Letters from the Twin Trenches: 8 Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

November 11, 2014

Kimberly, 

It has been way too long. I know it's my fault and I am so sorry. I have written you a hundred emails in my head and SO many nights I have gone to bed thinking "I have to write Kimberly" because, well, you will either a) feel my joy or b) (more likely) feel my pain. Alas, time just disappears. The old adage "days are long but years are short" doesn't really apply to people with twins I don't think because my days FLY by. One second it's 7:30am and I'm finishing a pot of coffee (yep, finishing a pot of coffee) and then POOF!!! It's 6pm bedtime. It's crazy. Twins are a total time sucking vortex. Granted, it's a cuddly, adorable and pretty hilariously awesome one - but a vortex none the less.

SOOOO....what is new? Both our girls' are 8 months. INSANE. Before you know it they will be a year and we will be like "WHY ARE THEY STILL NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT?!?!" Haha...I joke. Kind of. But wow, it's been a trip. So how are things? How is work? How is your mom? How are YOU? and, most important, how are the beautiful A and M? (Note: Please send a recent pic!) Oh...I guess I should ask how poor Michael is too - how is he holding up in your estro-house? ;)

I think you guys went to the Annapolis Boat show? Am I remembering correctly? How did it go? I think I saw it was successful? Did you quit your jobs and buy a boat? ;)

Things are good in our camp. We are finally in the guest house now which means we have our own space which is wonderful. Not that living with my parent's was horrible, because they were just about as awesome as they could be and we will forever be indebted to them for all their help, but a family of five needs their own space. It's been great to have it. So there's that...

I will start with the good news: the babies are awesome. Seriously, they are the happiest, most smiley little babies ever. Especially Haven. Yep. Crazy Haven; the child who screamed her head off and could not be put down for an entire three months is now the happiest baby on the planet. Always smiling. Always happy. At least in the daytime she is (I'll get to this later). She is a full-blown mama's girl and if I am in the room, she is at my feet, on my lap, eating my face or climbing up to snuggle. She's a mama-seeking missel and she is so nosy and curious. She is standing and "walking" along on furniture which is crazy. Her nickname these days is "The Steamroller" because if anything is in her path (including her poor sister) she'll just plow right over it. We reckon she will be walking by eleven months. We thought Isla was our Olympic athlete (you should see her at the playground!) but now it's looking like Haven might just be our ticket to the Games. We shall see. She is something else, let me tell you.

Mira is still chill and sweet as ever. I call her my "angel baby" because she is just so soft and delicate - I just want to eat her up. Obviously you know about the hospital stay which was awful - but, in a way, it felt almost like a vacation. Meals delivered to me? No cleaning up to do? Only one baby to tend to? Ability to sit down for more than five minutes? Sleeping more than three hour stretches?!?! File that under the hashtag: "you know you're a mom of twins when..." She's healthy as a horse now, though no where near as big and sturdy as her sister. We are actually getting her evaluated by a physical therapist just to make sure she's not delayed since I do have some concerns, though it might just be pronounced in the wake of her rather 'advanced' twin. She is only now starting to sit up on her own and still has not mastered crawling on her hands and knees for any length of time. She drags herself around like a zombie a la "thriller" and, I might add, she is damn good at it. She does a mean army crawl too. It's hilarious. She also loves to sing and bob her head to music which is the funniest thing to see since her head is so big and her little neck sometimes wobbles to support it. She's definitely got music and rhythm in her bones, she "sings" along with me by doing this hilarious open mouth monotone "aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh" - we're working on pitches. One thing at a time.

The bad news: These crazy babies are still not sleeping through the night and while naps are (dare I say?) better, they are nowhere near the consistency and length that Isla's were (they go down at 9am and 1pm every day and most days Haven will do one forty-fiver and then - if I am lucky - an hour, Mira, the better sleeper all around, will usually do an hour to an hour and a half each time thankfully). As for nighttime sleep, on a good night I get up only once or twice to tend to a child/nurse babies (Isla wakes up too now which adds insult to injury). On a bad night, I'm getting up anywhere from four to six times to nurse the babies or calm Isla from a bad dream/get her water/pick up her blanket that fell...etc and it really takes it's toll on my sanity. If you carry the two after subtracting times woken up vs. hours left for sleep - that is a maximum of two to three hours of consecutive sleep a night. It's crazy, and literally wearing both my body and my mind thin.

We did a modified cry it out out two months ago out of sheer desperation (back when the twins were waking every two hours for weeks and weeks on end), and it did work to a point (meaning only waking up at 1am and then at 6am), but I think we're teething again (both girls have their bottom two teeth) which is wreaking havoc on sleep and, of course, my mental state. Scott is sleeping with a full-blown trucker; I drop more "F" bombs in the middle of the night than I care to admit. When that monitor goes off, my heart literally skips a beat when I look at the clock and see only two or three hours has gone by, I get PISSED. Then I calm down. I try to remember this is only a sliver of time in our lives - and go and nurse them, which guarantees slumber. Sometimes I let them cry for a while to see if maybe just maybe they'll fall back asleep, but when I do that it almost always results in Haven waking the whole house which is total mayhem and I usually do what I can to avoid that, probably to the detriment of "sleep training".  Ahhh....sleep is overrated, right?....WRONG. It is not, but whatever - we're almost at a year and before we know it they'll be two and three and four and this will be nothing more than a blur, just like all the other twin moms who's kids are older tell us. But I still really want to hurt the mom's who say, "My babies slept through the night - ten hours a night -  at 4 months old!" I honestly believe if our girls slept well at night, I would be 100% a-ok. I mean, our days are awesome and I can handle all three no problem - we have our routine and our fun and all that good stuff - but the nighttime shenanigans wear me thin. Literally. I am now at my pre-baby weight and still shrinking. I guess that's the silver lining? I will definitely be bikini ready for January. No doubt.

