How We Got our Groove Back: Piecing together Life Post-Irma

Haven looks at what used to be our home.

Our first charter for our daysail company, Aristocat Charters, was April 10th. It might not seem like a massive announcement in the grand scheme of things, but getting our flailing business back up and running (we lost both our day charter boats to the storm and have been income-less since) was the last piece of the "Irma puzzle" we had to put together to resume life as normal. It's a laughable concept - "as normal" - because life here after hurricane Irma is anything but "normal"... so much has changed. People have left (both by choice and not), "disaster relief" groups have taken their place, buildings are destroyed, construction is booming, tourists are few and far between, new industries and companies have emerged, tides have changed in a million ways, and many lives and livelihoods face uncertainty...The fact that our first charter was six months overdue is just one *tiny* anomaly among many. It's pretty much the same plot line for every single one of us that lives here: adjustment and recalibration is part of the new normal.

Life post-Irma has been an equally strange and amazing time, living in what some might describe as a "disaster area" that, in many ways, has not quite found it's footing is...interesting. From a global perspective, this situation is not unique. Every day there are a whole host of geographical areas effected by natural disasters, wars, and extreme poverty. These are polarizing predicaments, to be sure. But coming from the relatively bubble-wrapped perspective of a privileged "first worlder", this is very unique. Despite the "different-ness" (life will for a long time be discussed in a pre vs. post Irma vernacular), however, the beauty shines through. My heart continues to swell with gratitude every single day that we can live here, our girls continue to thrive in their wild and carefree childhood, and the tourists who have chosen not to cancel their travel plans all echo the same sentiment: "This place is amazing!" Because it is. Sure, you will see a whole host of cars driving around with only plastic for windows with mangled bodies and, yep, you will probably turn to gawk at some buildings who's second floor is no more, and - true - there are some areas where the destruction and damage will be shocking and possibly depressing, but if you can get past that - you will see that so much beauty remains unchanged. And to be able to see beyond the destruction is, I am learning, a gift.

Those of us that live here, we have to see beyond it. We have no other choice. And so we do.

When I lived in Tanzania my best girlfriend from college came to visit. I picked her up from the 8:30pm KLM flight that arrived from Amsterdam in my old beater of a Land Cruiser and we made the long, dark drive back to my house. We chatted and caught up as we passed a flicker of a roadside oil lantern here and there, and I was giddy with excitement to have a visiting fried. The drive to my house was an hour and to get there we passed through a little roadside shanty town to get up the hill to where I lived. I walked or drove through this little neighborhood every day. Ramshackle dirt-floor homes made of propped up corrugated roof bits and sticks, cardboard mats, and whatever was available. Stray dogs, mamas collecting firewood, and barefoot little kids kept a regular buzz of activity along the roadside...it was all very normal to me. "Oh my gosh Brittany!" my friend gasped when the askari (armed guard) closed the car gate behind us. "How could you not warn me about that?" I was confused..."About what?" I asked, perplexed. "That poverty down there" she said with wide, sad eyes. And suddenly it dawned on me: this was NOT normal to her. It was shocking to her. She had never seen anything like it before. To me, however, those were the kids I hugged and high-fived on the way down the hill. Those were the mamas that sold me my daily maize and welcomed me home with a smile. To me, it was normal. My brain had adjusted.

And it's kind of like that here.

This lesson that I learned so long ago and am re-learning again is the amazing ability of the human brain to adapt. I have always wondered how people in war torn areas were able to live day to day, marveled at the horrors of history such as concentration camps and how people persevered, and my heart breaks daily at the thought of losing a child and how parents (like my own mother) go on after such utter devastation ... while our situation absolutely pales in comparison to those above, what I have learned is that people are often stronger than we think. And when you don't have a choice, your brain does this amazing thing: it adapts. "If you don't bend you break" is a mantra that has resonated with me for a long time - and as a very "type A" person it's not always an easy one for me to embody - but life post-Irma has taught me that more than anything. You need to be flexible. You need to be patient. You need to bend. Choices are a gift, for sure. But when they go away, you learn to work with - and appreciate - what you have. And you go on.

Do not get me wrong, our family is by no means "choice-less" in the literal sense, we are still very much in the top percent of the world's population, but leaving this place would mean abandoning a dream, a life we love, and it would set us back financially in a very significant way. We, in our thought process, had no choice but to stay and try to salvage what we could of our life and business. Irma took us out at our knees; we were at the top of our game, making more money that we had even predicted and growing our business in leaps and bounds. Last season was a record breaker for Aristocat Charters and this season was on track to break that by a LOT...we were doing so well and excited about future plans and goals, dreaming big travel dreams and plotting some exciting getaways. Irma changed all that over the course of a few hours but focusing on the past and how good we had it is easiest way to sink into an anxiety ridden depression. The only way to look now is forward. And one fact remains: we still have it very good. We still have a wonderful life. We are healthy and have our kids. We live in a beautiful and inspiring (albeit imperfect) place.

Perspective is everything.

"What's it like there now?" people ask me. I tell them that it's different, yes, but there are what I describe as "pockets of normalcy" where things feel okay and even like they were before. The main grocery store is unchanged and fully stocked, the roads are clear and free again, Isla's darling school is a haven of happiness and joy (and looks just as it did pre-Irma), our beloved Nanny Cay Marina - while very different - still feels very much the same and the community here is stronger than ever. These are just a few examples... Every day things get a little bit better.  These are still some of the most beautiful islands on the planet and one of the best places for a water-based vacation. Despite what is a very uncertain future in regards to tourism - not to mention the very real (almost palpable) terror that is inside all of us about future hurricane seasons - I am grateful. Our family - no doubt about it - are some of the lucky ones.

So yes, this past month was a big one for us. Our new boat is here meaning we finally have a place to call our own again (stay tuned for a tour and pics!), our beautiful new (to us) daysail boat for Aristocat Charters is up and running (and arguably better than our other boats!), and life is beginning to feel more "normal". Things are coming together and it feels so, so good. As the islands build themselves back up and nature restores itself, so does the human spirit. We are all of us changed from the hurricanes, but I also believe most of us have a new layer of empathy, understanding and an inner strength that has grown. We have nowhere to look but forward.

