A Mother's Day Mini-Vacation in Maho Bay and a Nostalgic Awakening

"What do you want for mother's day?" Scott asked me while looking up from his computer. I was making breakfast, the girls were being their usual boisterous selves, and it took me about .02 seconds to reply, "Go to St. John for a night and have brunch in Cruz Bay!" St. John, while part of the United States Virgin Islands (USVI), is a short sail from where we are, and with the blissful haze of our last >>>quick getaway<<< fresh on my mind I was thirsty for more...so thirsty, apparently, that one night away turned into four...

We Bought a New Boat: But Why? The Method Behind our Madness (and a photo tour!)

"This boat is going to change our lives!" I exclaimed as we stepped on board the Tayana 48 that we would put an offer on less than 12 hours later.  Scott looked at me with wide eyes, "Um, I think you're putting a lot of pressure on this boat..." he started tentatively. While, yes, I probably was putting an undue amount of weight on the effect of a boat on our life, but I truly stood by what I said and I repeated myself: "Scott, this boat is literally going to change. our. life." He shrugged and shook his head as we continued lifting up floorboards and digging through cupboards.

But I knew it: this was the one.

I'd been eyeing her on Yachtworld for about five months and looked at the listing no fewer than 200 times, memorizing the specs and committing to memory every square inch of her.

She was absolutely beautiful, checked off just about every item on our "wish list" (more on this later) and, gosh darn it, she was going to change life as we knew it. I could feel it.

***

The bottom line is this: while Asante was working for us, she wasn't really working for us. Because of our two cabin configuration, and the fact that Isla slept more or less in the main cabin (on a make shift bunk that is smaller than a toddler bed) meant that once bedtime hit at 7:30pm, our boat was in shut-down mode. At anchor this arrangement was better - as our cockpit became a veritable outdoor living room and extension of our home. However, at the dock the cockpit simply does not get utilized as much due to the fact that a) there is a remarkable lack of breeze at our marina and b) being so close to your neighbor doesn't have quite the same appeal as sitting on deck being surrounded by open water. "Something about being in a marina makes a boat feel smaller" my friend Carly wrote as we chatted about it. And I 100% agreed. It most certainly does make a boat feel smaller....And since we will be living aboard at a marina for the foreseeable future, something needed to change. Not being able to cook, converse or do pretty much anything other than whisper and go our separate ways was taking its toll on our life in more ways than one.

Scott and I are what I like to call a "perfectly imperfect" pair. Okay, fine, we're downright volatile at times (I mentioned how I'd be honesty bombing you, right?) Don't get me wrong, we are an amazing team in both boating and parenting and we can accomplish a lot more together than alone, but our union is far from perfect which may or may not surprise you. Part of this is due to conflicting personalities and stubborn natures, part of it is simply this "season of life"...The last two years have found us drifting farther and farther apart. With three kids, two of them being twins, and the purchase of a new business, we have both been up to our eyeballs in everything but each other. I tend to the kids and housework, Scott runs our business. For the most part, we pass like ships in the night and can go days without really speaking about anything other than work or kids. We have not had a "date night" in years.

What is the point of me telling you all this? Well, we needed a change and we figured, why not buy another boat to fix our problems? Ha! Just kidding, that was not our thought process at all. BUT...we did have some serious discussions about our future, we both made a commitment to work on our marriage by carving out some together time and we both decided that, yes, a bigger boat *might just* give us the space to be a little more comfortable, provide the means for a little more quality time, and allow us more privacy together. Running a business and raising three very boisterous young daughters in a two-bedroom boat was getting tight at best, stressful at worst - and more breathing room was in order.

***

"What do you think about flying to the east coast for a day to look at that boat I sent to you earlier?" I asked Scott over Whatsapp one day this summer while we were home at my mom's house. To my great surprise, he replied "Sure" (Scott is for sure the more pragmatic of our duo). And so it was; we had a 48 hour window between us coming home from Michigan and Scott heading back to Tortola to make it happen. It was rushed, it was nuts, but we did it and with Isla in tow (you have never seen a little kid more excited about getting her own "big girl room"!). We covered three states and saw four boats in less than 24 hours. The Tayana 48 - the one that I knew was 'it' and the one I was certain would shine above the others - was last to be seen.

When stepped aboard s/v Legato on that gray, overcast day in Connecticut it just felt right. Excitement swelled up in my belly and I took a quick deep breath to keep it at bay. "Don't fall in love, don't fall in love, don't fall in love" I kept telling myself, "Asante could definitely work for one more season if this isn't the one...Do. Not. Fall. In.  Love. With. This. Boat." But, as we all know, matters of the heart are simply not controlled with the head (oh, if only it were that easy!) We both knew it, though. I don't dare say she was "perfect" but she was pretty dang close. She felt instantly like 'home'. I found it no coincidence that a copy of one of my all-time favorite books, "Don't Stop the Carnival", happened to be laying on what would soon become my side of the bed.

***

The next morning as we were rushing out of our hotel to catch our flight home, I got a call from our broker (and longtime friend), Allen Schiller (best. broker. ever), letting us know that if we wanted the boat, we needed to move fast. One offer had come in and been denied earlier in the week, and another couple had a second viewing right after we did and were most likely putting together an offer as well. My gut told me she was going to go, and she was going to go quickly.  I wanted it to be us. After a quick talk with Scott and Isla at our sleepy terminal in Hartford, Connecticut, we agreed to go for it. "Let's do it," I texted Allen, "Let's put in an offer". By the time we landed in Chicago, we were under contract.

And thank god for it! Mere hours after we had a deal, another offer came in for 5K more than ours. Hours later! Talk about lucky. Timing truly is everything. Thankfully the owner was a man of good character and continued to honor our deal, but it was pretty incredible to think we were so close to losing this boat that is now our beloved 'home sweet home'. Sometimes, you need to move fast.

