Island Life: The Good, Bad, and Quirky

The "idea" of living on an island evokes a bit of envy and turquoise tinted mental pictures for a lot of people. But just like most things, the 'idea' of something and the 'reality' of it can be very, very different. While I will be the first to tell you that I absolutely love my island home and island life in general, there's a lot more to it than beautiful beaches, tropical slushy rum drinks and cotton-candy colored sunsets (though we do have those things in spades!)...I've written before about >>> how to determine whether or not island life might be for you <<< , but just for fun, here' are some ways that island life on my rock is very different from life back stateside...


1) Lack of abundance: There are no malls, no big box stores, and our grocery stores pale in comparison to those back home. Finding affordable quinoa or natural peanut butter is very difficult and there is less of just about everything on a small island. We island mom's talk excitedly in dreamy, coveting tones about Whole Foods or Trader Joes the way other mom's might gush over that 50 Shades trilogy (...that I have not read). The prospect of shelves upon shelves of organic, wholesome goodness is that exciting for us. Clothes? Again, limited choices unless you dress like a 26 year old from San Diego (which I do). Household goods? Not many options for good, quality stuff but lots of plastic crap from China marked to about triple what it should cost. Life on our rock is expensive because of this but it's the price we pay because what we do we have an abundance of? Beaches, boats and bars. Not a bad trade.

2) Kids wear school uniforms: Here, every single school child wears a uniform. Period. IT. IS. AWESOME. Can someone please explain to me why the United States has not adopted this practice?!?! Dear GOD! Getting my kids dressed in decent, practical clothing is easily one of the most unpleasant parts of my day (they either want to wear completely ridiculous things like socks and leggings to the beach or underware on their head with a princess dress to dinner - which I let them most of the time - or they (Mira) want to wear the same exact ratty, dirty, threadbare thing every. single. day). I can only imagine that this fortitude and pension for 'style' gets more awful determined as we near the teen years (face palm) but, honestly, my uber independent daughters dress themselves and it drives me nuts. School uniforms save me just a little bit of headache and a hell of a lot more time on school days. Plus, they look pretty adorable. AMEN for school uniforms. I dread ever living somewhere without them.

3) Rules are more lax: I have seen numerous signs around Tortola that say you are not allowed to smoke in public places. I have also seen more smokers on this island than I have seen since my pre-smoking ban bar days in Chicago. There is a "strict" helmet law, yet only one out of every four motor scooter drivers is wearing a helmet. And good LORD do not start me on parking. A parking lot here looks like a mini glimpse into the collapse of society. Full-blown anarchy. Every man for himself. When it says "no parking", people will freely park. Even better, if you are parked in a perfectly legal spot, it is not unusual for someone to park right in front of you, blocking you in completely for anywhere from ten minutes to over an hour. This incredibly selfish practice is not only commonplace, but pretty infuriating to all residents, and yet nothing is ever done about it. Why? I have yet to see a tow truck or a car ticketed for this. No consequences? Behavior remains the same. Sigh.

4) Livestock roams free: You will not see one single squirrel here on Tortola, but a drive to town or up on the ridge road will present you with a whole host of farm animals. Chickens run free all over the place, goats regularly hold up traffic, and driving by a cow lounging on the side of the road with her calf is no big deal. Donkeys and horses used to be the main mode of transport around here until fairly recent history so you will see plenty of those as well, though their physical states might make you shudder...which brings me to my next point...

5) Animal cruelty and brutality is everywhere: Treatment of animals here is atrocious. Period. I'm not one to hate on my rock, because I love it here so very much, but animal cruelty and abuse is rampant and if you are a true-blue animal lover, you will probably have your heart broken daily here. I don't even want to tell some of the stories I have heard but suffice it to say: it's really bad.

6) You can drink while driving: Yes, you read that correctly. While you technically cannot drive 'drunk' (see #3), driving with an open alcoholic bev in the car is totally acceptable. Do not talk on the phone or skimp on clicking your seat belt, but go ahead and fix yourself that rum and coke before you hit the road. Welcome to the land of the roadie my friends, it's a nice place to be.