Our new home and boat, s/v Sonder

These islands still need help! The best way to show support is to come and visit us! People who have been here since the storm are RAVING about their amazing times on charters...this place is still amazing, awe-inspiring and beautiful - ESPECIALLY from the water. Check out my post for Marinemax about what to expect on your trip. See you soon!

Also, if pictures are your thing and you want to see more - please follow us over on Facebook or Instagram where I post pictures of our life and adventures every day. Thank you!

A Mother's Day Mini-Vacation in Maho Bay and a Nostalgic Awakening

"What do you want for mother's day?" Scott asked me while looking up from his computer. I was making breakfast, the girls were being their usual boisterous selves, and it took me about .02 seconds to reply, "Go to St. John for a night and have brunch in Cruz Bay!" St. John, while part of the United States Virgin Islands (USVI), is a short sail from where we are, and with the blissful haze of our last >>>quick getaway<<< fresh on my mind I was thirsty for more...so thirsty, apparently, that one night away turned into four...

Getting off the Dock: A Recharge, a Refresher and a Water Commute to School

We have had our boat since December and have sailed her only once. Pretty pathetic, right? Thing is, >>>running a business<<< in the islands is a >>>heck of a lot of work<<< (even though the job comes with lots of perks!) and the months have been slipping past. With Scott managing >>>our company<<< and me managing our kids and home life, time flies by with zero effort and no lag. It's been go, go, go around here and we've had one heck of a busy high season with lots of fun stuff in the mix - but one thing we haven't been doing? Sailing.

That had to change...

A Special Day in Trellis Bay: An Artist Community and A Magic Morning

We don't get to East End, home of the eccentric and eclectic Trellis Bay, often. For one thing, it's quite a drive - which I realize is laughable on an island that measures twelve miles by three - but as the car drives, it's a solid 30-40 minutes one way. With three little kids, and a mid-day nap that I will only forego for extremely special occasions - it's hard to justify an hour or more commute for an hour or two of fun. But when our friend, Cem (pronounced "Jem", like the jewel) invited us to see a special artist friend of his, I thought, "Why not!"

That Time We Were Models: Our Shoot with Vineyard Vines

When I opened my (very neglected) inbox and found an email among the unopened hordes entitled "Vineyard Vines Photoshoot" my interest was piqued. I clicked the message and discovered it was from one of their producers, Kerry, asking if we'd like to be featured in their next catalog as part of their "Real People, Real Good Life" campaign.

Um, YEAH!! 

But there were a few things I needed to clarify; namely 1) Scott is ridiculously busy with our business and often not available for a full day so we needed to really hammer down a date and timing and 2) [scrunches up nose] Did she know we had three (*kinda* crazy) kids ages four and under who would most likely have to be present for the shoot and could very well make said shoot end up...well, nuts?

Her response? WE WANT ALL OF YOU!!

Hooray! So I messaged Scott asking whether or not he'd like to partake and braced myself for some flack as Scott is usually not the most enthused about offers like these being that he's the more private of our duo, but I was happily surprised when he came back with "Sure! Sounds fun!"

Game on, Vineyard Vines. Game on!

***

Vineyard Vines, if you have not heard of it, is a Connecticut-based clothing brand that has a full-blown cult following. Their style is preppy and "east coast"; their look decidedly "yachty". People are obsessed with them and for good reason; the clothes are comfortable, well-made, and stylish. The styles are vibrant, fun, and classy... Seriously, check them out - soooo nice. It's not a surprise after having worked with this great company now; the people behind it (who we met at the shoot at least) are incredible.

I communicated a lot with the producers about what they wanted, and had to request that our shoot include a two hour break for the girls to nap (beauty sleep!) as well as blue M&Ms and coconut water in our trailer. I went full diva because, well, I was going to be a model (flips hair). Okay, joking. I did not pull a Beyonce, but I did request that nap time be respected under the preface that nobody wants pictures of my motley crew if we are under-slept! They happily obliged and before we knew it - the day had come.

***

We have never modeled in our lives so had no real idea what to expect (although Scott does a mean "blue steel"). The Vineyard Vines crew flew down en-masse with a crew of about fifteen (maybe a few more?) and at least as many humongous duffles full of clothes, shoes and accessories. Our shoot was to take place in three phases: phase one would be us sailing to the beautiful Peter Island, phase two would take us on the beach at Peter Island Beach club and then finally, phase three, in the luxury villa at the top of Peter Island.

A producer and photographer came to our boat at 7:30am to give us the clothes we were to wear and the general run down of what they wanted. "Just be yourselves," they said, "We have seen your pics. We just want you to be yourselves." Super! Easy enough. The photographer stayed on the boat with us while the producer followed in a chase boat getting video. We sailed as we do, the girls happily playing about, chilled out and very curious with our new crew member, but lucky for all of us, the wind was great, the sail was peaceful and we got to Peter Island for naps. "I cannot believe how well-behaved your girls are" the photographer told us as we docked. "Kids in NYC, they'd never be able to sit like these girls did for two hours without a device or toys. You guys rock!" I took the compliment because, let's be honest, our kids can be downright unruly and rude at times (they are four and two, after all). Thankfully today, they were not those things and they slayed a few hearts. Phew.

After naps we headed to the beach with several other models where we raced the sun to get some shots, because if there is one thing you need for great photos, it's light. We got some fun shots on the beach but, unfortunately, the girls weren't exactly wanting to cooperate with what the photogs had in mind. "Walk in a line from tallest to shortest down the beach" was one request that was absolutely not going to happen with our crew. I joked that the twins basically killed our dreams of being professional models because they simply could not take direction! Luckily the crew, by this time, had fallen in love with our girls so all was forgiven and they let us just do our thing. I think the shots they got turned out pretty good.

Finally, we ended at one of the Villas atop Peter Island where the shoot was to wrap up. OH. MY. GOSH. Peter Island Resort is truly amazing. Just spectacular. If you are looking for an exclusive and incredible place to vacation, this place has you covered. Our villa was top notch. We were greeted by our friend Alec and his gorgeous girlfriend Elsa (who the girls ADORE because: 'Elsa'!) when we arrived. "Welcome to our humble home" he joked as he wrapped his arm around Elsa, "Can I get you a drink?" We got a few more frantic pics as the sun was setting, sipped some wine, had some laughs and then - it was a wrap!