***

She arrived a week before Christmas (Plug for fantastic human: if you need a delivery captain, look no further than the incredible Andrew Burton! He is not only professional and accomplished, but an awesome person to boot. As if that's not enough, the boat was impeccable when we took her over, he and his crew deep-cleaned her head to toe!) and we began the crazy process of moving from one boat to another. It was... nuts. There's really no other way to describe it. Moving house (or boat, rather) while simultaneously trying to make Christmas "magical" for our three kids was exhausting and stressful. Scott was working all hours trying to finalize the new online booking system for our business (much easier said than done!) and I was doing Christmas crafts, buying presents, and doing all the other stuff necessary to keep our home(s) in order. We pushed on and persisted, and in the end felt very lucky that our situation was about as ideal as could be: our new boat was docked next to Asante, we had plenty of time to move our personal effects from A to B, we purged a LOT of accumulated junk, and so many friends and family came to our aid to help us with the move and with the girls. All in all, we had it pretty awesome. Despite these perks, moving is no fun. Moving with three little kids nipping at your heels? 9th circle of Hell. PERIOD.

I digress...

So how are we doing in our new boat?

In a word: Amazing.

We love her. I think I say how much I love her to Scott every single day. She has, indeed, been life-changing, just as I imagined her to be.

Her name has a musical connotation and means "in a smooth flowing manner, without breaks between notes." In Italian, Legato means: tied together. I think it's a pretty nice name for a family boat, and we have no plans to change it. Partly because the name is not terrible, mostly because we're lazy. Her perks are great: she is much more roomy than our last boat and the addition of the third cabin has been everything we imagined it would be. WE HAVE THREE BEDROOMS!!! Isla has her own room now and she is positively ecstatic about it. The twins share the bunk room (although, despite having two beds they opt to both sleep together on the top bunk - how adorable is that?) and everyone has their own little space now. The addition of not only one, but TWO stand-up separate showers has also been life-changing; prior to this boat the girls and I would shower off the back deck with a cold water hose, and Scott would have to walk to the marina showers (no where near as often as necessary, mind you!) Not that big of an issue, and at the time it certainly didn't seem like a deal breaker - but being able to take warm showers on our boat and not on-deck has been truly AMAZING. The list of features that we love (centerline queen aft berth, an aft cabin that is large and spacious, a nav station that doubles as a desk...etc.) goes on and on...we love this boat. Love her.

***

So what were our other desires when boat shopping this time around? We wanted a monohull under 50 feet, largely for cost reasons but also because if we wanted a ton of space we'd get a condo. We like living "cozy" and we wanted to get the smallest boat that would give our family the space it needed to be comfortable. 48 feet worked out to be just right for us. Small enough to go anywhere and still be manageable, but big enough to give our growing family of five some individual space. We wanted three cabins, an in-boom roller furling main, great sailing performance (she is a dream to sail!) at least one separate stand up shower stall, two heads, an ample aft deck swim step, center cockpit configuration, cutter rig, and not a 'fixer upper'. While this boat has done the Caribbean 1500 a few times, it's not at all set up for long-term live-aboard cruising which actually suited us fine. We are staying local for the next few years and while we eventually plan to cast off again, that's a ways away for us. By the time we get ready to shove off, there will be gear that is even better suited for long-term cruising than there is today. Off-grid systems and electronics get better and more efficient every year, so when our time to go approaches - we'll start adding things like solar power, water maker, davits and whatever else we think we need. For now, we're perfectly set up to be weekend warriors here in the beautiful Virgin Islands.

And now, for the picture tour. We will start aft and then work our way up!

This is our aft cabin. It is a dream. We love the headroom, the extra storage, and the centerline queen bed.

Quite possibly the biggest upgrade of all, the aft head with a separate stand up shower. It is heaven!

Looking forward from our bedroom door (we have a door now!)

Our saloon. We still need to add some personal touches like family photos and such, but it feels very comfortable and homey.

One thing I LOVE about this boat? It's so bright! Natural light is a must for me in a home of any sort, and we love that we get lots of it here.

Another big upgrade! A desk! I write here, Scott works here and the chair is extra space for a friend to sit when people come over.

Looking aft to our bedroom from the saloon. Our walk-thru galley is a dream.

The twins bunk room. Two beds and plenty of space to store their goodies, especially since they both sleep up top together. Scott and I designed the bedrail using L-brackets and starboard. Works like a charm!

This is where the twins sleep, together. They sometimes sleep on opposite ends, sometimes snuggled up, but always together up here. Their choice!

This is the forward head directly across from the twins' room. Also has a stand up shower. Love!!!

Isla's room. This is her little sanctuary. She truly loves it and all three will play up here together in the morning.  Books, books and more books!

Looking aft from the front end. Our home sweet home!! We love her SO much!

Here's the layout of our boat to help further the visual tour. Hope you enjoyed!

OUR OLD BOAT, S/V ASANTE (BREWER 44) IS NOW FOR SALE. 

EMAIL US IF YOUR ARE INTERESTED WINDTRAVELER09 at GMAIL.COM 

STAY TUNED FOR A FULL LISTING WITH PRICE, PICTURES and SPECS.

Newsflash: Our Kids are Not as Perfect as they Seem on Instagram

I had had it up to HERE with my kids. It was 4:30pm, I had played referee, broken up fights, dealt with unruly tantrums, yelled at the top of my lungs, cooked two dinners, cleaned the boat over and over and over again, picked up toys, broken up more fights... and I. Was. Done. I walked down the dock with two girls happily running ahead of me and one lagging behind and I had defeat written all over face and body. I was tired, I was angry, I desperately wanted a break... A nice man stopped to politely let Mira pass (the lagger behinder of our posse), at which point she scowled at him, planted her feet firmly on the pavement, crossed her arms and yelled, "NO!" Aren't they charming, I thought? I looked up to the sky in frustration. Why are my kids such jerks sometimes!?! Sigh. "I'm sorry," I told the gentleman wearily, "She is a stubborn little child." I stood, waiting for Mira and as the man passed me he said casually, "She doesn't seem stubborn on your blog..."