But, sleep deprivation aside, all in all - life is so good. I am so in love with these little munchkins and they are such sweet love bugs. I never really thought I could love another child as much as I love Isla but - lo and behold - I totally do. If I had a dime for every time I say, "I cannot handle how much I love these kids!" I'd be buying that Hallberg-Rassy 46 in no time. I feel so lucky and so blessed with our girls. Isla (though fully in the throes of the "terrible twos" and full of "challenging moments") is such a joy and the twins' personalities are really coming out. I'm just DYING to see what they are like in a year. It's going to be so fun when the three of them can really play and interact - I'm getting glimpses of it now and it's fun to imagine what the future will look like with these three little ladies in it. 

It's also fun to imagine a solid 8 hours of sleep. Sigh.

Miss you - write when you can! 

Much love,

Brittany

Like this series? Check out my other "trenches" posts:

Notes from the (Twin) Trenches (48hours in)

More Notes from the Twin Trenches (2+ weeks in)

Breastfeeding Twins: A Delicate Balance (notes on successfully establishing breastfeeding)

Notes from the Twin Trenches: Three Weeks In

Letter from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another (4 weeks: letter to a fellow twin mama)

Letters from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another  (1 month in)

Letters from the Twin Trenches: A Bad Week (6 weeks in)

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In

Notes from the Twin Trenches: "This, too, Shall Pass" (three months in)

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Four Months In (Out of trenches? Not quite)

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Six Months In

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Eight Months In

Letters from the Twin Trenches: 6 Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

August 26th, 2014

Gah!!....I have been meaning to write you and am a total boob for not. The past month has been so busy with overnight visitors and travel and mini-getaways...it's been crazy. I saw an ecard meme thingy with a picture of a housewife holding a pad of paper and a pen and the line: "yeah sure, let me just add that to the list if things that will never get done".  That's how I feel these days. THAT is my life.

Anyway, thank you for writing and CONGRATS on making it through a half a year!!!!!!!!!!

As for the ups and downs, YES. I write you from the 1am feeding that should've been "dropped" a month or two ago and Isla is screaming for me in her room because now she can't sleep without me. I have to lock my door otherwise she comes in and wakes the babies, who, on some nights wake up as often as every 2 hours. Not. Good. It breaks my heart to lock Isla out but what else can I do? And the nights where the twins ("the twins" almost always being Haven) wake every 2 hours? Shoot me. To add insult to injury Isla is also up at 5 am on some mornings which is insane. Is it too much to ask to get one solid 5-6 hour chunk a night and get up north of 6am?!? My pediatrician is like, "They should be sleeping 10 hours at night" and I can't decide whether to laugh hysterically in his face or rip out his eyeballs.  Have you given any thought to crying it out? I fear I might have to go there but am terrified of it. Mira would be fine, or at least tolerable and probably respond well to it but I fear that Haven would literally blow a head gasket. I just don't know what else to do though...

So that's that. I kind of want to kill the twin moms whose kids sleep all night and on a schedule. I mean, WTF?!? HOW?!?! Naps, thankfully, are getting longer but we are nowhere  near a regular pattern. Totally across the board in time and duration. I just kind of gave up on waiting for that and am just happy that they usually sleep at or about the same time. Tiny victories. I'm all about the tiny victories.

What is awesome is how cute they are these days which somehow manages to make up for it all. They are super happy, smiley and social babies which is so fun (and so different than how Isla was at that age). No teeth yet, but they are coming. Both girls chew like puppies on anything they can get their hands on and the drool is impressive and plentiful. Both have started the process of crawling by scootching around on their bellies. I can no longer leave them on a bed. Haven has, er, proven that to me. (Thud!!) #momoftheyear

Vacation was awesome. Just amazing. The kids did better on the boat than we ever could have imagined and the fact that it was just our little fam of five was fantastic. We are still living w my parents right now (guest house not finished) and we needed alone time more than we knew it (and we knew it!!!). House will hopefully be ready in time for us to leave this January - ha!

On vacay we came up with the family motto: "if Haven's happy, we're all happy" because she is still (and I fear will ALWAYS be) loud as s**t and the one child who can turn a good outing into one that must be aborted immediately. Every family's got one, right? We went out for many meals and sometimes she'd start squawking in her pterodactyl way and I'd turn around (as I desperately waved a rattle in her face to distract her) and say, " if you can believe it, these are her happy noises!" But she was good. Just loud. And, man, can her little face melt your heart. That baby is all smiles, all the time. Overall we did a lot (hikes, walks, beaches,etc) and had fun, and the babies were awesome (minus the sleep stuff) which says a lot! I'll take it!

Okay, I have to go. I nursed them and of course chill Mira is out but Haven thinks it's play time and is squeaking.

Congrats again on reaching 6 months mama. Can not even believe it's been a half of a year. Scary how fast time flies.

Much love, sorry I've been such a slacker. It's not 'cause I don't love ya ;)

Brittany

Follow up ....

September 6, 2014

Sigh.  I just loving having you and knowing we are pretty much going through the SAME stuff.  Honestly, it's weird.  How is it that we are doing EVERYTHING right and NOTHING seems to be working?!?!  So...going out on a limb here (and being my hippy dippy self)... but I once read that Pisces babies are their OWN people and will always march to the beat of their own drummer, they are not the babies that can be put on a "schedule".  I remember reading that and being like, "CRAP! I didn't just see that...that did NOT just get in my head...that is NOT true" but now, after literally doing EVERYTHING "right" I recall reading that and I throw my hands up in the air and think to myself, "Dammit. This is in the stars". Sigh. So maybe it's just their fishy natures, I don't know.

So last night was supposed to be my first night away from the girls.  My girlfriends were all going up to Lake Geneva for a girls weekend and I was just going to go for the night and come back this morning.  I felt funny about it, and really didn't want to go - but Scott insisted (he really is a super dad, so hands on and awesome - I am very thankful for him) and wanted me to go and have a good time. With great reservation I went, and on the way there was caught in a storm so severe I thought it might be a tornado.  Literally had to pull off the road and wait because I couldn't see a thing.  Of course me being me took it as a sign.  But the rain subsided and - urged by my girlfriends and Scott - I pushed on.