***

The day was better than we could have imagined and we had a total blast. The people at Vineyard Vines - from the photographers to the make up people to the higher's up - are so. much. fun. They were all nice, relaxed, and *so* easy to work with. They doted on and adored the girls (which our kids ate right up!) and we now have these incredible pictures and this wonderful memory filed under "awesome opportunities we were given". We really cannot thank them enough.

If you want to check out the profiles of the other awesome BVI locals and friends in the shoot, check them out here: Real People, Real Good Life.

***

Thank you, Vineyard Vines, for choosing us to work with! We had SO much fun and we love you guys!

And now, for the pics...

First, some behind the scenes shots:

We did raise the sails, but this is leaving the harbor and we were really hoping to dodge the squall. Luckily we did!

One of the producers showing the girls the gear. They loved him.

There were no trailers at this shoot, but big power catamarans. So many clothes, shoes and accessories. And snacks ;)

The "look book" they also had all of the pics of the models (ours included) from Instagram and whatnot, as well as our profiles and outfits.

These shadows were getting in the way of the shoot!

Trying hard to get in some final shots while daylight was still good.

They put on a cartoon for the girls and made them popcorn, it was about 5pm and the wheels were coming off the bus.

We are completely fake laughing here. It seemed appropriate.

Now, for the catalog shots:

We are also on the website:

And Haven and I are on the little mailer that goes out:

And here are some more shots that didn't make it into the catalog:

So You Want to Visit the British Virgin Islands?

Ever since 'officially' relocating to the British Virgin Islands (known more casually as the BVI) I have gotten a flurry of emails from friends, family and followers wondering how to make their tropical vacation dreams come true. If you are one such person, this post is for you!

Before I delve into the details (bearing in mind I am no travel agent and a newbie here myself!), a little bit about this place: The British Virgin Islands are located in the Northeastern Caribbean and feature an archipelago of over fifty islands, cays and islets. We are a quick ferry from St. Thomas or St. John, a short (40 minute) plane ride from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and St. Maarten is an overnight sail to the east. If a tropical paradise is what you are seeking, look no further. The weather here is equatorial - hovering around 82 degrees on average -and the sun shines every day with the heat perfectly moderated by the balmy trade winds that blow daily. The beaches are amazing, the water is spectacular, and the outlying islands beautiful. From kiteboarding to sailing, spa-hopping to lounging, there is truly something for everyone here.

Four predominant islands provide the main attraction to the BVI: Tortola, Virgin Gorda, Anegada and Jost Van Dyke. The capital, Road Town, is nestled in the middle of Tortola - the largest island - which is 12 miles long by 3 miles wide. Each island is unique, with distinguishing vibes and attractions. It's no wonder that every week I meet someone who tells me they've been coming to these parts for twenty years and have no inclination to stop or go elsewhere.

If you are curious about visiting this incredible place dubbed "Nature's Little Secret," then read on and I can help point you in the right direction (hint: it's south). There are many links throughout this article to help you navigate further because, as I said, I am no expert and still am new here myself. That said, here's what I know...

When To Come?
November to May is a great window to visit, with various "high peaks" within that time frame (like Christmas, spring break, etc). This is our "winter" and while temperatures are still hot and tropical (just how we like it!) they are comfortable thanks to the moderating trade winds. While hurricane season technically begins in June and continues through November, vacationers still flock here to take advantage of "off season" pricing. June and July see a boost of the "summer travelers" and the BVI Tourist Board are currently working on ways to make this place more enticing to families during this time by offering "kid free" perks and such. The months of August and September are the slowest (and hottest), and also happen to be the most "active" hurricane months. If you travel within the hurricane window there will always be a risk of a storm putting a real damper on your holiday, so trip insurance might be wise. For more information on when to come, read this article on the Best Times to Visit the BVI.

How To Get Here?
We island hopped here all the way from Chicago the first time we came through, the second time we sailed directly from the Bahamas and the third time we came across from St. Maarten. But I am guessing you are looking for a quicker mode of transport. There are a few ways to get here that I know of, with most people coming first to the main island of Tortola, and getting local ferries to shuttle them to the neighboring islands:

1. Fly direct to Beef Island, Tortola: Because our island is small, our airport follows suit and therefore we cannot host large jumbo jets and planes from the US and Europe. Most flights coming in are on small planes or puddle jumpers from neighboring islands with larger facilities (such as Puerto Rico, St. Thomas or St. Maarten). As such, this option is usually the more expensive because it involves an international flight and a small local flight. Because we travel with small kids we have always gone this route, and typically fly Chicago > Puerto Rico > Beef Island. 
2. Fly to St. Thomas and Ferry to Tortola: The cheaper way to travel here is usually to fly direct to St. Thomas and take a quick, 45 minute ferry over to the British Virgin Islands. While this route is a bit more time consuming and cumbersome, it can save quite a bit of money. You must plan your flight accordingly, however, as ferry times can be limiting so make sure you arrive at the airport with plenty of time to get you down to the ferry dock so you can make your ferry and don't end up having to pay for a hotel in St. Thomas. Also note: YOU WILL NEED YOUR PASSPORTS to get on the ferry. Make sure to have them ready.

Where To Stay?
There are SO many options on every island and I cannot possible outline every one. But people who vacation here usually do one of three things:

1. Charter a boat: There is no doubt that these islands are best explored by water. The BVI are one of (if not the) top charter destination in the world and there is good reason for it. Tropical climate, consistent trade winds and an archipelago of beautiful islands that create a relatively protected body of water all combine to make this place a sailor's paradise. If you already know how to sail, you can easily rent a boat for your vacation. As far as budget is concerned, there are options for every level. The most economical is to bareboat (captain the boat yourself), but pricing will be determined by the size and type of vessel you rent (larger boat = more money, catamaran > monohull, etc.). Don't know how to sail but want to travel by sea anyway? Charter a crewed boat. On these charters you will have a captain and, if you choose, a chef on board. The more crew, the more money you will be spending, and these crewed charters can range from the simple to the luxurious. Do your research and make sure to book in advance. Nanny Cay is home to Horizon Yacht Charters and many of our friends work there, so we can vouch for them. Not into sailing and prefer motor yachts? That's okay too! Our good friends run Virgin Traders (also located here in Nanny Cay), offering luxury powerboats ranging from 44-68 feet for both bareboat and crewed charter.
2. Rent a private Villa or Condo: This is a great option for folks more of the land-lubbing variety. The options are endless, and first and foremost you will want to decide what island you want to stay on, bearing in mind day trips to most islands of the BVI are easily arranged. On Tortola, we work closely with Agape Cottages and can vouch that they have great facilities and are located a short walk from one of the islands's most captivating and bustling beach areas (and my personal favorite), Cane Garden Bay. If you go this route, it might be wise to rent a car as well. Our island doesn't have a bus system and taxis can get expensive. Just remember we drive on the left side of the road!
3. Stay at one of the many fine Resorts and Hotels: Once again, there is no shortage of resorts and hotels here to chose from, all offering an array of services from basic to all-inclusive to serve a variety of budgets. From one star efficiency to five star exclusive, the BVI have it all. We live at the Nanny Cay Resort and Marina which boasts a hotel, pool, beach and child-friendly atmosphere - as well as a bustling marina community- and it's a great option for the more budget conscious. Looking for something a little more special? Surfsong Resort, Long Bay Beach Club and Sugarmill Hotel are amazing places that offer five star services and accommodations for the most discerning of traveler. But don't stop there, there are so many options - do some research and find what would be the best fit for your budget, time frame and travel companions.

What To Do?
While some might simply want to unplug and get a healthy dose of R&R during their stay here (and there is no shame in that!), if you are the more active type who isn't prone to lounging - there are plenty of activities to keep you busy! Filling a week with activity to counter the 'chill-out' vibe that is so prevalent here will be no problem. Here are just a few suggestions that will be sure to fill your days and leave you wanting more:

1. Dive into Pardise  - The water here is amazing and the diving and snorkeling excellent. There are a ton of dive companies, and every main island has at least one to chose from. Blue Water Divers is located here at Nanny Cay, and have a great range of trips from night dives to wreck dives.
2. Beach Comb - the beaches here are amazing. Whether you like the bustling vibe of a beach lined with chairs and bars, or prefer your own private paradise - it's all here. Grab a towel, kick off your flip flops and enjoy.
3. Island Hop -  Aside from the five main islands of the BVI, there are about fifty others to explore. Rent a day boat or hop aboard the Rebel Yell Power Catamaran and explore! You can hit the beaches and bars of Jost van Dyke during the day, head for sundowners and the nightly Tarpon show at Saba Rock, explore the magic and mystery of The Baths on Virgin Gorda, or zip over to Cooper Island Beach Club for a killer dinner...the options are endless!
4. Party Hardy - One thing we know how to do here is party. And where do we party? Beach bars. Some of the most famous shoreside haunts in the world are located right here in the BVI. Jump off the legendary Willy T at Norman Island (technically not a beach bar, but a floating bar!), listen to live bands or Foxy himself at Foxy's or swim up to the Soggy Dollar Bar on Jost van Dyke, and dance your heart out at Myett's on Tortola. If a rum-fueled party is what you seek, you have struck gold here! If you are really looking to throw down, time your trip with the full moon and party at the infamous Bomba Shack or any number of full moon parties these islands offer. Oh, and don't forget to sample our famous local drink - the Painkiller, it's delicious. But be careful, mixers are more expensive than rum here so they pack a real punch!
5. Water Sports - It's all about the water, and here - fun on the water is never far. You can learn to Kiteboard in Virgin Gorda, rent a paddle board in Cane Garden Bay, sail a Hobie Cat at the Bitter End and, if conditions are right, you can even catch a world class surfing wave here! Of course the snorkeling is awesome just about everywhere, so don't forget the mask and snorkel and jump in to have your mind blown!
6. Learn to Sail - Dreaming of sailing off into the sunset but don't quite know how to sail yet? Minor detail! Why not learn to sail while you are here? There are a number of great sailing schools that offer anywhere from one day to week long courses. Tortola Sailing School offers a whole host of American Sailing Association accredited courses, as does the Rob Swain Sailing School (which is located right here at Nanny Cay) - request my bad-ass friend, Keanna, as an instructor! If you are a woman and would prefer to learn in the company of other females, then the Sistership Sailing School (also at Nanny Cay!) is for you! Warning: Learning to sail in paradise has long-lasting side effects and you might just sell it all and end up on a boat like we did!
7. Partake in a Local Event or Festival - Islanders like to have a good time, and the BVI are no exception. Enjoying a local event is a great and unique way to experience a place. There are a ton of local festivals, events and regattas to enjoy - check out the schedule and see if there are any that coincide with your visit, or that you'd like to plan your trip around!
8. Hike the Hills - If you want to stretch your legs and get some exercise here, hiking is a great way to do it. Tortola, the largest of all the islands, has some great hikes - most of which are on or around the beautiful Sage Mountain National Park. But you can find a trail to explore on most any island.
9. Day Sail - If you are vacationing on land, you *MUST* book a day, or several days, to get out on the water and see some of the other islands. A great way to do this is by booking a day sail and (*cough cough*)... and we just so happen to run the #1 Day Sail Company in the BVI, Aristocat Charters. Our trips are full day, include three stops and are all inclusive... soda, beer, rum punch and a freshly prepared (and very delicious) buffet lunch are all included, as are the snorkel equipment and paddleboards. Did I mention we have the best crew in the BVI as well? Because we do! Bring a towel and some sunscreen, and be prepared to have the best day of your BVI vacation with us!
10. Rest and Relaxation - Sometimes, people come to our neck of the woods to unwind and do nothing. Pamper yourself at one of the many full-service spas here and enjoy the many amenities of the fabulous resorts. If lounging by the pool with that book you've been meaning to read is all you want to do while you are here, then do it. Park yourself somewhere with a beautiful view, feel gentle breeze on your skin, bask with the sun on your skin and simply relax. You deserve it.

I hope this is helpful for those of you considering the BVI for your next vacation. We absolutely love living here and sharing this place with others is a pleasure, so we hope to see you down here sooner than later! Remember, the lower the latitude, the better the attitude...