I wasn't quite sure how to take the comment as there was no follow up conversation after that, I believe more than anything it was an honest observation. But it got me to thinking, "She doesn't seem stubborn on my blog but...isn't it understood that my kids are ages four and two and, at the end of the day, normal kids with 'asshole tendencies'?" (Yes, I'm sorry to swear but toddlers definitely can have asshole tendencies and if yours do not, well...congratulations). After some thought I came to the conclusion that maybe based on our Facebook and Instagram accounts, our pretty pictures and sweet updates of our goings-ons, people really did think our life and kids are perfect and, well, I am here to tell you loud and clear: OUR LIFE AND KIDS ARE NOT PERFECT.

***

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for our life and I love our kids more than I can possibly articulate, but should you ever meet them, you must remember that what I share in photos and blogs are snippets of time, and - yes - mostly happy times (of which there are many!) but do not expect them to be adorable little robot children who will run when you call and hug when you bend down to greet them. I mean, sometimes they do that, and sometimes they are absolute angels...but sometimes Haven will look you straight in the eye when you give her a friendly "Hello!" and say, "I. Don't. Like. You" with clipped, perfect articulation just to drive the point home. Sometimes Mira will stick her tongue out you as you wave to her and Isla might just have a little "diva" moment if you ask for a high-five. Believe me, we are working on squishing these bad habits (behavior charts for the win!) but in the meantime, understand that our girls are not always happy, smiling, perfect creatures doing adorable things in beautiful locations. PLEASE do not be fooled into thinking that our girls are any different than other kids simply because we live on a boat in the islands. For example, I have Googled the following over the last few weeks: "Am I screwing up my kids?" "Are my kids jerks?" "How to deal with a "spirited" child?" (Good LORD how do you deal with a spirited child!?!) "Do I yell too much?" and "Tactics of the Super Nanny" No real conclusions have been reached based on these rather futile searches, but what I did discover during these forays into the interwebs was a bunch of other moms on the same page as I; confused, a little lost and worrying that we might be dropping the ball.

But we are not dropping the ball, and I know that. We're doing a lot of stuff right and we're doing some stuff wrong. It's inevitable. This is parenting and nobody, NOBODY gets it right all the time. I have my mommy strengths; an extremely affectionate nature, very patient (to a point), and an instinctual aversion to helicoptering (to name a few)...and I have my parental weaknesses: a temper, a need to 'control', and an almost OCD-like need for order (kind of hard with three tots!). These traits (along with many more from both Scott and me) will play out in our children's lives in one way or another. Some will have positive consequences, some will have negative consequences some will just be. Our parents screwed things up, their parents screwed things up before them and our great-grandparents before that... the cycle goes back to the beginning of time. But with every generation, we learn, we tweak, we change tacks and do our best. We do our best. We have all turned out okay (well, most of us anyway) and our kids (most likely) will follow suit and do the same. They will not be perfect, but they will be okay.

***

Social media in a lot of ways is a wonderful thing; it's brought me a tremendous amount of satisfaction, joy, friendship and community to my life. But there is a yin to the yang and I think the one-sided nature of it is part of that. We share the prettiest pics, the happiest times and everyone's life looks pretty damn awesome. But the truth is, no one knows what is really going on behind the curtain and things are not always what they seem. We have our struggles just like anyone else. They might not be the same struggles you have, but there are bumps in the road none the less. Our marriage is far from perfect (have your read about the divorce rate for parents of twins? YIKES!), Scott has very little work/life balance, we run a business that is constantly eating away at family time (there's no such thing as time "off" when you own a biz), we live a very public life that can be open to scrutiny (both outspoken and covert) and we have three children ages four and under. Two of them are two year old twins. (It. Is. Intense). It's not easy and it is a lot of work. But along with all that are all the positives. We own our own business. We live on a gorgeous tropical island. We just bought a beautiful new boat. We have three healthy children who are the loves of our lives. We have wonderful friends. We have a loving family. We meet interesting people every single day. Our girls have a wonderful, adoring community around them. We spend 90% of our awake time outside, in nature. We have so, so, so much....We are very lucky. When I am sharing our happy moments, I am just that: Happy. I am grateful and it's my nature to see the positive in things in life rather than dwell on the negative. But there is negative, make no mistake. Just because you don't see it, does not mean it's absent.

***

So when you scroll through our blog and our Instagram account, or when you toggle through my Facebook posts, please remember: we might not be in the exact same boat, but in one way shape or form, we are all in the same boat, somehow, someway, it all evens out in the wash. Where you might thrive, I might struggle. Where I struggle you might thrive. And it might not be so obvious based on the tiny percentage of our life that I share. So if and when you meet our (adorable, spirited, slightly feral, strong-willed, beautiful, wild and precocious) little girls and they are less than charming to you, my sincerest apologies. And if you meet them and they are the wonderful little creatures I prefer to highlight and chronicle every day, know you caught us on a good day.

Twas the Night Before Christmas: Nautical Style

It's Christmas Eve!! I have SO much to write about and SO much to share, but time has not allowed...so those things will have to wait - suffice it to say that life has been insanely hectic (we have a new boat and moved aboard three days before Christmas!) and amazing (we have a new boat and it's Christmas!) I am prepping for a weekend of festivities so cannot give you all the details just yet but for now, we want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and share this oldie but goodie re-write of an old classic I wrote a few years back...

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the boat, 

not a creature was stirring, not even a roach.

The dry bags were hung on the davits with care, 

in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their berth, 

while visions of snorkeling filled them with mirth.

And mama in her ponytail and I in my headlamp, 

had just dropped the 'hook in a new harbor "camp".

When out on the deck there arose such a clatter, 

I sprang from the nav station to see what was the matter.

To the aft cabin I flew like a flash, 

grabbed my machete and opened the hatch.

The full moonlight sparkled and danced on the ocean, 

while our boat gently rocked with a side to side motion.

When what to my sun-tired eyes should appear, 

but a flying pirogue pulled by eight tiny deer.

With a laughing old helmsman singin' a Caribbean shtick, 

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than dolphins, his coursers they came, 

and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! 

Now Prancer! Now Vixen!

On Comet! On Cupid!