Guess who drove home at 2:30am?

This girl.

Haven woke up crying, quickly escalated into her "someone just stabbed my eyeball with a needle" cry and all hell broke loose.  Scott was texting me like, "What do I do? She won't take a bottle!" and, after some back and forth, we finally decided I needed to come home (and for Scott to agree to that says a lot - he does NOT give up!!).  Thank god I wasn't drunk (I did have a couple several hours earlier, but was not impaired, unless you count my COMPLETE exhaustion) - but it was an hour and a half drive and, man, I am just glad I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. In hindsight I probably should have just stayed and let her cry with him as one night away from mommy is certainly better than no mommy!! But...yeah.  I'm in the same camp mama.  I love these babies so much - honestly, they are the cutest things ever - but holy crap, the nighttime shenanigans are getting to me.  I literally drink a pot of coffee every morning.  I joke that my breast milk is a mixture of coffee and wine, which also might explain a few things but, whatever. I gotta keep on keeping on and those are my poisons.  Sue me.

Naps are here and there.  Some days they are 2 hours, some days they are 25 minutes.  No rhyme or reason.  It's insane.  I literally want to call Dr. Wiessbluth and be like, 'LISTEN A-HOLE!! IT'S NOT EFFING WORKING!! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND SET THIS S*** RIGHT!"  The fact that he is actually Chicago based is tempting, but booking an appointment with him requires time and energy I just don't have.  

We, too, started solids.  This morning in fact.  It did not go well.  I think Haven's tongue is too big for her mouth, like, for real.  It's just always...there.  This certainly didn't help the whole "eating with a spoon" thing.  (note: Google 'baby with tongue too big for mouth') Nothing that went in, stayed in.  It's amazing, I feel like Isla came into this world knowing exactly what to do.  She just got it. I never remember anything being hard with her, motherhood was a total cake walk with her and with these two? I am like a deer in the headlights sometimes. The Universe is all "Welcome to motherhood!! You don't know squat!" It's pretty humbling.

But, not to be a total Debbie Downer, yes - days are awesome, the babies are seriously too chewable and adorable for words and if they were just sleeping through the night everything would be infinitely better.  What I wouldn't do for a solid 5 hour chunk.  Good grief.  Maybe all this means they will be awesome children from here on out?  Is that possible we're just paying our dues on the front end?  Haha - here's hoping.  In the mean time, lets start an army against smug twin moms who are all "yeah, my babies were sleeping 7pm-7am at eight weeks and taking three two-hour naps in the day".  Those women are robots and should be eradicated.  Their babies will be meth heads.

Okay.  Going to drink some coffee.  Last night was a long one and right now ALL the babies are sleeping so I have probably 30 more seconds of 'me' time ;).  Hang in there mama. I just try to remember that this is such a small period in our lives and to try my best to be present.  We're learning important lessons here.  Not sure what they are at the moment, but I think by the end of this year I will have more patience than a Buddhist monk, so there's that.

Love.  Sleep.  and SOME semblance of a schedule to your day!

xo
Brittany

Haven on the left, Mira on the right.  Love bugs!

Enjoy this series? Check out my other posts:

Notes from the (Twin) Trenches (48hours in)
More Notes from the Twin Trenches (2+ weeks in)
Breastfeeding Twins: A Delicate Balance (notes on successfully establishing breastfeeding)
Notes from the Twin Trenches: Three Weeks In
Letter from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another (4 weeks: letter to a fellow twin mama)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another  (1 month in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: A Bad Week (6 weeks in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In
Notes from the Twin Trenches: "This, too, Shall Pass" (three months in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Four Months In (Out of trenches? Not quite)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Six Months In
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Eight Months In

Letters from the Twin Trenches: 4 Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

July 10, 2014

Hey there mama.

Picture this:  me, at the computer, glasses all crooked and smudged, hair akin to a rat's nest, yesterdays breast-milk stained tank top on, cold coffee (cup #3) at my side and eyes that have bags under them the size of texas.  I haven't showered in two days.  My teeth are still unbrushed and it is noon.

It's been that kind of week.

Last week I didn't write back because it was all peaches and cream over here.  Girls napping in 1.5 hour stretches, night sleeps lasting 6-8 hours, bedtime happening before 7pm.  It was too good to be true and I didn't want to jinx it or - worse - gloat about my twin triumphs if you were still struggling.  Plus, I know better than to count on the good days because we both know that there is always a twinado on the horizon, just waiting to throw our worlds into a tailspin.

Man, I get a little dramatic when I am sleep deprived, don't I? (face palm)

So, the good news is the girls turned 4 months and are both doing awesome.  Growing well.  Haven is tracking like a 5 month old (trying to stand, crawl, super strong...etc) and Mira is tracking like a normal  4 month old (rolling over, holding head up during tummy time...etc) and even jumped up from the 12th to the 20th percentile!! Whoot whoot!! So that is all good stuff.  Both girls are all smiles these days as well, which is awesome too but....BUT....ever since that fateful 4 month appointment we have entered some sort of sleep regression where I am up every 1.5 - 2 hours with one or the other.  This translates into very little sleep of the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" variety.  They are back doing the grunting thing which, as you well know, is my version of fingernails on a chalk board.  When that grunting starts good grief, look out.  The gas is back.  Not sure what I have eaten this week to make them so uncomfortable but both of them are tooting MACHINES.  I am telling you, their farts could power a turbine engine.  Haven will escalate so quickly into cries - nay - SCREAMS of discomfort, which - of course - wake the whole house.  Two nights in a row my mom or Scott have come into the room terrified they would find me sticking her with a needle or beating the crap out of her - THAT is how loudly and intensely this child screams.  The only thing that will quiet her is the boob, though I do TRY to massage the gas out with only moderate success.  Then, just as I get her quiet and sleeping again, Mira will start to stir (thank god with no where *near* the intensity of her sister - I could not handle that cry in surround sound).  It is seriously like a joke and sometimes in the middle of the night I am moved to fits of maniacal laughter at the absurdity of it all.  Real life whack-a-mole.  I read some twin mom describe the first year with twins in this regard and it is SO true.  Throw a two year old in the mix and you have a recipe for absurdity fit for a Pinter play (sorry if you don't get the reference, I was in theater). Whack. A. Mole.  Just trying to stay on top of it all is a full-time job.  #captainobvious  My mother's helper, Linda, is a god-send and I honestly don't know what I would do without her.  She is SUCH a big help.  We divide and conquer.