Other resources:
BVI Tourism
Ultimate BVI
BVI Newbie
Escape BVI
BVI Tour Center

Why We Chose to Live in the British Virgin Islands

"I could see us living here." I muttered those six words to Scott in a wistful haze while driving along the main road here, which might just be one of the most scenic roads in the British Virgin Islands. As we rambled along the waterside with the windows down; warm breeze in our hair and hot sun on our faces, I gazed out at the cyan horizon, dreamy islands dotting my periphery, and imagined what it might be like to call this place "home". All my life I have wanted to live on a island - and in my travels I have always gravitated towards small, expat communities in rustic towns; islands in their own right...I can't put my finger on why this is - but I know that I find comfort in cultural diversity, eccentric characters, flexible rules and tight-knit community. This was in 2013 and Scott and I had been up and down the windward and leeward island chain twice before this particular stopover, visiting almost all islands in between, but for the first time since we left in 2010 I got a hankering that putting down some roots might be a good idea. It was the first place that felt kind of like home.

Cruising as a lifestyle was wonderful in many ways (ways which are well documented on this blog), but there were elements of it that were draining on us. For one, money was becoming an issue. Being a gypsy is wonderful for the soul, but tough on the pocketbook. Then there was the anxiety of always being at the mercy of mother nature, a stress that was a very regular and daily thing. Maintaining our boat - particularly with a baby on board - was proving difficult to stay on top of...and, finally, sailing had become more of a chore - a means to get from one place to another - than a pleasure. Then again, there were so many elements that we still loved about the cruising lifestyle; island culture, being at anchor, the constant ebb and flow of new and interesting people in our lives, a strong sense of community and belonging, and a feeling of living more simply while getting back to nature... We weren't ready to give it up and "swallow the anchor" as it were, but we needed a change. For these reasons (and others) we decided to call the British Virgin Islands home.

But why *these* particular islands? Well, finding a 'home' is as subjective as finding a mate, but here's why we chose it:

1) They are (almost) perfectly located. First and foremost, this body of water is very protected. We don't need to worry about wind and waves nearly as much as we have had to in other places. Then there is the fact that we can cruise to any number of islands and drop our anchor in a host of beautiful bays in a matter of hours. Here in the British Virgin Islands (BVI's), there are four main islands (Tortola, Virgin Gorda, Anegada and Jost Van Dyke) to explore, but aside from those - there are fifty other tiny islands that make up this chain. Not to mention that the US Virgin Islands and the Spanish Virgin Islands - all amazing in their own right - are a simple day sail away. I say they are "almost" perfect because, as with all things, their convenience comes at a price - and that price is the fact that we lie smack-dab in the middle of the hurricane belt. Not a big issue for vacationers, but considering we now own three boats here - it's something that adds a little yin to the yang.

2) Best sailing ever. There's a reason thousands upon thousands of people flock here every year to come and sail. This place offers some of the best sailing on the planet, with consistent strong trade winds and a body of water that is protected from large waves and ocean swell, and it is awesome. You can sail for the sake of sailing here, and no matter what direction the wind is blowing - there is always somewhere beautiful to go and drop anchor. Aside from that, there's a pretty healthy racing community - from lasers to mega yachts - and there's no shortage of cruiser raft ups and regattas to get your fix. Living on a boat here is a real bonus - when we get a few days off in a row, we can move house and enjoy life on the hook for a few days.

3) Great industry. Wherever we settled, we knew we needed to work and we wanted to be in a place rife with opportunity. The fact that Scott is a USCG licensed Captain combined with the fact that the BVI's are home to one of the most bustling charter industries in the world made this a no-brainer. Then, opportunity knocked in the form of a business for sale...Scott and I took an incredible risk and decided to go for it - and the rest is history. Our day charter business was run by great people before us, and - touch wood - we have taken the torch and even kicked it up a notch. We are currently the #1 Day Sail company in the BVI's! Scott's been working like a dog (18 hour days, no joke) but in a year or so we hope to have streamlined our systems so that the work/life balance is more realistic.

4)Developed, but too developed. You can get a great steak here, find a solid five star hotel, get pampered at a top tier spa, see a concert, and get the latest Roxy bikini...but you still feel like you're living on a sleepy island You will not see a single big box store on these roads, no fast food restaurant chains spoil our street views, and - despite the fact that this is a very popular tourist destination and giant cruise ships come into port daily - the BVI's manage to maintain a very authentic, very laid back island vibe. I love that I can go to a surf shop and supplement my wardrobe, but then head up to town and get bbq chicken out of bus on the side of the road. While it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving here, it's perfectly legal to have a beer. Only in the islands does this make perfect sense and, truth be told, I love it. We live life in the slow lane here, the vibe is much more relaxed than back at home, which I think is a good thing. Island time.

5) They don't make it easy to live and work here. So this is kind of a blessing and a curse, but - for us - more of a blessing. The BVI's really run you through the ringer if you plan to live and work here. The amount of paperwork, bureaucracy, interviews and patience you need to get through it all is INCREDIBLE. Our saving grace was the fact that we bought an existing business and (we are told) that made our process slightly easier. If you want to start a business from scratch here? Even harder (and riskier). But if you are patient and mental enough to deal with the difficulties of getting to the finish line - it's pretty sweet. For example, our day charter company is one of three on this island. Three! Competition is there, which is great, but the market is not over-saturated so everyone gets a piece of the pie here. At least it feels that way.

6) So. Many. Families. Children are everywhere! Local kids, expat kids and tourists alike! And where there are children, there are schools, daycares and activity centers. Don't get me wrong, they might not be the type you are used to in the United States or Europe (remember, we are still living on an 'authentic' island here), but either way, there's no shortage of play groups, parks and kiddos for our girls to enjoy. It's lovely and great to be a part of an island community that is so family-centric and while there might not be *as* many organized groups and play areas as there are back stateside, there's no shortage of sand, water and sun - and what more could a child want than that?

7) Good school options. This sort of goes hand in had with #6, but being that we have relocated here for the next five years or more, good schools were something we had to consider. There are several options for private schooling - a Montessori School and an International School - which is what we are leaning towards for our girls. Of course these two options come at a pretty steep price, but we feel that when it comes to laying the foundation for our girls' educations, we need to consider it. While many are curious about home-schooling, I have decided that is not for me at this juncture. If Scott and I were still cruising and if I had another full-time parent with me to give me the mental breaks I need (and want!) then it would be a different story. But as it stands right now, I am a solo parent almost every single day from dawn to dusk and I have my own passions and projects I'd like to pursue right now. So off to school they will go.