7) Drivers and Roads are Insane: Let me preface this by saying that I have been pulled over for "driving with intent to kill" (no, I was not, it's actually a classification after going over the speed limit a certain amount), ticketed for "reckless driving" and I had my license suspended for a year. I spent many years weaving in and out of traffic in the city of Chicago where I gained some legit "aggressive driving" chops. My point in telling you all this? I AM NO GRANDMA BEHIND THE WHEEL. But here? I literally get road rage several times a day because the drivers here are the very worst I've ever experienced in all the world (and I've driven in Rome, Bangkok and East Africa, to name a few). They are careless and downright terrifying. They fly around blind corners at mock speeds, pass on narrow roads, and play chicken daily. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to avoid what would have been terrible accidents had it not been for me swerving out of the way or breaking suddenly. The roads are just as bad: barely wide enough for two cars to safely pass, featuring hair-pin turns that make your hair curl and hills that are so steep they make your feet and palms sweat. Island driving is not for the faint of heart.

8) Hitch Hiking is normal: Hitch hiking is not only normal, but the way many islanders rely on getting from point A to point B. For one, there is no public transportation here (gripe alert!), which is a real bummer. And secondly, cars are not affordable to everyone and many people don't know how to drive, so every drive on our rock will having you passing hitchhikers standing on the side of the road, casually pointing a finger in the direction they want to go. I have picked up children on their way to school, women on their way home from work, and men headed to their jobs. It's a fun way to get to know people and I've heard some incredible stories from hitchhikers. I also think it's showing my girls an important lesson in kindness, as more often than not they are in the car with me when I pick up people.

9) Village Mentality of Islanders: Living on our particular island is not unlike living in a small town. Most everyone knows one another in some, way, shape, or form and a trip to just about anywhere will have you running into someone you know. Being anonymous here is not really an option. Because of this, there is very much a "village" mentality when you live on a small island, we tend to stick together to help one another out. We are all in a similar boat (no pun intended) and whether it be mom's helping out other mom's or simply picking up a hitchhiker as described in #8, we are all part of this community and we all want to see it be the best it can be.

10) Kids are more free-range: I've talked about how I tend to >>> lean more in the direction of "free-range"<<<  as opposed to helicopter parent and I realize this is largely due to the fact that we live in a very safe community where this is easily done. Kids hitchhike to school, it's not unusual to see an older sibling caring for his or her baby sibling, and young kids running free on the beach with their parent keeping a safe distance is very, very normal. Our girls skinny dip regularly, kick off their shoes at every chance they get, and are full of bumps, scrapes and bruises from being outside every day. Our community is relatively small and we all know one another so there are many sets of eyes on our children. I feel really lucky to be able to give our kids the freedom they want and need and the ability to do this is a large reason we chose to live where we do. I've had a lot of conversations with other parents who child-rear in a similar way and agree that we live in a very special place where times are simpler, where kids can be kids, and where there is no need >>> or social pressure <<< to helicopter.

11) Very little to do outside of beaches, boats, and bars: A certain type of person might find themselves very bored living here full time (pretty much everyone >>> loves to vacation here <<<). There are not many restaurants, no winery tours, no theater district, no dance clubs, few coffee shops, no indoor play lands, no malls, no theme parks, no museums and - in general - outside of nature and outdoorsy stuff related to all things water, there's really not much to do here. Taking a stroll 'downtown' is not something that yields much of anything and if you don't enjoy beaches, boats, bars and water sports you might find this place a bit of a yawnfest. Many of us, however, chose to live here in spite of this and actually enjoy the sleepiness of our rock: there's less distraction and fewer things pulling us every which way. You can relax and unplug here. The focus is more on making simple fun with your community; picnics on the beach with friends, dinners at people's homes, and DIY parties...Though, not going to lie, I'd really love there to be a dance club here where I could go with my girlfriends!

Those are just a few of the ways living on my rock differs from living back on the mainland. Some are weird and funny, some are frustrating and sad, but it's all part of the reality of #islandlife.

If you'd like to see pretty pictures of life on our rock, feel free to follow us on:

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That Time We Were Models: Our Shoot with Vineyard Vines

When I opened my (very neglected) inbox and found an email among the unopened hordes entitled "Vineyard Vines Photoshoot" my interest was piqued. I clicked the message and discovered it was from one of their producers, Kerry, asking if we'd like to be featured in their next catalog as part of their "Real People, Real Good Life" campaign.