Okay, enough of the woe is me crap, hopefully whatever I ate that is causing this will get out of my system and I can go back to sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time again...but for now, we wait...

I'm so happy you discovered a car trick!!! Windows down does it, eh?  We have not taken them on a ride in the car for anything more than a pediatrician appointment as of late (last 45 minute trip into the city just about did me and my mom in) but when we do, I will try that. Once, on the way back from a wedding when they were screaming in unison, Scott, Isla and I discovered we could *kind of* quiet them if we all just pretended to cry too. "Can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality. Haha.  I like the window trick better!  And, again, mad props to you for getting out on the boat with those little fish.  Seriously, that is some kind of crazy (and all sorts of awesome) that they sleep better on the boat than at home.  We've never overnighted on a boat with ours, but one day.  Soon (more on this...BVI tickets are booked!).  

Scott is doing the Mac Race next week with my dad (and others), which makes me insanely jealous.  The "plan" was to drive up to the Island with all the girls but we thought a little more on that and decided against it because - honestly - it sounded like a logistical nightmare and driving 8 hours with three babies terrifies me. Sailing with them doesn't bother me in the least, but a car trip?  Fuhgetaboutit. So we are going to cruise my dad's boat later (some time in August) from Chicago to Southwest Michigan (my fave) where we will only have to drive for 45 minutes with them to get to the boat ;)  BIIIIIIIG difference and potential sanity-saver.

Okay, gotta run.  I am going to *try* for a blog post today, but I might just step outside and enjoy the sun.  We will see!  Hope things are going well in your camp.  Sending wishes for long sleep stretches and fewer crying outbursts.  Speaking of, how is Annelise doing (she was the one who was crying so much she was choking, right?)  Any news on that?  And how is you mom doing in the daytimes with them while you are working?  Does she find it crazy challenging or has she taken to it like a duck to water?

xo

Brittany

PS.  Not sure if you saw the mom of twelve (TWELVE!?!?!) who recently posted in the twin forum we are in, but her twins were her second to last kids and she said that NOTHING could have prepared her for the challenge of two at once.  Nothing. She had NINE kids before them.  #validation #twinsarenojoke

Enjoy this series? Check out my other posts: 

Notes from the (Twin) Trenches (48hours in)
More Notes from the Twin Trenches (2+ weeks in)
Breastfeeding Twins: A Delicate Balance (notes on successfully establishing breastfeeding)
Notes from the Twin Trenches: Three Weeks In
Letter from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another (4 weeks: letter to a fellow twin mama)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: From One M.o.M to Another  (1 month in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: A Bad Week (6 weeks in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In
Notes from the Twin Trenches: "This, too, Shall Pass" (three months in)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Four Months In (Out of trenches? Not quite)
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Six Months In
Letters from the Twin Trenches: Eight Months In

Thoughts on Land-Life, "Re-Entry" and Adaptability

We have been landlubbers now for eight months.  Eight months.  Two hundred and forty-four days ago we packed up our boat and moved back stateside to await the birth of our twins. Time flies when you're havin' babies (yes, plural).  I realize I am pointing out the blatantly obvious when I say that the cruising community is pretty impermanent.  Most people do not cruise indefinitely and many have very distinct dates for their sailing sabbaticals, be it a year or more.  The point is:  the life aquatic, for the vast majority, comes to an end for one reason or another and people move back to (dun-dun-dun): land.  This is often referred to as "re-entry".  For some, this is an incredibly difficult time fraught with feelings of displacement, sadness and confusion, for others - it's time to...well... yuck it up, refill the kitty and enjoy the many perks that land affords.

So...how have we 'adjusted' to life as landlubbers?

Pretty seamlessly, thankyouverymuch.  I mean, this is land we're talking about, not prison.  There are as many benefits/advantages/plusses to a life ashore as there are a life afloat - they are just different.  It's all about perspective and how well you adapt to the situation at hand.  It doesn't hurt that we have some pretty incredible friends and family around us as well...

Scott and I have both been fairly transient in our lives from relatively young ages.  We are pretty adaptable.  I'm not sure if this attribute is the result of or the reason for our wayward tendencies - but I have learned that adaptability might be the single-most important trait for the gypsy soul, and maybe even life in general.  After all, it was Charles Darwin, the foremost authority on adaptability, who declared: "It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change".  He was right.  The ability to become accustomed to new conditions is not only helpful when traveling, but also when coming home....and, come to think of it, when getting married, starting a new job, moving house, and - er - having twins, to name a few.

I must admit, by no means has this transition to "landlubber" (and, more specifically) "mom of three" been effortless and smooth.  There is a very, very large part of me that longs for the cruising life again and when I scroll through my photos of the last few years (man did I take some awesome pictures!) I am overcome with nostalgia.  On the "mom" front, I have had my fair share of mini meltdowns (and one big one that might possibly have shared a spot with "mental breakdown" in the ven diagram of emotional health) as the result of going from one child to three over night.  But I also strive to enjoy the here and now.  And the here and now is pretty dang good.  We are surrounded by family and friends, it's summertime, and we're taking advantage and enjoying all the "perks" (of which there are many) that land life affords.  We've enjoyed going out to eat with friends and spent quality time with loved ones. We've basked in modern conveniences like refrigeration, an endless supply of running water, stand up showers, well-appointed grocery stores, take-out food, comfy beds and the luxury of having a vehicle at our disposal.  We've gone to concerts, gotten good and quaffed at tailgates and barbecues, and lounged pool side.  All of these things have made life pretty grand for the time being, and having lived without many of these conveniences, we have a marked appreciation for them.  (Particularly the DVR and ability to catch up on our favorite show Modern Family.)