On Donner! On Blitzen!

From the top of the mast all the way to the clew!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away you!"

As sea birds before a wild hurricane fly, 

when met with an obstacle, take to the sky.

Over twinkling anchor lights 'round the harbor they flew

with a boat full of parts and St. Nicholas, too. 

When suddenly I heard on the cabin-top roof 

the prancing and pawing of each tiny hoof.

As I clicked off my headlamp and was turning around, 

down the companionway stairs came St. Nick with a bound!

Hawaiian shirt, bermuda shorts and waternut in hand,

his feet and his face were all covered in sand.

A sack full of provisions he had slung on his hub

and he looked like a man just returned from Sam's Club.

His eyes, how they sparkled!  His wrinkles, how cheery!

His cheeks were all sunburned, his nose was all peely!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a sail, 

the ends of his beard housed a braid, like a tail.

The stump of his Cuban cast a faint yellow glow,

but the Old Salt, he knew better than to smoke down below.

His face was all weathered, and he had a big tum, 

from a lifetime of rays and plenty of fun. 

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Salt

and I knew right away this was not an assault.

A wink of his eye and a swig of his rum, 

soon gave me to know he was nothing but fun.

He spoke not a word, but got to work down below

And serviced our systems with the speed of a pro!

He cleaned up our terminals and replaced an old hose, 

After halving my "to-do" list, up the companionway he rose.

He jumped into his boat, to his team gave a whistle,

and away they all went like a nautical missile.

But I heard him exclaim as he sailed through the night

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

© original adaptation written by Brittany Meyers, property of Windtraveler.net

The Power of Words and Beauty of Sharing: New Friends in Far Off Places

Being a writer, it's very easy for me to feel anonymous. It's an incredibly solitary pastime and more often than not, I live in my own head. Sure, I know we have a healthy audience for our website and Facebook page, but still, the reach and power of this blog when I am behind the computer banging away at the keyboard is often lost on me...I write and share what I feel with the hopes that someone will like it, or that maybe it will resonate, inspire, or - at the very least - that I will be happy to have written whatever it was that I wrote so that when my memory fades I will always have something to look back on.

But every now and then something happens that reminds me of the power of my words. Of the beauty sharing. Of how putting our lives out there (which is something I have both directly and indirectly been criticized for) connects us so beautifully to others. One time it was a heartfelt email about how a "childless by choice" family decided to become parents as a direct result of this blog. Another time it was a tear-jerking missive from a veteran for whom our blog was a beacon of light while he was deployed overseas. Every single week we meet readers and followers who share our joy and love our story. We come home to treasures and gifts for the girls on the deck of our boat and readers come to our marina to meet us and say 'hi'. It's wonderful and I'm grateful to be able to touch these lives and - in turn - be touched by them. Because it is for sure a two-way street.

***

This week, my writer's spirit was touched again when we received a manilla envelope of no fewer than 47 hand drawn cards from one (very special) blog follower's 3rd grade classroom. The lovely Phyllis Dantzler reached out one day via Facebook and shared with me some pictures that her kids had drawn after being inspired by our story. "Could I send them to you?" she asked.  I was so touched by this that I reached out and we began a personal correspondence:

"I tell ya these kids live 40 miles from Edisto Beach SC and some have never seen the ocean. Cottageville is a small country town outside of Charleston. Low income area. When I told them about your family they were thrilled. We read one of your blogs together in class and for our writing block they wrote the letters to y'all. They loved seeing all the photos on our Smartboard. They call me their mermaid teacher lol. When we have spare time or inside recess guess what they want to read about? (your adventures). I heard one student talking on the playground about her new friends who live on a sailboat! Enjoy your wonderful life and we will live vicariously through you!!"

So she sent my mom the envelope of pictures who brought them down with her last week. And they are magic.

As a mom of tiny people who is constantly inundated by teachable moments, and who is particularly sensitive to making sure my kids not only accept but embrace others for their differences, what Phyllis did with her classroom really touched me. Not only did she use our lifestyle to engage her students with the earth and ocean, but she has also planted the seed to inspire thinking outside the box. On the surface, looking at our photos and reading about our lifestyle doesn't seem like much - but opening young minds to other ways of life, new ways of thinking, and exposing them to the world in a very human and relatable way - though watching other children - is actually quite powerful and brilliant. She is helping to normalize other ways of thinking and living, helping to fertilize young dreams and it is a great honor that she is using our family as a vehicle to do this.

The letters and pictures were precious and touching as all children's art is. "I want to live on a boat too one day" wrote several children. "Your kids are like roses, they are pretty" wrote another. "I want to come snorgle with you. I have never been snorgeling" wrote another adorable child (how cute is the misspelling of snorkel!?!). "You are a nice family, I want to visit you one day"...The girls and I flipped through all the pictures and notes, one by one, and I read to them these lovely messages from children we've never met, who live thousands of miles away and who's lives are so very different from our own. The exercise was two fold, of course, I wanted to share these lovely cards with the girls so that the student's effort was not wasted, but I also want our children to understand that not everyone lives like we do, and that we are very, very lucky to be able to live in such a unique way, and how neat it is that other's live different ways. Being grateful is another life lesson I am really trying to drill into the girls. (Side note: We'll see how I'm doing with my "lessons" and "teachable moments"...most days I'm wanting to pull my hair out and pretty sure I'm failing...sigh!)

So to the lovely Mrs. Dantzler's class, I want to give a great, big THANK YOU. Your lovely cards and words truly made our holiday season and warmed our hearts. If there is one piece of advice I could give to all the students in all the world it is one simple word: R E A D. Just, read.

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

Be kind. Be good. Help others. Find beauty and magic in the little things. And read, read, read. Curiosity about the world combined with a love of knowledge and a thirst for reading are the keys to the universe (in my humble opinion). Your mind has no limits so fill it with good knowledge that can take you places and make your dreams come true.