Um, YEAH!! 

But there were a few things I needed to clarify; namely 1) Scott is ridiculously busy with our business and often not available for a full day so we needed to really hammer down a date and timing and 2) [scrunches up nose] Did she know we had three (*kinda* crazy) kids ages four and under who would most likely have to be present for the shoot and could very well make said shoot end up...well, nuts?

Her response? WE WANT ALL OF YOU!!

Hooray! So I messaged Scott asking whether or not he'd like to partake and braced myself for some flack as Scott is usually not the most enthused about offers like these being that he's the more private of our duo, but I was happily surprised when he came back with "Sure! Sounds fun!"

Game on, Vineyard Vines. Game on!

***

Vineyard Vines, if you have not heard of it, is a Connecticut-based clothing brand that has a full-blown cult following. Their style is preppy and "east coast"; their look decidedly "yachty". People are obsessed with them and for good reason; the clothes are comfortable, well-made, and stylish. The styles are vibrant, fun, and classy... Seriously, check them out - soooo nice. It's not a surprise after having worked with this great company now; the people behind it (who we met at the shoot at least) are incredible.

I communicated a lot with the producers about what they wanted, and had to request that our shoot include a two hour break for the girls to nap (beauty sleep!) as well as blue M&Ms and coconut water in our trailer. I went full diva because, well, I was going to be a model (flips hair). Okay, joking. I did not pull a Beyonce, but I did request that nap time be respected under the preface that nobody wants pictures of my motley crew if we are under-slept! They happily obliged and before we knew it - the day had come.

***

We have never modeled in our lives so had no real idea what to expect (although Scott does a mean "blue steel"). The Vineyard Vines crew flew down en-masse with a crew of about fifteen (maybe a few more?) and at least as many humongous duffles full of clothes, shoes and accessories. Our shoot was to take place in three phases: phase one would be us sailing to the beautiful Peter Island, phase two would take us on the beach at Peter Island Beach club and then finally, phase three, in the luxury villa at the top of Peter Island.

A producer and photographer came to our boat at 7:30am to give us the clothes we were to wear and the general run down of what they wanted. "Just be yourselves," they said, "We have seen your pics. We just want you to be yourselves." Super! Easy enough. The photographer stayed on the boat with us while the producer followed in a chase boat getting video. We sailed as we do, the girls happily playing about, chilled out and very curious with our new crew member, but lucky for all of us, the wind was great, the sail was peaceful and we got to Peter Island for naps. "I cannot believe how well-behaved your girls are" the photographer told us as we docked. "Kids in NYC, they'd never be able to sit like these girls did for two hours without a device or toys. You guys rock!" I took the compliment because, let's be honest, our kids can be downright unruly and rude at times (they are four and two, after all). Thankfully today, they were not those things and they slayed a few hearts. Phew.

After naps we headed to the beach with several other models where we raced the sun to get some shots, because if there is one thing you need for great photos, it's light. We got some fun shots on the beach but, unfortunately, the girls weren't exactly wanting to cooperate with what the photogs had in mind. "Walk in a line from tallest to shortest down the beach" was one request that was absolutely not going to happen with our crew. I joked that the twins basically killed our dreams of being professional models because they simply could not take direction! Luckily the crew, by this time, had fallen in love with our girls so all was forgiven and they let us just do our thing. I think the shots they got turned out pretty good.

Finally, we ended at one of the Villas atop Peter Island where the shoot was to wrap up. OH. MY. GOSH. Peter Island Resort is truly amazing. Just spectacular. If you are looking for an exclusive and incredible place to vacation, this place has you covered. Our villa was top notch. We were greeted by our friend Alec and his gorgeous girlfriend Elsa (who the girls ADORE because: 'Elsa'!) when we arrived. "Welcome to our humble home" he joked as he wrapped his arm around Elsa, "Can I get you a drink?" We got a few more frantic pics as the sun was setting, sipped some wine, had some laughs and then - it was a wrap!

***

The day was better than we could have imagined and we had a total blast. The people at Vineyard Vines - from the photographers to the make up people to the higher's up - are so. much. fun. They were all nice, relaxed, and *so* easy to work with. They doted on and adored the girls (which our kids ate right up!) and we now have these incredible pictures and this wonderful memory filed under "awesome opportunities we were given". We really cannot thank them enough.