More than anything, however, being home has been a necessity thanks to operation "family supersize", and big changes are sometimes more palatable when you don't really have much of a choice.

The past four months since the twins' birth, while wonderful, have not been without difficulty.  The sleepless nights, the frustration, the exhaustion, the non-stop "I-don't-sit-down-all-day-and-don't-brush-my-teeth-until-evening" reality that is three children under the age of three have been... rough.  I cannot even IMAGINE how we would have survived the "twin trenches" on a boat without any help.  I'm sure it would have been possible, but not pleasant.  Nope.  Being home has been fantastic in this regard, and I for one greatly appreciate this time immensely (namely: my mother, have I mentioned she is a saint?)

This hiatus has also afforded Scott the time to indulge in his passion of real estate, and in a matter of weeks after returning home he got his license and was up and running like a regular Phil Dunphy.  He's got several active listings, a property that he is going to "flip" and we even have a rental on our radar so (fingers crossed) we'll be heading back to the boat with a little cash in the kitty.  And Isla?  Little Miss Isla is thriving.  She loves her friends, the parks, the museums, the play dates, exploring in the backyard, walks with grandma, mornings with grandpa...She hasn't missed a beat.  Kids wrote the book on adaptability and she is no exception.

Of course I miss the boat.  Of course I miss cruising.  But I know that living in the past prohibits us from moving toward a future.  When I look at pictures of our friends who are still "out there", I don't feel the least bit jealous or envious (well, okay, these guys make me a *little* jealous) because having lived the life of a cruiser,  I also know that there is a flip side to those images and it's not all palm trees and beautiful beaches out there.  Not to mention the thought of sailing through a squall/doing boat work/provisioning ashore/fixing broken stuff/sweating in the hot summer sun without AC...etc. with three babies right now does NOT sound appealing.

So, while we haven't put down any roots, we'll enjoy the view from our happy little nook in suburbia for a while longer.  Now that we have re-entered and adapted (and summer has arrived), it's not so bad.  In fact, it's downright enjoyable.  Change is good, for now.

The sea can wait, at least until winter returns ;).

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Three Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

June 5th, 2014

I am home alone, the house is quiet.  It is 7:30pm.  I am drinking wine (only glass number one, which is good).

SIIIIGGGH.

As you might have seen from my most recent blog post, it had been a tough couple of days.  But today is a new day, and so far - so good. 

I am very glad to hear you didn't lose your breast milk in the "great thaw".  That would seriously be awful.  Ugh.  All that work pumping and for nothing.  It's so true what they say: that s**t is liquid GOLD.  

And I am beyond impressed at your boating weekend adventures.  That is so fantastic that you get out and spend some overnights on the boat and it works out well.  Most first time moms would not attempt such an escapade - let alone a mom of twins - so you deserve some major accolades for venturing out like that.  Scott and I are very mindful to do things as "minimally" as possible so that we can have that sort of mobility as well.  We don't travel with a pack-n-play, we don't bring an arsenal of toys for Isla, we try very hard to travel "light" (although that phrase is downright laughable when you have three kids).  Even with our pared down essentials we have a car load of crap.  Oh, and I'm addicted to baby wearing so I have, like, eight different wraps that we can use with the girls including a toddler sized carrier for Isla.  So I guess it's all relative.  

And hooray for monitors!! That's great you could hang with the adults on the dock once you put the girls to bed (I told you, Pisces love the water and they will be drawn to it so of course they slept better on the boat!!).  We have a pretty strict 6-7pm bedtime window for all of our girls and WOW- it is so nice to have our evenings back.  We can actually make dinner plans knowing the babies won't wake for a feeding until between 10:30 and 11:30 which is awesome.  Whether or not I have the energy for those plans is another thing...but, usually, I rally.  The promise of wine will do that to a girl like me.

As for the sleep thing.  UGH.  I know what you mean.  It is so frustrating, and infinitely so with two.  We follow all the advice in the books; namely not letting them stay awake longer than 2 hours before putting them down for a nap - but then what the hell does the book say if the nap is only 40, 30, or (the WORST) 15 minutes?!?! Nada.  I feel your pain on this front and I'm sorry you're struggling.  As for how we get them down, we have these things called "lovies" that some friends sent us (snuggly small animal blankets) - those things are their "bedtime cue".  I lay them down in the crib, put them on their sides (and sometimes even on their tummies, Mira loves tummy sleeping - and, yes, I know it's a big no no) we put the "lovies" in their arms, close to their faces and then pop their binkies in their mouths.  They nuzzle up to the lovies and, on good days, fall asleep (unassisted) within minutes.  Of course not all days are good days, in fact most are not - and in that case, I leave the room.  I let them fuss/cry a little, then I go back in, replace the binkies, stroke their noses to help them close their eyes, flip them over or re-position them, and then I wait.  Sometimes it takes me 30 minutes to get them both sleeping and I am burning mad calories running up and down the stairs here.  

Almost ALWAYS one of them falls asleep without issue, so then I freak out about the other going to sleep within 20 minutes of the other for the sake of the "SCHEDULE"....if nothing is working and she is not sleeping, that is when I resort to the moby wrap and I put the offending baby in that which basically guarantees coma-like sleep until the other one will wake up.  I have not let them "cry it out" - but I will let them fuss and protest for a few minutes before I go back and try to get them to sleep again.  It's exhausting and my life pretty much revolves around this behavior of running up the stairs, stroking noses, and sticking binkies back in mouths in an effort to get the babies to sleep every ninety minutes to two hours.  I watch the clock like a hawk and make sure their last "nap" ends within an hour and a half of 6:30 (bedtime) so that they are tired and fall asleep.  Evenings are actually much better than naps (most days...not all) - and they will both fall asleep pretty easily at night within 30 minutes of each other and then Haven wakes up for food (and I wake Mira up still too) around 10:30/11.  Sometimes I can get her to go another hour if I bring her in bed with me, so I do that too.  Mira (our little one) is our better sleeper in general - but she, like your Annalise, is small and just completely feels like a wet noodle compared to Haven whom we refer to as "the beast" (she probably will not take kindly to that nick name later in life I am guessing).  But according to our pediatrician, both girls are "normal" and following their "curves" so that is good.  You can't really ask for more than healthy babies, right?

