Indecision and The Question that Drove it Away: How I Made up my Mind to Sail South

If action is the basis for success, indecision is the birthplace of failure. And dear god, have I been indecisive this last month...To be fair, I have always considered myself a pretty resolute person; I typically know what I want and go for it. I follow my gut - which usually leads me in the right, or at the very least, an interesting, direction - and I've never been one to hem and haw and change my mind, which is why this past month has been...well...driving me batty.

***

Ever since our last boat and most of all our worldly possessions were taken by Hurricane Irma last summer, we knew that our next boat would not be left in the path of harm (aka: hurricane alley, which is where we happen to live). The storms of last season took away a whole lot from a whole lot of people, but one good thing they swept away in their wake: complacency. No one wants to be caught with their pants down this year (and probably for the next few following) and neither do we. So our plan: sail ourselves south for the peak hurricane months of August and September and haul our boat in Grenada, where storms are "statistically" less likely to strike (knocks on wood). This way, we can enjoy time back with friends and family with relatively little stress (watching hurricane Irma on her death march to our home was pure agony) and our boat will not be a sitting duck in the water. For months this has been our plan; re-visit our former island-hopping cruising days for a short while. The girls are older, they are all great swimmers, and our boat - a Hallberg Rassy 46 - is a legitimate thoroughbred on the water. She loves to sail. This was our plan since we returned in January and I was all about it.

Until the time to leave grew closer and indecision set up shop in my brain.

My first guest was doubt... I turned over a million scenarios in my head and came up with as many excuses why sailing south wasn't really a good idea: "Is our boat really ready?" "Are the girls really ready?" "Would it cut too much into our time back home with friends and family?" "What if the twins get sick and don't sleep well?" "We really need more fans...." "Our dinghy leaks air..." "We don't have solar power or a water maker, we should have those to cruise..." "What if we get into shit weather and I have to help Scott, what will the girls do?" and (shameful to admit) "What will I do without regular wifi!?"  these questions, along with a myriad of others plagued me day and night and opened the door for indecision. Do we stay or do we go? Ultimately (hindsight being the best magnifier) - it was fear that caused me to make the "chicken out" decision to flying home from here - though I didn't think it at the time. I had made up my mind, we were opting out of the sail.

But for some reason the decision was not sitting right.

If I was honest, it did feel very much like a cop-out, the idea of flying home. Sure I had all the excuses and everything sounded hunky dory, but I knew the truth. Scott and I would have a chat, he'd convince me that all would be fine and it would be fun, he'd beg me to come with the girls, and then I'd say, "Okay! We are in!" Two days later, doubt would creep back in and I'd back out again. This flip-flopping happened no fewer than 15 times people! It was driving me (and Scott) crazy. WHY COULD I NOT MAKE UP MY MIND!? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL WHO KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTED?! WHY ON EARTH WAS I HOLDING BACK ON THIS?!

I still don't exactly know what my indecisiveness was about or where it was coming from. I suspect a nice chat with a therapist could uncover that, but ultimately, after talking on the phone with my sister and best friend no fewer than thirty times combined, and going over ideas and scenarios with Scott, I - at Scott's urging - looked at my options and thought to myself: what will I regret not doing? Would I regret not flying home a little early to see friends and family while Scott sailed our home south, or would I regret not taking this opportunity to show our girls an adventure, do some traveling, and spend some time at sea? Once I posed the question to myself in that way, the answer came clear as a bell: adventure.

I chose adventure.

And until making this final decision (and, yep, it's final now!) I had no idea how badly I've been craving a little adventure. Call it wanderlust, call it fernweh, call it whatever you want - but that insatiable urge for change, travel and life experience, I have it. It went a *tiny* bit dormant while the kids were small and I had barely any time to come up for air, let alone dream and scheme, but that fire that once was inside and drove me toward the unknown is beginning to flicker again. And I am so excited.

The plan right now is to head to St. Croix on Tuesday to drop off a bunch of stuff we had in storage for friends, and from there we're going to make the 35/40 hour hop to either Guadaloupe (my absolute favorite!) or Dominica. We'll spend a few days in that area and then continue island hopping down the chain, stopping where we feel, finally ending in Grenada where we will haul our boat and fly back to Chicago for fun with friends and family.

This decision feels good. It feels right.