8) It's truly paradise. This past summer while on a short break to Big Sur, California (put it on the bucket list if you've never been!) I had a sort of epiphany and determined that living in a visually spectacular place was essential for my well being. I feel most alive, inspired and grateful in habitats where the world fans it's peacock feathers full tilt - and this place is one of them. These islands are some of the most beautiful we have ever been to. The water, the flora, the anchorages, the ridge roads, the beaches, the sleepy villages...it's lovely. Yes, it can be a little crowded from time to time with cruise ship patrons and charter guests, but I have found that I love the buzz and excitement created by the tourists...these folks act as a constant reminder of why I am so lucky to live here and help me to live in the present. Not to mention the fact that once you know your way around, there are plenty of places to retreat here if you want to get off the beaten path. The snorkeling, the diving, the sea life and the beaches - they are all magnificent. Every day I am inspired, every day I am grateful, every day I breath in the beauty with my eyes, heart and spirit and I love it. Will it get old? Possibly. But I doubt it.

9) The Nanny Cay Marina. Okay, we haven't been to every marina in the Caribbean, but we've been to a lot of them and - let me tell you - this one is THE BEST. I honestly don't think we would have chosen to settle here if not for this marina, because it is pretty much the perfect place to live-aboard with kids. I could go on and on why I love it here so much, but first and foremost, it's a one stop shop and offers everything you need: boat yard, grocery store, two restaurants, a couple surf shops, dive shop, proper coffee shop, yacht chandlery, electronics store, a killer beach bar and more! You really don't have to leave to cover all your bases and for that reason, many of us who live here refer to it as "the compound" or "the village". As if that's not enough, there's a beautiful pool and a great little beach where our girls love to play. There is a resort on site so we get a nice mix of locals and tourists passing through, and this place is also home to Horizon Yacht Charters, one of the premier term charter companies on island. All of that is fantastic, no doubt...but the number one reason I love it so much here is the sense of community. This is not only a transient marina, but a place where people live year-round, and there's always a great buzz and 'village mentality' here. We cannot walk ten feet here without greeting someone we know. Our girls run the docks, giving fist bumps and hugs to all the employees; they belly up to the beach bar and ask for juice from their favorite bartender, Deborah, and they are adored by many. It's wonderful. I could probably write a whole blog post on this place but I'll leave it at that for now. It's awesome. I love it.

***

So there you have it. Our reasons for settling here in the BVI and, so far, we have zero regrets. It's still early of course, but we truly love our adopted home. Our "plan" is to live here for another five to seven years, and by then we hope to have enough money in the bank in order to sustain more long-term, far-flung sailing (oh, yes, we're not done with cruising!) Our girls will be around ten and eight by then, which we think would be great ages to take them exploring further afield...then again, that's a long ways away so at the moment, we live, we work, and we enjoy. Life is good!

Christmas in the Caribbean: Getting into the Spirit in Paradise

I love Christmas. It is, bar none, my favorite time of year. While I'd like to say that, despite the lack of snow, it still feels very much like Christmas down here - that would be a lie. But we do have spirit! The main difference (besides the aforementioned lack of snow) is the fact that we aren't surrounded by family as we would typically be this time of year. We're not cuddled in front of a fire watching Christmas movies (possibly my favorite holiday tradition), and Scott is working like mad every single day because right now it's "peak season" down here. The snowy long drives into the homes and arms of loved ones are not in our future for a while, so instead we get to be with the family we "choose" (our friends) and we get into the spirit in other ways.

The girls and I decorated our boat with holiday crafts during our famed week of quarantine, and we're going to be making decorations for our tiny tree (compliments of our best friends, the Sunkissed Soeters) on Christmas Eve, mostly because the twins would no doubt have destroyed any construction paper ornaments we make if we'd done it any sooner. Which brings me to another point of why this year feels a little different; the twins. Haven and Mira are at that very tricky 'in-between' age where they are into EVERYTHING. Crafts are difficult (at best) to complete, and watching a Christmas movie with them? Forget about it! These babies don't sit still! Baking cookies with them? Insanity! They're too young to even understand Christmas, so there's not a ton of pressure to 'make it magical' for them not to mention the fact that we are outside, and not in our boat, 90% of their wakeful hours. Isla, however, does get it and I'm trying to keep the spirit going for her as best I can.

We were able to visit Santa before we came down (and before Thanksgiving when there were zero lines and Santa wasn't burned out). I hadn't planned on going but Isla saw him from the mall indoor play park we were at and insisted on paying him a visit. "Mommy! Do you think he will be able to come to our boat?" she asked me with pained eyes. "Of course he will," I told her. "Santa gets to visit all children." "But..." she started with a sad face, "We don't have a chimney." It was decided then and there that we'd make sure Santa knew where to find us. We went right up to him and after a little coaxing, she spoke to him, "Santa...we live on a boat and don't have a chimney. You are going to have to come through our companionway. Is that okay? Can you still come see us?" Our awesome Santa gave a hearty laugh, told his Elf to take some notes and said, "Where is your boat darling?" Isla told him that we lived on Tortola and that our boat was blue and named 'Asante'. He then told her that he used to live on a boat in Hawaii in the summers with Mrs. Claus and that he actually had a dinghy! "I will take my dinghy to your boat!" he told her with a smile. Isla's eyes lit up and she looked at me with a beaming grin. "And don't you worry," he continued, "I can get on your boat and come through your cockpit to see you. My Elf has taken notes and I will not forget you!" After that, the girls all sat on his lap and Isla told him she wanted a stuffed Hello Kitty doll for Christmas, gave him a big hug and we were on our way. The relief she felt was so obvious, I had no idea she was so worried about him not being able to visit. Point for the spontaneous Santa encounter - it was all she talked about for days. "Santa has a dinghy!" she'd excitedly tell anyone who would listen.