In this vein, we have chosen some of our favorite books to add to your library to be read aloud together. We hope you enjoy our small selection and that these wonderful books (that are staples in our personal library), inspire some great conversations and life lessons. They should be arriving to Mrs. Dantzler any day now to be enjoyed in the New Year and beyond:

Oh, The Places You'll Go! - This is a classic Dr. Seuss book that should be read by EVERYONE, regularly. It offers fun, whimsical and valuable advice about life and making dreams come true. I read this book to Isla every single day for the first six months of her life (would have loved to read it to the twins as much but...twins. They were having none of it!) This is good for kids of all ages, from 1-100.

The Snail and the Whale - We love ALL of Julia Donaldson's book but this one is one of our favorites, it tells the tale of a travel eager snail who hitches a ride around the world on the tail of a whale despite snickers from her fellow snail community. They have loads of wonderful adventures and the snail learns a valuable lesson about her potential despite being so small in a big, big world.

Lola Tortola: Caribbean Limericks - We first bought this book in the Grenadines when we were sailing with Isla. It's lovely little limericks about the islands. The pictures are gorgeous and it's a great way to learn the names of some of the islands here in the Caribbean. We have traveled to just about all the islands they rhyme about! Maybe you can even try to write your own limericks!

The Jolly Mon - This great book, by Jimmy Buffett, is based on the lovely song "Jolly Mon" which tells the tale a of an island man who sang beautiful songs with a magical guitar. He takes off on a little sailboat to bring his music to all the neighboring islands, has a run-in with pirates, and is saved by a magic dolphin. A great little story.

The Little Island - This book is a magical classic that tells the story of a small island in the ocean. The island changes with storms and seasons and, one day when a cat visits, we learn about the interconnectedness of life. It's a lovely, timeless story.

***

We hope you all enjoy this selection of stories from your boat friends on Tortola. Thank you for touching our hearts and opening our minds. Big love to all of you kids! THANK YOU.

Haven being cheeky. As usual. She LOVED looking at all the pictures and wanted to color them in!

What beautiful pictures we got from the minds of these lovely children! We cherish all of them!

Change on the Horizon and Settling into a New Normal

Dropping off the girls for their first day of preschool was hard. While, in theory, they had been asking to go to school for months (something about school busses, of which there are zero here ... *that* was not fun news to break), when push came to shove and they realized they would not be by my side for an entire three hours, they were less keen. I, however, was keen so after I peeled all three girls off of me (with the help of several teachers), I kissed them all and did the brisk walk off the premises. Did I cry? Nope. Maybe that sounds odd (because I know lots of moms who do), but I didn't and I really believe this little break three times a week will do the world of good for all of us. I was told it took them exactly four seconds to calm down, stop crying and they had a great day. Already, the girls have made a few more friends, talk excitedly about their day's there, and I've expanded my community of great island moms. Did I mention how lovely it is to spend 2-3 hours alone a few times a week? It might not seem like much, but to me, it's the equivalent to a five day stay at Fijian all inclusive. That is how rejuvenated I feel. Breaks are good. So is not having three (adorable and lovable) toddlers nipping at your heals at all hours. That s*** can really grate at your nerves.

Them waddling down the docks together in their backpacks will forever be etched in my memory as one of the cutest images ever.

They will attend their little school three times a week. Despite our 6/6:30 am wake-up time, getting all three of them out the door by 9am is a struggle. Come to think of it, a whole lot of my life with our three girls feels very much like herding cats. It's infinitely worse now that the twins have very distinct opinions on what to wear, eat and - in general - how and when to do things. Oh, toddlerhood. It's the best of times and the worst of times all rolled into one. On the one hand, it's my most favorite stage ever because they are so cute and chatty and funny and adorable. On the other hand, we have the tantrums, meltdowns, and general lack of impulse control. It's full-on. One moment we're hunky dory, the next it sounds like I'm pulling our their fingernails one by one down here. Thank god we have great neighbors who either pretend not to care or have a lot of empathy. I get a lot of gently delivered, "You're doing a great job, mom" comments from friends around us. That's when I know they heard me lose my s***. Good stuff.

So, school... the girls are still not at the point where they run up to the gate excitedly, but I think we're getting there. It's only been four days....Mira is pretty much a Cat 5 clinger during each drop off which is hard, but she is our most sensitive and cuddly one so it was expected. Haven, of course, is the least effected and while she does shed a tear or two, it's manageable and all I need to do is offer an after school treat as a bribe and she's good. Isla, for the most part, loves it and her new friends. Hearing all the kids excitedly say, "Bye Isla" in unison when she leaves is the cutest thing ever. I feel 100% good about this decision and I'm told it will get easier and easier.

What else, what else, what else...? (Scratches chin) OH YEAH. We bought a new boat.

Yep. 

We bought a new boat. (contains excited squeal of utter glee).

We are now the proud owners of a bee-you-tee-ful three cabin Tayana 48. I have a whole post on the how's and why's and what's, but this boat is a huge development and I honestly think it's going to change our life. I realize how ridiculous and dramatic that sounds but it's true. A family of five in a two "bedroom" boat is tight to say the least and while there are many families out there would would make it work and thrive in such an arrangement, that is not us. We always knew a bigger boat was in our future so when I found s/v Legato online and the stars aligned that we could check her out, we moved and we moved fast. Anyway...more on that later but you have no idea how excited we are about this change. It's like a million Christmas Eve's (before you found out the truth about Santa) rolled into one. If you are interested in checking out pics (aka "boat porn") check out our >>>Facebook Page<<<.

As such, this boat will be for sale shortly. If you know any one in the market for a very well equipped Brewer 44 sitting pretty smack-dab in the middle of the beautiful Caribbean, send them our way. We've already got a bunch of inquiries so that is fantastic, but the more word that gets out the better. We don't want to own two cruising boats for too long, that's for damn sure. I'm working on a proper listing but for now, here's some info about our boat: >>>>OUR BOAT FOR SALE<<<<. We will probably be listing with a broker soon so if you want to strike while the iron is hot and keep the middle man out, now's the time.

