LilGadgets Children's Headphones - ear buds just don't really work for little kids and now Isla can listen to the games on our iPad or watch a movie comfortably. (This is Isla's "surprise" inspired by my friend, Genevieve, who got something similar for her daughters pre-flight)
13. Melissa & Doug ColorBlast Mess-Free Books - another great travel toy, mess free coloring.
14. Apple iPad Tablet with BUDDIBOX® Case - the iPad comes with us because we have loaded it with educational games with Isla. The buddiebox keeps it safe and easy for her to hold.

We also travel with a mini medical kit containing: Similisan ear drops (for ear aches and ear pressure relief), Children's Motrin, Children's Tylenol, a thermometer, Vicks Vapo Rub and bandaids. We also travel with other incidentals like: antibacterial hand spray, diapers, wipes, and pacifiers.

I hope this is helpful! If anyone else have any tried and true tricks and tips for successful air travel with toddlers, please share in the comments!

Our Sailor Bags Square Duffels all ready to go!