That is so great that your girls will do a seven hour stretch here and there...sigh...that must be amazing (stops.  guzzles wine.) I CANNOT wait until my girls will go six hours or longer!! I never had to let Isla cry it out, and she didn't sleep through the night (twelve hours) until a year old (but went to bed easily, napped well and only woke up for one tiny feeding session, so it never bothered me) but I don't think I can wait that long with these two.  We shall see...I am just hoping to catch that "next carrot" of the four month milestone when more "magic" happens (what that is, exactly, I do not know - but lots of people throw that number out there).  But, hey, what do we have if we don't have hope?...oh yeah, awesome, adorable, cute, cuddly babies.  And thank you for complimenting their rolls (well, Haven's at least, Mira is a string bean) - I love baby rolls too.  And wow, the smiles and coos that these girls give me are SO awesome.  Isla never really did that.  She was such a serious baby, it was like pulling teeth to get her to smile and you can forget about a cute little baby chit-chat.  Nope.  She was way too busy taking it all in and planning world domination.  These babies though?  They are so social and just smile and coo with ease.  It's awesome and for sure the Universe's way of making the bad days more bearable, of that I am certain.

I love that your mom has been enlisted as the sleep enforcer.  What an awesome trooper she is.  And to have made a sleep graph?  Well...I think you have your bases covered and struck gold with that one.  Something tells me she will work.  If she's making charts, she takes it seriously and she'll make it happen.  That is awesome to have someone in your camp that "gets it". Yay for your mom!  As for your running out of breast milk and not being able to keep up - you have done an AWESOME job.  There is NO SHAME in supplementing with formula or stopping the pumping game all together.  I honestly tip my hat to working moms who pump.  That is SO hard to do and SUCH a pain in the butt.  People look at me and are all "way to go with breastfeeding" and I think to myself, "I got the easy gig!!"... It's the working moms who pump that deserve the high five! So, really, high five to you. You are an awesome mom.  You do what you gotta do girl.  I'm so impressed with how well you are doing as a first time working mom with twins.

I'm glad that work is going well and keeping you off neurotic internet searching - or at least curbing it.  I, too, am not researching doom and gloom as much as I used to, though I do pop onto the Mom of Multiples Facebook groups during late night nursing sessions which I think I need to stop doing.  Today a new mom who's babies are five months or something asked "what was the hardest stage for your twins?" and everyone was all, "Oh man, the baby stage is a PIECE OF CAKE compared to later!!" and I pretty much wanted to cry.  And then I wanted to punch everyone who mocked us moms of twinfants saying that we'd better enjoy them as babies because it gets SO. MUCH. WORSE. when they are toddlers.  I mean, come ON.  I am thinking about starting a blog entitled "people I want to punch in the face" (the twins have clearly brought out my aggressive, scrappy side) and the first on that list will be moms who smuggly tell me that the baby stage is "soooo easy".  I mean, shoot me.

Okay, I'm finishing my second glass of wine and moving onto number three and I think I might even lay on the couch and watch some Portlandia.  Do you watch that show?  If not - start recording it.  It. Is. Brilliant.  I want to be best friends will Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein.  They are comedic brilliance.  Possibly the best comedy due since Abbot and Costello.

Much love to you.  SO much love.

Brittany

Notes from the Twin Trenches: "This Too, Shall Pass"

I officially know too much.  

I have over-educated myself on the importance of sleep for infants and, thus, it has in turn made me a neurotic sleep nazi who's mood is in direct correlation with the number of hours my babies sleep through the day.  This is not a fun way to live.

"Oh, let them be.  They'll sleep when they want to sleep.  You can't force them" you say.

Luckily you are not saying this to my face, or else I might have to punch you.  Like, for real.

That laissez faire approach might work for one child, but when you have two infants (and a two year old) to contend with, letting the babies "lead the way" is just not feasible unless you have the time (or the extra hands) to constantly be at one child or another's beck and call.  Following this logic, my day might look something like this:  Child "A" gets up for the day, child "B" remains asleep.  Child "C" gets up, child "A" needs feeding.  Chid "B" wakes up, while child "C" goes down.  Child "A" needs a nap, child "C" needs feeding.  Child "A" is waking up, child "B" is hungry. Child "C" wants to play, child "A" is hungry again.  Child "A" needs nap #2, and child "C" needs a diaper changed.  Child "B" needs nap #2, and child "A" is just getting up.  And so it goes...  This type of schedule (or lack thereof) allows for zero down time and you can forget about getting out of the house or accomplishing anything like, say, taking a shower or running a comb through your hair.  I'm sure some mom's of multiples have done the "baby led" way, but the ones who I have been speaking to and reading about swear by one thing and one thing only:  get the twins on the same schedule.  According to fellow MoMs, it's the only way to maintain one's sanity.

But this is much easier said than done.

And, yes, I am referring to both getting them on a schedule and maintaining one's sanity.

Because the fact is that twin sleep scheduling is not for the weak hearted.  First of all, twins are different people and not just a convenient pair that do everything in tandem.  While some lucky moms have kids who just seem to fall into these patterns naturally (I secretly hate these moms..well not really, but sort of), most twins have to be taught how to do this.  Our girls are fraternal and have completely different personalities, temperaments, appetites and sleep needs.  So is it even possible to get them on the same schedule you ask? According to the experts (and fellow MoM's who have been down this road before me), yes, all children - even fraternal twins - can learn how to sleep and can be taught how to keep a (relatively) similar schedule.  It just takes work.  A heck of a lot of work.  And an equal amount of time, tons of selfless dedication (right now my life more or less revolves around their sleep needs), and an ungodly amount of patience.