Scott is as busy as ever on >>>our biz<<<. Owning a (very busy!) business is incredible and wonderful, but it's a crap ton of work and - SHOCKER - it literally never stops when you are the owner. Scott has been pulling eighteen hour days and works seven days a week. The poor guy rarely gets a break and yet never complains. He's working very hard on a better "work-life balance" for both our family and the folks we employ - so he's getting systems in place to streamline things and make sure we can all play hard after we work hard. It's all about balance, right? Easier said than done but that is the goal.

We are settling in for a wild and crazy ride the next couple of months as the season gets into full swing and our new boat gets delivered (early to mid December). Merry Christmas to us! I will keep you posted.

Halloween, Island Style! While we did not get to go trick or treating door to door (not really feasible here) - the girls attended THREE incredible Halloween parties with their school and friends. They had a blast!

This post was brought to you by preschool.

A Foot in Both Worlds

As our time back on land comes to a close (how did two months go by that fast?) I am constantly asked the question, "Aren't you *so* glad to leave and go back?" It's hard to answer that because - for the last four years or so - Scott and I have remained, more or less, tethered to land. After a year and a half of solo cruising, we came home to have Isla and moved to Florida for six months after that to refit our boat. We then set sail only to return home a little over a year later to give birth to our (surprise!) twins. Two infants at once, as you can probably imagine, was a real game changer and we lived with my parents for a year while we adjusted to live as an insta-family of five. We were, for all intents and purposes, land-lubbers and, for us, it was the only way to be during that (incredibly difficult) season of our lives. We then began the process of buying a business on Tortola which dictated that we move off island for six months while the deal went through, and from now forward, as official "expats", we plan to come back for visits at least once a year to see family and friends and "get off the rock", as it were.

Land life is simply part of our life, and we are grateful for it.

So am I glad to leave? No. This visit has been amazing. Scott and I got away - alone, together - for the first time in four years to attend one of my best friend's weddings in Santa Barbara where (cough cough) Gweneth Paltrow (among others!!) was a fellow guest (my friend is a very successful Hollywood writer and, no, I did not meet her but could have touched her a couple times!), Scott got to spend some quality time with his brother on a motorcycle trip riding "the tail of the dragon" in Tennessee, we spent a positively beautiful week in Northern Michigan with most of Scott's family, the girls and I had countless playdates with wonderful neighborhood kids and kindred spirit mom friends, we got to see all of my immediate family and their families'...there were bonfires, play parks, museum visits and sleepovers...dinners out, talks over wine and spirit-lifting hang-outs with old friends...the list goes on. It was wonderful and went by too fast, and it's precisely why we keep coming back - because there is so very much here for us.

So, no, I'm not "glad" to leave ( though I am happy to be escaping winter!) - it is, in fact, a bit sad. We have a wonderful life up here filled with family, friends and - oh man - the general convenience of the 'burbs cannot be beat. But are we happy to go back to our little boat and little island? You betcha.

***

You see, by having one foot in both worlds, we are offered a unique perspective and one that helps us to appreciate the other world. I've always been one to caution the notion that there is any one single way to live that is better than another (i.e. land life vs. island life vs. cruising) because the fact of the matter is this: it's completely subjective and while many people love the above lifestyles, just as many do not. My best friend in the whole wide world came to visit us last season and one night, as we were sipping rum cocktails gazing out as the sun set over the water she said, "Britt...I totally get why you live here. This place is amazing and it is so totally you. You are clearly in your element. But me? No. This wouldn't work for me." It was not an insult and I was in no way offended.  I completely agreed with her because a) I know her better than I know anybody and, no, it is definitely not her jam and b) I know that our slightly alternative lifestyle is not a one size fits all kind of existence.

On the flip side, how she feels about island/live-aboard life is precisely how I feel about a more traditional, suburban/city life. I appreciate the convenience, the plethora of things to do, the accessibility to great restaurants and shows and of course the proximity to friends and family...but for now, it's just not for us.

And yet, we have an amazing thing up here. We have my family here and Scott's family just day's drive over in Michigan (seriously, the most underrated state in the lower 50 in my opinion. So. Damn. Beautiful.) and we get to spend time with them when we visit, exploring the woods, the shores of fresh water lakes, and - in general - living our days outside in the fresh air. Our girls have a slew of aunts and uncles who adore them and cousins on both sides whom they consider their best friends - these kinds of bonds are the very reason we keep a tether to shore. I have an incredible group of friends - some of whom I have known since I was five - who, despite our distance and once-a-year visits, are truly some of the most incredible people in the world and fill my life, heart and soul with love and joy...My girls adore their grandparents, they love our neighbors, and the relationships they have with these people are important to us. It's a pleasure to be here, not a burden.

We have the same level of appreciation, however, for our little island life. While the roots we have planted are new, we have begun to develop a great and very fulfilling existence. Our business is thriving and exciting to us. We absolutely love our "neighborhood" and cross-cultural community at Nanny Cay, the seeds for great friendships have been planted and are being sowed, the girls thrive like the wild little (often naked) bush children they are and I really love the slower and simpler pace of day to day living. Everything feels a little less rushed, everyone has a little more time and I like that. Our choices for everything from what to do to what to eat are most definitely limited compared to what is available up here, but what we do get is constant and close access to jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring natural beauty day in and day out and that, to me, is priceless. The water, specifically, is truly a salve to my soul and, man, I'm excited to get back and dip my toes into it. I need it..

***

There are also some very exciting changes on the horizon that if you follow our >>Facebook Page<< you already know... Scott was only back for a short while during this trip (we kept our business running year round this year) but his visit allowed us a quick trip to the East Coast to do some boat shopping. Yep, you read that correctly: boat shopping. Scott and I had a sort of "come to Jesus" type talk and decided that we needed a bigger boat sooner than later. Long story short: I am more than excited to announce that we are under contract with a 48 foot three cabin cutter-rigged monohull (more details soon, I promise!) and the boat goes to survey the day after the girls and I return to Tortola. To say we are excited about this new development is a massive understatement, but - like I said - the hows and why's of all this require a whole separate blog post and, until the boat passes survey (which it should) we aren't counting any chickens. Patience, please.