***

If I've learned anything - particularly in the wake of Irma - it's that life and circumstances can change very, very quickly.  My grandfather - a true hedonist and man who lived a life of travel and adventure - always said: if there's an opportunity, take it. And for most of my life that little snippet of advice has carried me to some pretty amazing people, experiences and places. Sometimes it's scary and vulnerable to take a leap into the unknown, but we all know the little venn diagram about comfort zones and where the magic happens (hint: it's outside of it). So we are going to take this opportunity and we are SO excited. I'll be keeping our Facebook and Instagram pages updated where we can, so follow us over there if you want to keep up with us, though my posts will likely be sporadic.

Time to get back to our cruising roots, for a little while at least...

Selling Your Writing to Sailing Magazines: A Review

If there is one overwhelmingly popular way that would-be cruisers dream of filling the cruising kitty while underway, it is by writing. And why not? Ample time and a daily cocktail of equal parts adventure and inspiration provide plenty of fodder for stories. Not to mention the fact that the sea will often bring out the desire to wax poetic in a person. Sadly, writing doesn't always pay the bills...or, any bills for that matter. Not only is writing a famously meager way to make a living, but the cruising world is small and the publications that cater to us - and the audiences that read them - are limited.

BUT...all is not lost! There are many cruisers selling words and making decent money with their writing, and you can be one of them. The new book "Selling Your Writing to the Boating Magazines (and other niche mags)" is a step by step guide on how to, well... sell your writing to boating magazines. Turns out, there are tricks to successfully writing for niche publications and industry-proved ways to ensure your piece stands out in the crowd. While it is difficult to make a bonafide living by writing articles, published stories can be a fantastic way to drop coins (and sometimes many!) into the cruising kitty. You just need to know how.

"Selling Your Writing to the Boating Magazines (and other niche mags)" is your book. Author Micheal Robertson is not only a fellow live-aboard cruiser, but one of the people making a decent chunk of change with his writing, and has been for years. You might recognize his name among the authors of the fantastic book, >>>"Voyaging with Kids"<<< and he is regularly featured in the most popular sailing publications, so he knows what he is talking about when it comes to pitching magazines. His book is not only for sailors either, the tips and tricks can be applied to any niche publication. While his examples, contacts and anecdotes will be almost exclusively related to the sailing industry, they will be helpful to any writer try to break into the industry.

I obviously have a vested interest in this subject because, in time, I have big plans to ramp up my writing and (hopefully) make more money with it - so when he reached out to me for a review, I jumped at the chance...

The book is short, sweet and to the point. I read it in three days, so it is by no means overwhelming, which I loved. It assumes you know nothing about publishing, which makes it very easy for a layman to read. It's laid out in a very organized "step by step" way - from pitch to payment - any really demystifies the world of publication. "Selling Your Writing to the Boating Magazines (and other niche mags)" takes you through each and every step of the publishing process, he offers tips on how to make your piece stand out and how to forge good relationships with editors. In short, Michael lays out everything for you in a clean, easy to understand format. The only thing he doesn't do is write your piece for you.

Not convinced? Some other review snippets from very prominent cruisers and industry insiders:

“From now on when I get queries from sailors wanting to know how to get started as writers for the sailing press, I’ll recommend this book. It’s not just the book editors have been waiting for, it’s the book long awaited by every sailor who hopes to make a buck while pursuing his sailing dream.” —Karen Larson, Publisher of Good Old Boat

“Concise, useful and encouraging for any aspiring magazine writer, not just those in the sailing field.”—Lin Pardey, author of more than 400 magazine articles 

"Michael Robertson has done a great job composing a primer of practicalities for freelance writers. His clear advice is reinforced by having been widely published himself, allowing him to cite numerous useful examples from his own efforts."
—Tim Queeney, Editor of Ocean Navigator 

"If you’ve ever thought about sharing your passion by writing about what you love, you need this book. Michael Robertson has put together the ultimate toolkit for launching your freelancing dream." —Beth A. Leonard, freelancer, speaker, and author who supported herself for two decades writing from her boat

If you have dreams to sail off into the sunset and want to pen "freelance writer" in the occupation box on your customs forms, you need this book.

Who knows? You might even become the next >>>Fatty Goodlander<<<....

Happy writing!

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book free of charge in return for my honest review. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this article are my own.

Maho Bay, Where Magic Happens and Serendipity Rules

Magic happens in Maho Bay, St. John. Maybe it’s the turquoise water, the pristine stretch of white sand beach, or perhaps it's the fact the famously calm bay is situated on one of the Caribbean’s most beloved islands and smack-dab in national park... but every time we come here - something extraordinary occurs.