I'm not there yet, but the many sacrifices I am making (mentally, physically, emotionally) in this relatively short time period now will hopefully result in well rested, happy children who go about their days with some predictability in the months and years to come.  This is what "they" tell me, at least.  I am growing skeptical, but keep reminding myself that we did this with Isla and, after a lot of work and effort, everything "clicked" and it worked (and still works) like a charm.

Don't get me wrong, there are days when I see my efforts paying off (for the record, I follow the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" approach).  On those days, the girls go down for their morning nap with ease and sleep anywhere from one to two hours.  They take subsequent naps every two hours throughout the day, and fall asleep unassisted within mere minutes of each other.  I get to shower and might even put on something cute.  On the good days, I put our girls down for bed at 6:30pm and they sleep, peacefully and without protest, until 11:30 or later.  Night feedings are simple, straightforward and result in two full babies who go right back to bed for three (or maybe even four or five) hours. I actually get to lay down in bed and might even catch an REM cycle or two.  On the 'good' days, the babies are mostly happy, content and - of course - well rested.  The 'good' days are when I feel like a boss mom.  When I can say with gusto "I got this!"

Then there are the other days.

The evenings where one or - God forbid - both are gassy and screaming in their crib.  The days where I soothe one and an instant later, the other is up and flailing.  The nights where I get no more than two hours of sleep at a time because one baby (usually Haven), squirms and grunts for hours and hours.   The nights when I wake up to one baby's cry and look at the clock to see that only one measly hour has passed since the last feeding. The times when one child goes down for her nap, while the other protests for that entire nap's duration.  The moments when I cry in exhaustion right along with the babies, hoping for a break and asking the Universe for more grace and patience (because I am running on reserves some days)....when I lament, "If it was just one baby, this would be so easy!"...the nights when I read a mom complain about her single infant on Facebook and want to scream at the top of my lungs.  These are the days when I am put to the test.

They say that everyone comes into your life for a reason; to teach you a lesson, to show you something about yourself so that you can grow to become a better person.  I'm talking about the challenging people too: when we find fault in others, dislike someone, or are frustrated with another - we're supposed to look inward.  "Why does this person bother me and why am I giving them the power to do so?" (perhaps they are right about something and I am in denial?) "What, exactly, don't I like about this person and what does that say about me?" (perhaps I don't like in them what I don't like in myself?) "What am I getting frustrated about and why?" (maybe I am reminded of another situation that hurt me in the past?) Usually, you will find that the problem lies within you.  Everyone who comes into our life acts as a mirror for ourselves.  Sometimes we like what we see sometimes we don't.  It's tackling the stuff that's hard to admit and difficult to look at where we stand to learn and grow the most.  Of course, this is not easy.  It's much more convenient to lay blame outside of ourselves where we can push the real issue away.  But then that's taking easy road.  Real growth takes work and some serious self-evaluation.

Where am I going with this?  I think the Universe gave me twins for a reason.  I'm not sure exactly what that reason is yet, and maybe I never will.  But I know one thing, Haven and Mira are teaching me a ton.  About patience (I need more), about flexibility (I need lots more), about expectations (I need fewer), about control (hahaha!!!) and about myself (I have a lot to work on).  I'm doing my best and - on the good days - I feel awesome.  Like a supermom even.  But on the bad days I feel like the very worst version of myself; grumpy, tired, frustrated, snippy, angry, bitchy, impatient and stressed.  I don't like who I become and I don't like how I treat the people around me.  I need to take a chill pill.

But I also need to give myself a break.  I am sleep deprived, I am human and I am flawed.  I am doing my best for our babies (and what beautiful, wonderful, awesome babies they are - don't get me wrong!).  I have to remind myself that this is a gift and we are blessed beyond belief to have three healthy children.  I have to remind myself to take the bad days with the good and that for every two steps I take forward, there will inevitably be one step back.  It's the nature of child-rearing.  It's also the most important, difficult and rewarding job that those of us who chose to do it will ever do.  That's a tall order.

I have to let go and take a deep breath and remember that "this too, shall pass".

In the meantime, there is wine.  Lots and lots of wine.

Letters from the Twin Trenches: Two Months In

Back story to our "Letters from the Twin Trenches" series...When we were in the BVI's we met up with some blog followers.  They were young, fun and we enjoyed hanging out with them (and the left over provisions they gave us from their charter when they flew home the next day).  Fast forward to months later when I announced our twin pregnancy on the blog...  Imagine my surprise when I got an email from Kimberly telling me that she, too, was pregnant with twins and only a week ahead of me.  "Must have been something in those painkillers!" she wrote... And so began a pretty incredible and prolific E-pal friendship chronicling our respective pregnancies and birth stories that continues to this day.  Her beautiful fraternal twin girls were born (full term) two weeks before ours and I have to tell you, sharing our (eerily similar) journeys via email has been very cathartic for me.  Solidarity.  If there is one thing you need as a parent of twins it's community.  We need to know we are not alone when it seems our sanity is teetering on the brink, which it will do from time to time when there are two newborns in the house.  Particularly if those newborns are screaming in unison.  These are some letters to her...they tell it like it is.  The good, the bad, the ugly...

May 4, 2014

So happy you have such a sweet work gig to go back to and that is FANTASTIC that your mom will provide care for the girls. I think it's so great for them to have close relationships with grandparents. Isla and my mom are so ridiculously close...a less secure momma might get jealous of their relationship, but I know it is nothing but good for the both of them. That will be fantastic for you. There is nothing like family in close proximity during these early months.  Hip hip, hooray for you. And to work from home some days as well? You will get the best of both worlds right there! My best friend has the same sort of gig (loves her job, works from home part-time) and really enjoys the work/life balance (aka: having a few days during the week where she can actually speak "adult"). It's why I love writing; during those few hours I actually get to use my brain and feel productive (though it's hardly lucrative...wah, wah).