If you want to check out the profiles of the other awesome BVI locals and friends in the shoot, check them out here: Real People, Real Good Life.

***

Thank you, Vineyard Vines, for choosing us to work with! We had SO much fun and we love you guys!

And now, for the pics...

First, some behind the scenes shots:

We did raise the sails, but this is leaving the harbor and we were really hoping to dodge the squall. Luckily we did!

One of the producers showing the girls the gear. They loved him.

There were no trailers at this shoot, but big power catamarans. So many clothes, shoes and accessories. And snacks ;)

The "look book" they also had all of the pics of the models (ours included) from Instagram and whatnot, as well as our profiles and outfits.

These shadows were getting in the way of the shoot!

Trying hard to get in some final shots while daylight was still good.

They put on a cartoon for the girls and made them popcorn, it was about 5pm and the wheels were coming off the bus.

We are completely fake laughing here. It seemed appropriate.

Now, for the catalog shots:

We are also on the website:

And Haven and I are on the little mailer that goes out:

And here are some more shots that didn't make it into the catalog:

An Afternoon Away in Cane Garden Bay

We don't get out much these days. And by "out" I mean out of this marina, which I now affectionately refer to as "the village" (after the movie by the same name). With Scott putting in twelve-plus hour days, seven days a week, and me being on my own with the girls most of that time - "unsupported" outings beyond the gates of Nanny Cay are, more often than not, more trouble than they are worth. When Scott got a rare day off, however, we decided on an afternoon to one of our favorite places here on Tortola (and quite possibly the one where we hatched the idea to base ourselves here over rum drinks and a killer sunset), Cane Garden Bay.

The last time we were here I was laying on our paddle board at the shoreline while Isla played in the sand at my feet, when a pretty woman strolling along the beach approached us. I noticed her earlier, walking along the water, intermittently digging her toes through sand as if she was doing some sort of beach-combing. "Have you ever heard of coquinas?" She gently asked Isla. I sat up and we replied we had not. The woman, who I later learned was Liza, then proceeded to dig her foot in the wet, soft sand near the water's edge, and picked up a small clam-like shell. "This is a coquina" she told us. She dropped it back to the sand at which point it quickly burrowed out of sight. Both Isla and I were mesmerized. "Cane Garden Bay is the only beach in the BVI's where I have found them" she said. She then told us of her childhood in Florida where she'd dig for coquinas for hours, collecting them by the bucketful, a hobby that has continued into adulthood. She pointed out her boat and told me she was a fellow cruiser, and we've been friends ever since.

Not only did I gain a new friend that day, but a new beach hobby. Digging for coquinas at Cane Garden Bay is pretty much what we do now at Cane Garden Bay. And, believe me, it's addicting in a therapeutic, calming sort of way. Excavating at the waterline, unearthing one, and scooping it up before either a) a wave gently laps it away or b) it buries itself further into the sand over and over and over again is quite the 'thrill'. Fun for the whole family. So the day that we escaped Nanny Cay and hit up "Cane" (as it is known by locals) was no different. The surf was 'up' because a north swell had been running the few days prior making what is usually a very calm and serene beach more or less un-swimmable for toddlers but decent for coquina hunting. Accompanied by our friends, the Sunkissed Soeters, we hit the beach. The kids lined the surf, digging in the sand and plopping coquinas into buckets while the parents indulged in a little day drinking. More than a couple times the kids were drenched by a rogue breaking wave, but it didn't deter them enough to stop unearthing the clammy treasures.

We chatted with fellow beach goers. Witnessed a beautiful beach wedding. Collected (and set free!) bucket loads of coquinas and ended the day with a casual beach-side dinner with our friends to celebrate a very successful start to our new business. With full bellies we taxied home salty, sandy and happy from a day of fun in the sun. As the high season winds down and Scott and I begin to get a better handle on what sort of staff we need and improve our time management, we hope to have more family outings like this in the future. For now, we'll take 'em when we get 'em.

First order of business, refreshments! 

Stormer and Isla busy digging for coquinas.

Luuck and baby Rio

Mira comes over to check out a coquina. 

Isla couldn't get enough. Here's also a shot of a wave coming in. Usually this bay is flat calm.

The coquina! 