Last year Maho played host to the >>>twin’s first birthday party<<< , as well as one of my >>>best friend's birthday parties<<<, which also happened to serendipitously coincide with the meeting of a couple of blog followers who were in the area on charter. Before the aforementioned festivities went off, Lauren and Brian dinghied up to our boat, introduced themselves, and a friendship was very quickly born. We talked all things boats and cruising; they were keen to check out of the rat race and join the cruiser set, but still apprehensive on some fronts. After the weekend with us and our friends from It's a Necessity and Where the Coconuts Grow, they put their plan into high gear.

***

Just over a year later, we are back at Maho bay. But this time, Brian and Lauren are on their own boat, a beautiful Whitby 42 (a sister ship of ours, no less) and are now full-time cruisers with some serious street cred (and a blog!) of their own. One year. In one single year they completely changed their land-lubbing New Yorker lives and became un-tethered cruisers of the sea. Magic. (...and a lot of hard work, blood, sweat and - most likely - tears too, but for the sake of the post - we're gonna call it "magic"). Either way, that's a pretty incredible timeline.

But it's doesn't stop there...We are also in the company of a whole slew of fellow bloggers and friends who happened to descend upon this little slice of paradise at precisely the same time. While it might seem that a multiple-day blogger-rally like this was the result of lots of email and planning, this weekend gathering occurred rather haphazardly and with very little preparation. As our friend Bo of Sailing B+ A so aptly wrote on his blog post of our incredible weekend, “this kind of epic cannot be planned or anticipated”. It just sort of...happened.

It all started when our friends, the Sunkissed Soeters, mentioned they were going to go to St. John for the weekend and that we should come with. I jumped at the chance and immediately alerted, Genevieve of It’s a Neccesity, knowing that this little jaunt would be easy for them being based just across the channel in St. Thomas. When that plan materialized, we knew that Jody and Peter of Where the Coconuts Grow would want "in" as well...And so it went down the coconut telegraph with every boat contacting another and another...and before we knew it, in less than 24 hours of "planning", six boats, twelve live-aboards, and seven boat kids converged on Maho Bay for one fateful weekend of fun in the sun. 

It was an amazing time with wonderful friends, new and old. The weekend has been well documented on social media and has been dubbed "Lobsterfest 2016" thanks to a bounty of seven "bugs" the men (and Lauren!) caught one day that turned into - quite possibly - the most logistically complicated yet perfectly executed cruiser pot-luck meal in history (See >>>Lauren's post<<< for full details of the amazingness!) The lobsters were cleaned on one boat, parboiled on another, grilled on yet another, all while Lauren (a bonafide chef and self-proclaimed foodie - ohmygodsheissogood!) prepped pizza dough and fixings for seven - COUNT THAT SEVEN - lobster pizzas. Once assembled, Eben collected and dispersed the pizza's to every boat where we cooked them ourselves and brought the finished products - along with some delicious sides - aboard a beautiful power boat who's caretakers, Amanda and Justin, we had met (again serendipitously) on the beach that afternoon. After meeting all of us and getting to talking, they generously offered to play host to our massive pot luck which was a good thing because no monohull cockpit is comfy for twelve adults and seven kiddos!  

I'm missing steps of how the meal materialized for sure, but let me tell you - it all somehow went off without a hitch.

The weekend was amazing, and most certainly the highlight of this season for us. Laughs, day drinking, hiking, swimming, paddle-boarding, kiteboarding (Eben and Scott), laughing, late nights, early mornings and - in general - all the goodness we love about the cruising lifestyle in the highest, most concentrated dose ever. While weekends like this are no longer the norm for us as full-time marina dwellers in the British Virgin Islands, it's serendipitous rarity made it that much more special to us. 

***

And that couple we met on the beach? The one's who so graciously hosted our motley crew and fit right in like they've been our friends forever? We've been writing back and forth because now they are "seriously looking and talking about buying a boat and cruising the islands" just like Brian and Lauren before them. "Maho Bay, the place where dreams are discovered...." Wonder what this next year will bring? 

Magic.

Want to read/see more about the weekend? Check out these videos and blog posts by our friends:

>>>Maho Bay Lobster Weekend 2016<<<

>>> This Kind of Epic Can Not Be Planned<<<

>>> One of our Favorite Weekends of the Year (Lobsterfest Video)<<<

>>>Illegal Alien in St. John<<<

And now for a photo dump of our weekend...

Sailing from Tortola to St. John is almost always a pleasure, down wind and smooth. Perfect for the littles.

Isla taking it all in. She's always been a very zen little sailor chick.

Ritz crackers were the snack du jour. 

Under full sail. St. John in our sights.

This is a typical moment underway for us.

When you make the Virgin Islands your home, these sort of sailing scenes are normal. #lucky

The girls having fun and getting excited to see all their friends.