Another amazing change we will be coming back to is the fact that all three girls will attend a little pre-school three half-days a week. While I have been home with all of them as their major care-taker 24/7 for the last four and a half years, the time has come to give myself a little break - not to mention the fact the girls are literally begging me to send them to school. Again, there is a whole post here and I'll delve more into why we made this decision a little later. Suffice it to say, we did a lot of research, talked to a lot of people and decided that at this juncture of our lives - this will be best for everybody. We are all super stoked.

This trip home has been a fantastic "factory reset" - and while we are sad to say "goodbye" - there is so much to look forward to. While having a "foot in both worlds" might, to some, seem non-committal or even limiting, to us it feels like a huge gift and makes life a little sweeter.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have packing to do and lists to make! We are island bound in t-minus three days!

(and here is where I barrage you with a completely random assortment of photos of our visit! I tried as best I could to cut down from the 2K I took, but it was not easy!)

To all our friends and family who made this visit so great, we thank you! To those of you who we adore with all our hearts yet could not see this time around, we are sorry and we'll catch you next time! xoxo

Hello from the Other Side...My Musings On Truth Telling

L.O.V.E

Hello?

It's me...

I've been wondering if after all this time you'd like to meet?

***

My gosh, I have been dying to write for weeks and weeks (how many has it been, exactly? Ugh) and as you may or may not know, writing (or, more specifically sharing) is almost compulsive for me and as essential as water or food to my mental well-being. 

In short, sharing is a salve to my soul.

So, while I have nothing particular to say, enough was enough and I decided, "Well, I will just write what I am thinking at the moment..."

So here I am.

***

When I am not chasing our very cute, very loud, and very exuberant brood or wasting exorbitant amounts of time on Facebook (Don't judge! Sometimes I want to just veg-out, chat with my girlfriends, look at pictures depicting impossibly perfect lives and read articles that either support or negate what a great mom I am...etc etc), I read...books. If there is one thing that inspires me, it is a really good writer. I read every night before bed (unless I hit the wine too hard, which - let's be honest - has been known to happen) and I polish off about two books a month this way.  I just finished most of the the works of Pat Conroy (wow), and have since delved into The Nest but, two nights ago, in a last ditch effort to find inspiration and creativity in what has become something of a slump, I started "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Sigh. The Queen of the truth tellers. These people, another of which is the equally inspiring Glennon Doyle (of Momestary fame), are the ones who speak scary truths with incredible bravery and transparency about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. These are the kind of people who I like to associate with, the kinds who inspire me to no end. The kind of person I want to be.

I've been thinking a lot about truth-telling for a number of reasons (it seems to be all around me in some way, shape or form) and how amazing it is; not only is it incredibly freeing it's the very thing most people want. Truth-telling breeds connections which grow deep friendships. Raw honesty is what sows the seeds which feed communities. An open heart is what allows for metamorphosis. And yet, truth-telling and being completely honest with ourselves and others is often the hardest thing to do. Believe me, I know.

But I digress...

If I a) know you b) like you and c) trust you (it's a gut/experience thing) - you will attest to the fact that I am 100% honest. Not in a judgey, "I'll tell you what no one else will" kind of way, but in the way that I will share with you my experiences with raw, honest, grittiness ("Oh, yeah. When my twins were born I 100% understood why and how some woman could drive a van into an ocean...") and you will feel less alone because YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT. It's amazing to me how, when I am being honest with people - even strangers ("Man, I really wish I was a lesbian sometimes because today I really hate my husband...") - I can see a relief wash over them. It's like, "(Sigh) We don't need to do the pretend bullshit thing here and it is SO refreshing." It's why I know the deepest and darkest secrets of many friends (new and old), it's why a mom I meet in passing at the park becomes a dear friend, it's why my girlfriends and I are such a great tribe - we are honest and real with one another without judgement or jealousy, we shower one another in love and support. We have each other's backs in the biggest way and it's the way it should be.

***

It's easy for me to be a truth-teller in person among people who I trust and who share back with me (like anything, it's a two-way street). Where it get's tricky is here, on the world wide web where my audience is no longer a fellow sister who I am commiserating with, but thousands of faceless strangers who I do not know. I have been applauded before for being very open and honest about the good, bad and ugly of the cruising life and and I think more people are starting to follow suit... But there's always room for more honesty, more truth, more sharing and less judging and I am on a mission to be even more present and candid in what I write and say. I am working on living this truth myself and, believe me, it's not easy and - sometimes - really scary. None of us are perfect, in fact our flaws and struggles are what make us the most relatable, so why not expose them so that others can help us heal and so we may help another not feel so alone? It's really so simple. And yet...so hard. Because: FEAR.

Striving for truth means solidarity with the people who will make us better. The person who look at my kids in horror when they throw tantrum in a store, as opposed to the one who looks at me with eyes that say, "I FEEL YOU", is not the kind of person I want in my life anyway, so why aim to please that person? I want to seek out the fist-bumpers of the world and the people who truly understand that our greatest strength lies in true connection and togetherness. None of us can please everyone, and as hard as that can be sometimes, it is the way it is. In the infamous words of Taylor Swift, "Haters gonna hate". 

***

I have recently had several people meet me (via this blog) and tell me that my life (or the one I portray, anyway) looks a) pretty perfect,  b) that I look like such a great mom, c) that my marriage looks idyllic and d) our children seem so well-behaved. These things, while not lies, per-say, are not 100% accurate. Sure, we have some pretty awesome moments (and these are what are predominately shared on Facebook and on this blog) but they are only a small snippet of the picture. Please let me address these misconceptions lest you think the same:

a) On being perfect: Rest assured, if something looks "perfect" it most definitely is not. 'Nough said.
b) On being a super mom: I think I'm a pretty good to pretty great mom most of the time, but just the other night I lost my shit on my four year old so bad we both started crying. Momming is haaaaard.
c) On having an idyllic marriage: HAHAHAHAHA! (Excuse me while I wipe tears of laughter...) Oh, marriage. No. Just, no. Working on SO much here. There is love and there is good, but there is work and struggle and I have wanted to call it quits MANY times. Any marriage that calls itself perfect is either a lie or between two unicorns.
d) On our well-behaved children: Our girls are smart, adorable and the loves of our lives, no question about that. But they, too, are far from perfect. Just today I had to drag Haven out of TJ max because she was throwing a fit of such epic proportions I was afraid they were going to call the cops to intervene (you have never heard a scream until you have heard our Haven's). Spirited? Yes. Perfect? Nope. They fight, they scream, they back-talk and they melt down just like any other kid. And that is okay because it is normal.