Adding some sand to the bucket to make a "home" for their coquinas. 

Daddy and Mira

Haven loves nothing more than tea parties on the beach!

The kids got front row for the sunset show, always a main event at CGB.

It never disappoints here. 

Two buddies, taking it in. And Isla seemingly getting a little fresh.

These two are "monkey see, monkey do" - one twin squats to pee, the other mimics (neither did, fyi)

Isla playing as the sun begins to set.

The celebration group. Fun day for all!

The Best Cruising Advice in Six Words

"Sail the wind you are in." If I had only six words in which to impart a nugget of advice on a new cruiser it would be these. Sail the wind you are in; literally and figuratively. I wish I did this more myself, because it's easier said than done, but (sigh) I am a work in progress and unfortunately tend to err on the side of stubborn. Nevertheless it's a good bit of wisdom to hold close and pass on. There are times in life when we have a choice: we can struggle and fight against whatever forces oppose us, or simply work with what we've got.  It's a valuable life lesson to heed on both land and sea, and one of the many I have learned in earnest whilst living on a boat.

***

Inspired by the recent New York Times contest calling for parenting advice in 'six words or less' which was, itself, inspired by the new book The Best Advice in Six Words: Writers Famous and Obscure on Love, Sex, Money, Friendship, Family, Work, and Much More- I wondered what the best cruising advice might be in six words? It began as a fun sort of challenge for myself, with me coming up with the unoriginal quote above. But then I thought, what six words would other's say? I turned to the 'hive mind' of my internet cruising tribe and asked. Turns out, there can be a hefty dose of wisdom in a few short words. Some of this advice is specifically related to boating, some is tongue in cheek, and some just for a laugh - but many of these succinct pointers offer condensed, gritty intelligence which can be applied to life in general, so landlubbers, no need to hit the 'back' button just yet.

Here are (six) words of wisdom from people who have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Take it or leave it.

A special thank you to my fellow "Women who Sail" for chiming in and playing along with such creativity, humor and thoughtfulness. Enjoy!

***

Never sail on a (f*****g) schedule. - Melody of Mondo Vacilando

Keep the water out, people in. - Diane Partyka

You will never be the same. - Lisa Carswell Presnell
Don't let the naysayers squelch you. - Behan of Sailing Totem

Find your tribe and stay connected. - Caitlyn Harris

Time is our most valuable asset. - Dawn Brinker
Do no harm, take only pictures. - Jane Greico

Always make room for the wine.  - Melody of Mondo Vacilando

Don't wait another day, just GO! - LeeAnn Buse

Those hours of varnishing paid off.  - linda Gurth Hildreth

Throw the lines, don't look back. -Nellie Reynolds Symm-Gruender

Need to be where you are. - Susan Kohler Macdonald

Don't "plan" yourself out of cruising... - Shari Wynd

(Your) Life revolves around the weather! - Janel Seier

Get out and live life now! - Denise Rendazzo Allen of Get Out and Live Life

Pick a date and just go! -Stacy of s/v Smitty

Keep it simple, keep it safe. -Michelle of Simply Afloat

Go where the wind takes you. - -Monique of Drakes Paragon
Do not flush the toilet paper. - Jennifer E. Kroon

Get rid of all your stuff. - Kristin Miller of Happy Sailing

You'll make mistakes, it'll work out - Jessica Johnson of MJ Sailing

Go now, you'll never regret it! -Sherry McCampbell
Home is where the boat is. - Theresa of Pilot Discretion

Doesn't kill you? Makes you stronger. - Lauren of Seabiscuit

No calendar, no clock, clean bottom. - Cheryl McCormak Baker

Don't wait until it's too late. - Deb of The Retirement Project

Extensive boat work in exotic places! - Dani S. Mith of Latitude Adjustment

Step off the map, find adventure! -Monique of Drakes Paragon

Not what you think it is! - Allison Kelly Gabel

Plans in sand at low tide. -Stacey Hoopes

Shit happens. It's always an adventure. - Duwan Dunn of Make Like an Ape Man

Every latitude has a different attitude. - Keanna Coral Rink

Have fun, be safe, live life. - Vicki of Astrolabe Sailing

Uncharted territory never felt so good. - Kelly Hull

See you somewhere south of somewhere. - Alex of Sailing Banyan
Own your boat in your name. -Cyndy Carter