This is what Haven does when you ask for a "thumbs up". I find it hysterical. 

Maho Bay, full steam ahead! 

As soon as we got our mooring ball, friends started to show up. Here is Bo and Allie of s/v Selah. 

And Eben, Genevieve, Arias and Ellia of s/v Necesse.

Our view of Maho Bay. It's bliss, not gonna lie. 

Lauren and Allison promptly came over during nap time for a little gab fest and some day drinking. Love these two. 

When Genevieve's girls woke up, they headed over too!

Darcy, Luuck, Stormer and Rio arrived too...

And there's the stern of s/v Nightengale Tune, Brian and Lauren's boat.

A gathering of friends and a little day drinking in our cockpit. Our garbage bag was FULL after this day! haha!

Luuck of Sunkissed Soeters took all the kids tubing, SO MUCH FUN! Here's Isla and Stormer. So many smiles!

Our good friends Jody and Peter of Where the Coconuts grow were there too!

Because, twins. They are just the cutest;

Lauren learned very quickly that giving a toddler a phone is an easy and quick way into their good graces! 

"Oh, yeah. You're going to find a few selfies of Mira and I on your camera" - Allison. Love her.

Snorkeling with daddy.

Scott taking the kids for a little spin around the neighborhood. 

Sunset in Maho.

Party boat! Or are those Pirates!?!?

The collecting and dropping off of lobsters and supplies for the epic Lobsterfest dinner.

Breakfast time at anchor is our fave. We are up and out with the sunshine! 

Oh, Haven!

Little Mira-belle and her sneaky grin.

Again, twins. The best thing ever.

Steely eyed wild child.

Our little mermaid. Sweet as pie.

Maho is full of sea turtles, all you need to do is watch for a while and you're sure to spot them.

Watching the sea life and bird life is standard practice when at anchor.

Beach time before we shoved off.

Homeward bound full of great memories from an incredible weekend.

My little sea gypsy. Love her so much.

Upwind sailing with three toddlers is a different ball game! More challenging for sure!

Girls were over tacking at this point, but man - Scott was thrilled we got to sail the whole way back. 

Captain of our ship.

Haven, thoughtful.

Family photo of our boat from B+A's drone.

Thanks for an amazing weekend, friends! Cannot wait to do it again! xoxo

10 Boat Features we Find Useful for the Baby on Board

Boating and babies go together better than you might imagine, however, there are a few concessions one must make in order for the transition to be a smooth one. The boat you choose is a big one. The vessel you select for your journey – it’s pedigree, age, performance and features – can and will hugely impact your experience and enjoyment. This rule applies whether or not you have kids on board. There are certain traits, however, that really seem to suit the “baby on board” moniker. After three kids and over four years of boating with babies and/or toddlers we have compiled a list of ten boat characteristics that make life afloat with little ones easier. If you are like me, anything that makes the already hard job of parenting less of a crazy train is worth noting, so take heed. These things might not be “essential” but will almost certainly impact the frustrating vs. fun factor. 

Plenty of cabins/bunks

We wish SO BADLY we had a third cabin, it’s insane. We will most certainly be upgrading to a new boat in the next couple years and you had better believe our next boat will have a third cabin. The twins currently share our v-berth, but Isla sleeps in a make shift bunk bed we made in our walk-thru. She loves it and it works great for her…now. It’s definitely got an expiration date as it’s smaller than a toddler bed and children have this uncanny ability to grow non-stop, not to mention the fact that her placement in the “main cabin” of our boat greatly inhibits our life after she goes to bed. We cannot cook, watch movies, or hang out in our salon once it’s ‘lights out’ for her. Not the biggest deal to befall a boater, but something to seriously consider when boat shopping.

Plenty of water tankage

We used to be really conservative about our water use aboard when we cruised as a couple. We carried 60 gallons and had a 5 gallon per hour water maker that we’d run for a few hours once a week. We were so good and ecological! Now? We’re all “Who built the Ark? Let’s fill up that baby pool on the aft deck so the kids will play quietly for twenty minutes!” Luckily, when we were actively cruising with our eldest, we foresaw the need (or desire?) for more water and outfitted our boat with a high-output Cruise RO water maker. We sang it praise almost every day. Babies are messy. REALLY Being able to hose them off after the beach, the pool, or after they smear pasta sauce and/or god knows what else all over their adorable pudgy bodies really makes life easier. Not to mention the ability to do laundry regularly. We regularly rinse our boat, our clothes, ourselves and our kids and – believe me – life is better because of it!