Congrats on the stroller as well! Mine has saved my life. I get out at least once a day with all the girls and it's AWESOME. I put those cozy car seat cover thingies in the seats so the babies are completely reclined, all cozied up and usually fall fast asleep - and, well, Isla loves sitting on her "throne" and saying "hi!" to everyone we pass. It's so nice to get out. Enjoy it. I recommend using it daily for your sanity and health (weather permitting of course).

So your babies are actually legit labeled COLICKY!?!? Oh my. I have nothing to say but sorry. That sucks. Haven is enough for me - though she is a thousand times better than she was...in fact, she is turning into quite the sweet heart. She is still pretty "intense" compared to Mira's "mellow" - and her screams are still impressive in their severity - but I can put her down now and she doesn't pitch a fit. Hoping we continue on this trajectory.  I had horrible visions of toddler tantrums that would make me "that" mom who cannot control her kid - which, lets face it - we will all be at one time or another. Hopefully not regularly though (wince). Time will tell. I already bribe Isla with food and "special treats" (what else can I do when I literally do not have a hand free and I am desperate for her not to jump off the table, eat an ant, walk outside, drink my coffee...etc?). But man, to hear her adorable little voice ask, "Special treat mommy?" after it has been promised (her memory is GOOD!) and then to have her lay her sweet puppy dog eyes on me?  Well, it's kind of hard to say "no".  File that under the hashtag #thingsIsworeIwouldnotdo.  The list will continue to grow, I am sure.  Anyway....

We are doing REALLY well (aaaaand BAM!! jinx just happened....). The girls are totally falling into a eat, play, sleep pattern and daytime naps are happening with some regularity (the girls are awake no more than two hours at a time, usually just an hour twenty to be exact - more on this in a sec....). Annnnd the naps are happening (semi) successfully in their Rock n' Play Sleepers which means I am officially up off the couch in the daytime! I am now more able to do things like brush my teeth, change my clothes, go to the bathroom and perform other duties of basic hygiene that most people without newborn twins take for granted (haha!). There are still times I will "wear" one or both in the Moby wrap if they are fussing and I get desperate, and usually one nap a day happens in the stroller (love your term "junk sleep"), but for the most part - we're continuing to find a nice little groove and I have not had a breakdown or shed tears in almost two whole weeks, which - as you know, is an eternity in 'twin time'. I love the sleep schedule. I seriously do not know how people do without it. Speaking of anal-to-the-point-of-OCD organization, I got the most AMAZING baby app!! It's called "Baby Connect" and it has been a lifesaver in tracking the girls feedings, diaper changes and naps. I used to write it all down in a book but that annoyed me and wasn't ideal (not to mention it was hard to write in the dark!) - and this app is great at tracking everything so easily so that you can see patterns emerge with graphs, charts and what not. I love it. It was recommended to me by a fellow twin mom and I am passing it on to you...I think you will love it too.

As for nighttime sleep, it's still happening on me on the nursing pillow but I am embracing it and kind of love it to be honest. I am actually quite comfy now - I learned that if I just leave all the pillows behind me (throw pillows and all) I can just lay back and sink into coziness when they are finished nursing. It's painless and we're all pretty well rested these days. I don't even wake Scott up anymore.  My "bedtime routine" is hilarious.  I  guzzle two glasses of water and then gather all my nighttime gadgets:  my iPhone, glasses, gas drops, pacifiers, a burp cloth, Kindle, another glass of water and two diapers, and lay them around me in the bed so that I don't need to get up for anything.  How's that for an office?  I'll give the crib a go again in a few weeks, but for now - this works and I am telling myself that it's promoting "bonding" rather than "bad sleep habits" ;).  #thingswetellourselvestomakeitokay

Glad to hear you have found some other twin moms in your 'hood, too bad there isn't an exclusive multiple mom group. There are loads around here (or so I am told) and I have been invited to a couple from other MoMs but haven't made the jump yet...some people are shocked to know that I can actually be a little bit shy and a tad bit anti-social. Most would never guess that after meeting me, but it's my dirty little secret and why I love writing.  I think I will go check out a local chapter soon and I'm looking forward to meeting some other MoM's.  If I get as much out of the physical groupls as I do the online groups, well, it will be worth it. How much do you love reading through those multiple forums late night? Or is that just me?

The biggest news: I found my Mary Poppins! She is awesome. I am huge into "signs" and all that jazz and the day she came over to be interviewed, Isla had dug out this picture book on South Africa and brought it in the living room. I never even knew this book existed but there it sat on the coffee table. When Linda came in, we're all "tell us about yourself" (I mean, what else do you ask?) and she's like, "Well, I am from South Africa...." I was like: "STOP THE PRESS!! What?!?!" and showed her the book which was right under her nose.  We were all a flutter over that (she's a sign person too) and we launched into excited talks about Africa, life and all that good stuff.  As if that's not enough, we share the exact same birthday (happy belated by the way!!) and she has a two year old just a few days younger than Isla who she will be bringing once a week for a play date. She is super cool, intelligent, neat, and fun - and when she looked at the twins, they immediately beamed at her. Huge grins. That was all I needed. My little fish have good instincts and I trust them ;).  She'll be coming 3-4 days a week to to help me out while Scott is at work and free up some time for me so I can write, run errands and all spend some quality time with Isla. I am so excited. I think we'll actually end up being friends on top of it, and who doesn't love making new friends?

Okay - gotta run. Isla is up from her nap and full-on chatting to her baby dolls in her bed. She just said something about "put the ice cream back in the cone" (she has never had an ice cream cone, btw) and "go away!" and she just told them "I'm going to St. Maarten on the airplane today, going to pack my bags..." so I'm pretty sure those dolls have come to life and they're fixing to skip town. If only I had a video monitor.

Okay - sending love!!!

Brittany

ps. She is now singing "The Wheels on the Bus" with gusto but with each verse she is switching what goes round and round "the diaper on the bus...the mommy on the bus....the Mira on the bus....the Haven on the bus"...and so on. Man, I love this kid.

Find more "Letters from the Trenches" and other resources for twin mom's on our "TWINSANITY" page.