Plan A, Plan B, Plan C. - Marla Hedman

Should have done it years ago... - Karen of Dreamtime Sail

Cruising is like living everywhere else! - Tammy of Things we did Today

Feeling puny under a starlit sky. - Linda Gurtz Hildreth

Keep the maintenance low as possible. - Eric of Rebel Heart
Well we haven't killed ourselves yet! - Robyn of Smart Moves Adventures

When in doubt, let it out! - Dave Pitcher

Being a little crazy isn't enough. - Byn of Oh Sail Yes

(You gotta) Go with the flow! - Hanneke Tiddens-Pot

Not all who wander are lost - Tracy from Plane to Sea

A bigger anchor promotes better sleep - Jan Saukko
Bring some chapstick and extra sunglasses. -Charlotte of Rebel Heart

Choose destination or date, not both. - Tasha from Turf to Surf

Be thankful to mother nature daily - Gwen from The Two Captains

Follow your plans, not other's plans - Behan of Sailing Totem

Take the good with the bad. - Ellen from The Cynical Sailor

Don't panic. Breathe. You've got this. - Kim Taylor

Watch for mangoes, Marley and mermaids! - Chris of Mangoes, Marley and Mermaids

Don't be afraid to make mistakes - Maria of Sailing Mareda

Prepare to gybe -- it always changes! - Pamela Benson-Lasnetske

Mast goes up, keel goes down - Linda Gurth Hildreth

An enlightening journey, not a vacation - Daria Blackwell

Be able to fix your toilet! - Beth Burlingame

Be prepared, but embrace the unexpected -Monique of Drakes Paragon

Take turns being the ship's captain. - Logan Hottle

Improve by time on the water. - Anna Black

Self-reliance saves time and money. - Anne of From Pine to Palm

Take the wind and sail away. - Lynne of Amarula Sail

Keep your eye on the weather! - Sally Pinches
A life well lived is glorious! - Behan of Sailing Totem

***

And at the end of the day just:
"sail the wind you are in" 

Those are my six words. 

What are yours?

Flamingos....Found.

Suffice it to say they found the "pink reef" referenced in my earlier post. The twins and I missed the excursion because of their morning nap, which was probably a blessing in disguise as the seven mile dinghy ride was not only very long, but very bumpy. Not easily swayed by some wind chop, our intrepid troop persevered - keeping a sharp lookout for the requisite pink tinge on the horizon - and sure enough they found it. The girls got to see real, live pink flamingos in the wild and I'm told it was well worth the trip (and achey backs). So far, Anegada has not disappointed.

Another logbook-style note for those of you who might head this way: the Anegada Beach Club is well worth a visit. We've now spent two full afternoons there. Not only are their happy hour prices hard to beat (two for one rum punch and painkillers!), but there's a ton of fun for the kids too. Hammocks are strewn throughout the property, a volleyball court is ready for play, a small fresh water pool beckons from the beach bar, and just over the dune is a spectacular ocean-side beach with super inviting tented rooms overlooking the ocean (for a cost!). There's a great restaurant on the premise serving everything from pizza to their trademark,the BLLT (that extra "L" is for lobster!), and the vibe is chill and casual. It's a great place where three or four hours can easily be wiled away. 

We took the free taxi (a pick up truck with seats in the back that reads: Anegada Beach Club) from the Lobster Trap restaurant which makes the excursion all the more inviting. If you head over that way tell Eugene, the driver, we sent you. He's a fantastic and super accommodating gentleman. Just remind him of all the babies in the back of his truck, he'll remember us for sure. Kind of hard to forget five girls five and under.

This afternoon's exploration agenda? To see the shark breeding grounds over by the Windless Bight...keep an eye on Facebook for pictures!

These cuties were on the lookout - and they found them! 

They couldn't get much closer than this. The pretty birds were a bit skittish.

A nice view from Cow Wreck Bay where we spent a (sargosso filled) hour or so.

No shortage of fun and action here! Anegada Beach Club pool. The bar is a convenient few steps away.

Another view from Cow Wreck Bay

On the way home in the pick up truck

Quote from Eben: "If people think we're reckless with our kids on boats, they should see us in vehicles!" Haven, feeling the wind in her hair. So begins a love of convertibles??