We're also keeping spirit alive in other ways...Our Elf, Crispin, has followed us to the boat, and while I completely forgot to move him during our crazy week of illness, he has come back to life and been sneaking around our boat each evening, finding a new spot to hide (easier than you'd think on a small boat!) where he can watch the girls during the day and report back to Santa in the night. We listen to Christmas Carols and this morning made some Christmas cards for a few of our favorite friends and marina employees (you better believe the beach bar is getting one! Our girls are bellied up to it every day!) Darcy and I are going to do a little beach "treasure hunt" on Christmas day for the kids (our hubbies will be working) and her and I are also planning a beach pot-luck for our families and anyone else who wants to join. My cousin, Emily, is flying in to be with us and we're hoping to spend time with our good friends Jody and Peter from Where the Coconuts Grow as well. We will also be writing him a detailed note and thank you to Santa tomorrow. As well as leaving him some cookies and carrots for his reindeer.

We are also talking a lot about the "spirit" of Christmas and what it really means, namely: being with the people you love, saying "thank you" for what you have, and helping others. We don't go crazy on gifts over here, just a few small things for each girl - and they're not expecting much because we've never gone crazy for Christmas. It's all about family, friends, and love. That's what matters most. Gifts are just icing on the cake.

So that's what our Christmas will look like down here. As much as I miss the crackling fire, eggnog, jumbo cocktail shrimp and being surrounded by family in a warm and cozy home, I'm definitely happy to be here and - honestly - I don't miss the snow one bit. The beach will do me just fine!

Merry Christmas, everyone. Much love from our family to yours. May all be Merry and Bright! xoxo

Reindeer footprint decorations.

Christmas cards ready to be delivered! 

Simple ornaments strung up (out of the reach of the twins) on our indoor Christmas lights.

Some of our home-made decorations. 

Ornament colored by Mira.

Our sneaky Elf, Crispin, on the lookout for good behavior! 

Our boat as decked as we can be this year, with our tiny tree ready to be decorated tomorrow morning.

Christmas in the Caribbean

Snowbirds fill the air

Christmas in the Caribbean

Lots of presents everywhere

We don't live in a hurry

Send away for mistletoe

Christmas in the Caribbean

We got everything but snow.

- Jimmy Buffett

Why Are We Still Landlocked? Lessons in Patience. And Island Time.

(note: this is easier said than done!)

Some of you might be wondering why the heck we are still residing in a guest home in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago right now. "I thought they were going back to the boat in October?" you might be saying to one another. And you would be right. We were heading back to the boat in October. And it's now November. What gives?

While I can't disclose *all* the information as it pertains to operation "hiatus extendo" just yet, I can tell you that we are awaiting work permits for the British Virgin Islands (BVI's) and that the process has taken a little bit longer than anticipated. And, yes, we thought we accounted for "island time" in our planning. Turns out, our version of  "island time" appears to be on, well, "island time." Patience is a virtue...particularly if you want to live on a boat in the Caribbean.

"Why not just head back down to Tortola now?" you might say. And, boy, I wish it were that simple. We are chomping at the bit to get back to our boat but - alas - while work permits are in the processing stage, we are not allowed to be in the country. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but those are the rules and - well - we don't want to break any rules or tick off the wrong person while applying for employment, you know?

It's been stressful because there are a lot of people effected by our getting work permits and all of us are in a state of limbo which, as I have written before, is not a great place to be. However, in the grand scheme of things - as one friend so eloquently put it - this is a "fancy" problem to have, so we are keeping perspective and trying to keep a positive attitude while we do so. There is no real indication as to when, exactly, we will hear, but it could come any day and Scott is packed and ready to leave at a moment's notice.  The girls and I will follow shortly after, hopefully with my mom as the very necessary extra set of hands for the two flight saga. We are really hoping to hear good news soon as this next chapter of our lives is something we are very eager to start - and share with you.

So that is our story right now. I hope to have more news for you on this front, but until we get the 'thumbs up' - mum's the word.

Patience. (Sigh)

Cruising Perspectives: Fourteen 'Side Effects' of Living on a Boat

Note: I was invited to write this post back in June of 2013 (!?!?!) by the lovely Tammy of Things we Did Today for the great 'hive mind' site, The Monkey's Fist. I am only now getting back to it with the time to flush it out. Check out other blogger's takes on this great subject here.

Living on a boat: it doesn't take a genius to realize this is very different from living on land. There are a million ways in which the cruising and/or live-aboard lifestyle differs from that of a land-lubbing existence, too many to list in fact. Living on a boat is certainly no utopia, but it can be pretty great - and many of us find that we have strengths we never knew we had, hobbies we never knew we loved, and skills we didn't think we possessed. These are great perks of the lifestyle. Then, there are some other more unexpected things we get from the lifestyle, I call these: side effects.

Here are 14 "side effects" that I have experienced from five years of boat life:

1. Water usage: Sure, we have a high output water-maker and carry 120 gallons on our boat. But still, even that is a finite and limited supply and must be monitored so as not to run out. Remember that time I carried 60 gallons of water to refill our tanks? I have not forgotten it. Even on land we use water sparingly and letting a tap run for any extended length of time feels wrong. Letting it run while you don't need it, i.e while brushing teeth or in-between doing dishes? That's just criminal.

2. Storage Envy: Houses are full of pretty right angles and nice, square (or rectangular) storage spaces. THIS IS A LUXURY, PEOPLE. Boats have none of those things. We have oddly shaped 'cabinets' and 'cubbies' which make general storage annoying, difficult and - in some cases - impossible. We have gear stuffed so deeply in the rabbit-hole recesses of our boat I'm pretty sure we'll never see them again (in fact, we never did find that spare mast-head light in our last boat...). Gear is stored on a priority basis because you simply have no other choice - which means items used daily or regularly are semi-easy to get to, and things that you don't use daily or regularly require blood, sweat and sometimes tears to get to. All those years of playing Tetris paid off. Luckily, our Brewer has a ton of storage - but even still, it's a struggle to get to and when I see boats with nice, big closet-like spaces (cough-catamarans-cough), I get a little twitchy.

3. Everything is a Compromise: I just mentioned that our boat has a ton of storage, and it does. But guess what? It comes at the cost of living space. The sides of our boat are so chalk-full of cubbies and cabinets, that our living area is significantly more narrow to accommodate it. Boats who are smaller in size, can end up feeling much bigger than ours because of this. That is just one of a MILLION examples I could give you. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING on a boat is a compromise. You install a freezer, you become a slave to your generator. You spring for the wind generator, you get the noise. You re-configure for more galley storage, you loose your microwave. And on and on it goes. Be prepared. Nothing comes on or off the boat that doesn't have a price, both literally and figuratively.