So (wiping hands together) that is my little bit of truth for today.

And this is my goal. To become more of a truth-teller. To write more regularly. To cover more topics. To see where it takes me...

***

Anyway, it's naptime right now and I may or may not have had some sauvignon blanc so this could very well be a wined-up missive from the very sleep depraved hinterland of my brain, but maybe just maybe I am on to something here.

Either way, HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE! I have missed you. There is more to come (but, lets be honest, probably not anytime soon.)

Isla Turns Four: An Island Party fit for a Princess

Isla turned four on the last day of March. She reminds me daily of this fact and believes wholeheartedly that this magical number makes her a "big girl." I appease her, of course, because being proud of growing up is something I wish for her, but I silently cling to the toddler traits that linger; the dimply hands, the perfectly round tush, her sing-song bell of a voice, her chubby (but thinning) cheeks...so while she fancies herself something of a "big girl", I still look at her beautiful, brown, soulful eyes and see my little baby.

What can I say about our Isla? She is strong, smart, loving, kind, cautious, wise and brave. Her sense of humor is awesome and she lives to make people laugh. Her smile lights up a room. Her mind is a veritable sponge of wonder, curiosity and intrigue. She is absolutely brilliant, a total goof ball and full of personality. She shines bright with her giggles and makes friends wherever she goes. She is an amazing big sister to the twins (well, most of the time!) and makes our lives better in every conceivable way. She is full of joy and so. much. fun. Of course she can be stubborn, willful and possesses the persistence of a hungry used car salesman...after all, she is four. But these things go with the territory of raising a fiercely independent, strong female so I will take it. There are no words that can adequately relay the adoration we have for this little ray of sunshine, but we love her to the moon and back (a million times) and watching her grow is nothing short of a pleasure. Every single day I learn from this child, she has been my greatest teacher.

***

I put slightly more effort into her birthday party than I did for the twins. She is now at an age where a birthday matters, at least a little. And I wanted her to feel very special on her day. Of course a beach party was in order...while I did start 'planning' earlier, I stuck with my method of keeping it simple. We invited all her "neighborhood" friends, pre-ordered a couple extra-large trays of pizza, Scott arranged for a special "Elsa" princess cake and we staked out a picnic table on the beach. Of course the beach bar was slinging beers for the adults. What's a party without beverages for the adults, right?

Our very good friends from s/v Necesse made the trip over from St. Thomas to spend four days with us which was definitely a birthday highlight for both Isla and I. Not only is Genevieve one of my very best friends, but her youngest, Ellia, and Isla are only a week apart in age and shared their first birthday's together in the Bahamas. We've been crossing paths with them ever since and every time it is a pleasure to get our kids together (more so now because they fight so much less!) and continue making memories. We adore the Stolz's, and it was very special that they made the effort to come in to spend time with us. Thank you guys!

***

As it turns out, her birthday also coincided with the BVI Spring Regatta and Sailing Festival which is a week of partying and racing that happens each year here at Nanny Cay. I wasn't so sure how it was going to work out with our party merging on the beach with the after party, but as luck would have it - Isla's birthday celebration happened just before the race festivities started, and as we began to wrap up our party, the racer's bash commenced. This conveniently into our "after-party" as well. The "big kids" of the group lingered with the mamas, dancing wildly to the live band and enjoying the festive atmosphere into the night. It was an amazing day for an amazing little girl who is loved fiercely and completely.

But enough of that, I will let our party pictures tell the story...

Thank you to everyone who came out to make Isla's day special, you all know who you are and we are SO grateful. Here's to being FOUR!

The neighborhood kids gathered to decorate for her. Note: Horns and balloons will never cease to please kids, apparently.

One of her favorite "big boys"

Working our the finer points of birthday horn blowing.

So simple, yet so entertaining.

Our awesome friend Keanna brought markers and coloring books for Isla, which - in turn - became the hit of the party!!

Isla and two of her best pals. She refers to them as "her buddies" it's pretty adorable!

Keanna, coloring. Because adults coloring is all the rage these days!

Don't let the presence of beer in every single photo frighten you. It was for the adults, I swear.

Daddy arriving with her balloons (one of her birthday present wishes) and cake!

Isla opening a very special gift from her buddy, Stormer. Her very own jewelry box. She LOVES it. 

2 x 4 beach jenga blocks also double as construction blocks for beach kids! 

No beach party is complete without sand toys. Darcy and sweet baby Rio playing with Haven.

Making castles. 

Follow the yellow brick road, Haven!

V and A, two of our very awesome boat neighbor kids! Love them.

Haven enjoying her pizza. Side note: this is also usually the only time you don't hear her!  

These three dancing was absolutely adorable!

Isla and the beautiful hand-made wind chime made for her by her pal, Nico. She loves it and it hangs right by her bed.

The Elsa cake was a HUGE hit!

The party in full swing with all her pals around.

Isla and Ellia looking adorable, eating cake. "Shut your mouth, dear" ;)

Give this little sweet pea some balloons and she is good to go. Take them away and LOOK OUT!

Beautiful, goofy Arias!! I think she liked the cake! 

Haven, yelling as usual (she has almost no volume control!), and holding up FOUR for her sister.

This was the OTHER gift Isla asked mommy and daddy for, an Ariel dress. She was, obviously, pleased.  

"Mommy, don't I look beautiful!" You ALWAYS look beautiful honey, because your heart is beautiful!

This picture, though not the best in quality, sums up this wonderful, joyful child. Happy birthday Isla.