Ability to be singlehanded

This is a biggie for the baby boat because human babies are pretty damn dependent for the first couple years of life. We learned very quickly that once we had our first child, one person needed to be on boat duty, while the other was on baby duty. When sailing overnight, we both assumed watch schedules while Isla slept, but most of the time, mommy tended to all things baby, while daddy sailed the boat. Of course we both could do the other’s job (to a point, Scott couldn’t nurse the babies) but we found this arrangement worked well for us.

Center cockpit

There are those that love center cockpit boats, and those that don’t. We stand firmly and proudly in the first camp. A center cockpit is great for a ‘baby boat’ for so many reasons. For one, it provides a nice 360 degree buffer between the water and the child, which is always a nice bonus when it comes to a baby on a boat. It also allows for an aft cabin, which makes for a great en-suite master bedroom and a little separation from the front of the boat and kids. And finally the center cockpit layout provides an aft-deck which makes a great place to load and unload provisions, store beach gear an other miscellaneous effects, and makes for an ideal area to hose off and/or shower after a day at the beach.

Swim platform

This makes getting in and out of the dinghy with babies tremendously easier. Having a nice, secure step or platform between the boat and the dinghy is great for doing the (sometimes precarious) baby-to-boat handoff. And if you ever find yourself solo parenting as I do? The step is almost a necessity! We will never own a boat without one of these!

One level interior

Having an interior with as few “levels” as possible is nice because, trust me, your baby will fall down those naughty little steps all. the. time. before they figure out how to climb up or down them. Granted, this window of time is super short so if you have a few steps (and I’m not talking about the companionway steps) fear not…but if you have the choice, a boat with a level interior will guarantee you hear fewer blood curdling screams from a tot that just took a tumble, not to mention give a little more surface to practice crawling or walking. Don’t get me wrong, your boat baby will take a ton of tumbles regardless – but if you want less, find a boat with less steps.

Vinyl cushions

Never in a million years would I have outfitted a boat with white vinyl cushions, but holy heck am I glad webought a boat with them. I cannot even IMAGINE what our cushions would look like if they were regular interior fabric because the amount of food, sauce, paint, marker, crayon, pen, playdoh, juice and you don’t even want to know what else I have wiped off is INSANE. Three toddlers are messy. Period. Our cushions not only clean up like a breeze, but make me more laid back about messes (and making them! which, mind you, goes against my very tidy nature but is great for kids) because, “It’s cool, kids! Don’t sweat that spilled paint! Look, we just wipe it right up!” I mean, I wash our cushions using the same spray cleaner I use for the counters. It. is. awesome. Would not want a baby boat without them.

Extra storage

We are definitely not minimalists, but we do try to limit what we bring on board. Even still, three kids equal a ton of crap. From booster chairs to books, from crafting supplies to clothes, from beach toys to building blocks – you will need a good place to keep it all. The more storage, the better. And if you can be well organized about it, even better. Organization on a boat is like golf, never mastered and a constant work in progress.

Two heads

This is one of the bonuses of a center cockpit boat. And whether or not you *think* you need an extra head they are sure nice to have because – ***spoiler alert*** – heads break down and people sometimes have to go “potty” at the same time. Toddlers, fyi, aren’t always great at holding it either and men, well…men tend to take their time. We love having two heads aboard and with a family of five, we’ve sung our extra head praise more than once, let me tell you!

Aft deck shower

Salt water and sand do not belong in the boat. They are a major pain in the butt if they infiltrate the interior so your mission, should you chose to accept it – is to keep it out. The best way to do this, short of avoiding beaches and salt water all together (not advisable!) is to do a fresh water rinse immediately when you return to the boat. Note that this favorable feature combines line items #2 (water tankage) and #4 (center cockpit). Being able to rinse off completely before we ever set foot in our cockpit is wonderful and definitely keeps salt and sand at bay. We keep a little bin full of our wash soap and shampoo on the aft deck and usually rinse off at least once, sometimes two or three times a day depending on our excursions.

So there you have the ten features we have found hugely beneficial to a boat with babies on board. It obviously goes without saying that these are things that we have found helpful and you might very have a different experience. We’ve seen families with children cruising on the most luxurious of catamarans with every gadget under the sun and we’ve seen families of five living aboard a simple thirty-two footer with as few systems as possible. It’s also worth noting that the baby and toddler stages of life are quick and fleeting, so whether or not your boat truly suits the baby stage might not be that important for you. Many of these features, however, will be enjoyed well past babyhood so keep that in mind. Either way, making sure you find a boat that works well for you and your family is the most important thing, so chose wisely. Fair winds!

THIS ARTICLE WAS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR ZIZOO BOATS.