4. Spacial Awareness: When you buy anything for your boat, the first things you will think about is, "Do we have room for this?" and secondly, "Where will this go?" because, at least on our boat, the golden rule is: A place for everything and everything in it's place. This comes very easy to me because I am by nature an incredibly OCD 'tidy' person, but for those of you who are less inclined to put things away, going sailing will be a messy ordeal because, NEWSFLASH: boats are prone to rocking side to side and items not stored properly can and will go flying. 

5. Power Struggles: When you are not concerned with space, you will be concerned with power. Amp hours are another limited commodity on a boat, and even though we have a nice array of solar panels and a decent sized battery bank, we still need to run our generator from time to time to keep up with our energy needs. Rare is the boat that has all their power requirements met by sun and wind day in and day out. Want to bring aboard that Vitamix blender that you love? First of all, see #4 (space) and second, better check out how much juice that thing will suck out of your batteries. Before you buy that system or appliance, you will (or should) be wondering "What does this draw?"

6. Hoarding: I realize this sort of contradicts #4 (space), but hear me out...Living on a boat where simple chores like grocery shopping can become one hell of an ordeal, not to mention the fact that certain places don't have certain things, mean that you try to stock up when and where you can. The Exumas in the Bahamas had grocery stores that looked like they came right out of socialist Russia and the grocery stores in the smaller islands of the windwards had cans on the shelves that were over ten years old! When you get somewhere with good bounty, you'll want to stock up. The same applies to boat parts/supplies. If we order a new "O" ring for our generator's heat exchanger, you better believe we're ordering an end cap, gasket, cover and capscrew as well, and two of each!

7. You Wait for the 'Other Shoe to Drop': I wish we could say we were in the types of cruisers that falls under the 'minimalist' category, but we are not. While Scott could probably swing that way, I like certain creature comforts. I love our water-maker. I love our generator. I love our engine. I love our cockpit speakers. I love our refrigerator. I love our AC (at the dock.) These things make our boat more comfortable and livable for us but, sadly, they come at a price (see #3 - compromise).  As much as we appreciate these systems, they are prone to breaking. They say a cruising boat is in good order if 80% of it's systems are running and truer words were never spoken. It is ALWAYS something. ALWAYS. From the mundane (polishing ever-rusting stainless) to the disastrous (a leaking fuel tank) you will never not have something to fix.  As the 'worrier' of our duo, I'm always looking ahead and wondering, "What's it gonna be next?" The windlass? The stereo? The main halyard? The autopilot? Scott always says, "We're always just one ring-ding away from disaster!" Sad, but true. Boats break. A lot.

8. Heightened senses: An odd vibration under foot, a faint waft of an unusual odor, a dull yet different sound emitting from the engine? All of these things will not only put you on high alert, but set you into action to figure out "why?" You will grow to know every creak and groan your boat makes, you will be unusually familiar with the 'normal' vibrations of your engine and you will know *immediately* if any of your pumps, from those in your bilge to those in your water maker, are acting up. On a boat ignoring these sounds, feelings and odors can be detrimental so you'll be hyper aware of it all. Fun fact: You'll also be able to predict wind speed within a knot or two based on the sounds it makes through your rig. 

9. Resourcefulness: The need to be 'resourceful' has been a bit atrophied in this day and age when we can pretty much have whatever we want or need in a matter of hours, but in the islands this is not the case. Sometimes (actually, a lot of times) we must improvise. Lack of facilities, under-stocked stores, and public holidays are all things that can wreak havoc on you getting that part, talking to that agent, or finishing a project. As such, you need to be resourceful and use what is on hand. Scott has become a veritable McGuyver as a result of living on a boat and his handiness is a mega asset.

10. Hitting the Road (on foot): We walk, a lot. It's so funny to me how little islanders walk or how they seem to judge distance. A very normal conversation will go like this: Us: "Excuse me, but could you point us in the direction of the grocery store?" Islander: "You're not walking, right? It's too far to walk!" Us: "How far, would you say?" Islander: "Oh, I don't know...a really long way." Us: "Okay, well, we like to walk - is is this way?" Islander: (Shaking head with a laugh) "Okay, yes - just up that road there..." And then we walk and it's, like, two miles away. But, yeah, when we're moving around on land we walk a lot to get from point A to point B.

11. Putting it all Out There: Underwear on the line, bras hanging from the the mast, food scraps in a bowl in the cockpit (ready to be tossed overboard later), and sometimes, donning nothing more than our birthday suits, cruisers are not a shy bunch. We tend to put it all out there because, well, we don't really have room to put it any place else. We shower off the back of our boats and sometimes greet our cruising buddies in our underwear. Every year of cruising trades few more social mores/graces for a little more 'heathen' I think.

12. Patience: I am not, by nature, a patient person. It is yet another of my less-than-desirable traits and perhaps the one that I do battle with most regularly as a cruiser because a) a sailboat is S L O W and b) "Island Time" is more real than you can ever possibly imagine. Whether it be having to wait two weeks for your simple package to clear customs (sorry, it arrived during Carnival!) or sailing into the wind and making almost zero VMG for twenty-four hours, living on a boat in the islands will test your patience daily. As a result, you will have no choice but to become more patient or drink a lot to take your mind of the frustration. 

13. Settling for Second Best: When you combine #7 (things break) and #9 (resourcefulness) you sometimes need to settle for a solution that is for sure second-best. Boats are constantly breaking down under the UV of the sun and the corrosion of the salt and unless you have a staff, you will not be able to stay on top of all the work and maintenance your boat needs, meaning you will get used to having certain things not working and/or not looking pretty. Our teak toe rails are a disaster. In fact, all teak on our boat - both inside and out - needs a good re-doing, but we just don't have the money or time right now. And that's okay.

14. Bi-Polar Tendencies: And finally - if you are anything like we are - living on the water will make you bi-polar. You will, at times,  have a love/hate relationship with: your boat, the ocean, the lifestyle, the islands and (most likely) your spouse. High highs and low lows across the board. We can't have it all, right?

Sorry I was so ridiculously late Tammy! Thanks for the great thought-provoking post idea!