Big Coincidences on a Little Island: A "Small World" Story and Beach Bum Dream

The other night, I was sitting at the beach bar with one of my girlfriends having an interesting discussion about books we're reading and such (I recently just binged on all of Francesca Marciano's books, if you are curious), when I spied another girl across the bar. I had seen her before and knew she lived on-island. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I chalked it up to small-island life and left it at that.

I continued chatting with my friend and casually mentioned something about Chicago when all of a sudden the girl across the bar perks up and says, "Did you go to Loyola University and live in Mertz Hall?" Astonished at the mention of these far off places from my past, I looked up. With a mix of shock, confusion and anticipation I replied, "I did!" She busted out laughing and with a huge smile said, "I knew it was you!!!" banging her fist on the bar to punctuate being spot-on. Her smile showed her pride in finally solving the mystery of vague familiarity that we both had been pondering. "I lived in Mertz Hall too! We went to college together!" I immediately went over to her side of the bar and mentioned how she had looked so familiar to me each time I saw her. Of course, we laughed and hugged. When you make such an odd connection in such an unlikely place, there is really nothing else to do.

We got to chatting. While we didn't hang out together in college, we met once at a house party and she said she never forgot that I told her I always wanted to live on a beach and be a beach bum (which at the time she thought was very strange and impractical, and I must admit - seems highly unambitious for a college student). What's even more strangely coincidental (and pretty incredible!) is that we both lived in Africa for three years after college during the exact same period. What are the odds of that? She in West Africa (Ghana), me in East Africa (Tanzania). And now, we both live on the amazing little island of Tortola. It's come full circle. Wild.

So...Here's to small-world connections and collegiate dreams of being a beach bum in the islands coming to fruition! 

It's a small world, but we run in big circles.
- Sasha Azevedo

(I previously shared this story on our Facebook Page and it got such a great response, I thought I'd transpose it here as well. Hope you enjoyed!)

Just add Water: Eleven Ways Cruising Friendships are Different Than Others

One of my fundamental beliefs in life is that people need people. We are, by nature, social creatures and making real and deep connections with other human beings goes down as one of the most rewarding gifts of life. I have been very fortunate in my life to have always been surrounded by amazing friends. I have high school friends, college friends, sailing friends, mama friends, blogging friends, older friends, younger friends and Scott and I even have what we call "couple friends". My best friend and I go all the way back to first grade (she knows me better than I know myself and I literally thank the Universe for her daily.) Friends are friends and, to me, each "type" of friendship is purposeful and meaningful, with every person bringing value, experience and perspective to an individual.

Since leaving on our boat we've even added a new category of friendship to our repertoire: the one which we call "cruising" friends. 

These friendships are very, very different from any other type I've experienced. Scott always says, "There's something special about friendships formed on water" and it's true. Don't get me wrong, not every cruiser is an immediate friend - just like on land we "click" with some people and not with others...but when you *do* make that 'real and deep' connection with someone on the water, a little bit of magic happens. In an effort to explain what a cruising friendship looks like, here are eleven ways in which I find they are different than others:

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1) They are formed fast and furious. Friendships blossom fast on the water, one minute you are helping someone rescue their dinghy from floating away, the next you are sharing cocktails in the cockpit like old friends. There is an instant familiarity between cruisers and, even if you only spend one evening together, you usually cut right through the small talk and get to the meat of the matter. It takes almost no time for cruisers to start acting like old friends, despite only spending a few days together. Just as marriage in a boat is amplified and condensed (1 year on a boat = 4 years on land) so is friendship. When you click, you click and that is that.

Jost Van Dyke, BVI 2015. The McGuire Family are blog-follwers turned friends who we were lucky enough to cruise with for a bit during their epic 5 month charter. We love them like crazy and there is not a doubt in my mind that we will be friends with these people FOREVER and because they live in the midwest, we know we'll be seeing them again.

2) Time spent together is intensified. Because most cruisers are retired and/or semi retired, we don't have the rigorous work and social schedules that are common on land. As as result, when you do find those people that you connect with, you spend a lot of time together. When we cruised with our best buddies, the Soeter's family ,we spent no fewer than three hours a day together for months and months. That's a LOT of quality time! To this day they are still some of our very best friends and we consider them more like family. Stay tuned for our epic reunion in a few weeks! (They are moving to Tortola on their boat where we will be living too!!! GAHHHH!!!)

Lee Stocking Island, Bahamas 2013. These two have a very special place in my heart. Genevieve, one of my very best girlfriends, of s/v Necesse (currently in the USVI) and Karina of s/v Kazaio (currently in the South Pacific)

3) You help each other out. I think I've driven the point home pretty well on this blog, but in case it hasn't gotten through: boats break a lot. Ninety percent of the time you will be trying to fix and/or diagnose your boat woes with your cruising buddies. We pool our supplies, tools and spares and do whatever we can to help a fellow cruiser out because a) you never know when it will be your turn to need help and b) the cocktails afterward are that much nicer! Out on the water we can only rely on ourselves and our friends - and the cruising community is unrivaled in it's ability to rally for one another.

Tortola, BVI 2015. Eben of s/v Necesse helping Scott install our new battery bank.

4) You are "like minded." It takes a certain type of person to live on a sailboat. While we cruisers are all different, there are definitely some core values that almost all of us share: a love of travel, an appreciation for the "tiny house" movement, a love of simple living, an eco-friendly mentality, a desire to ditch the 'rat race' and a hefty dose of self-reliance to name a few. We're a tough bunch and when we get together, connections are not hard to make and the conversation is often easy and interesting. We're all members of the same tribe and proud of it.

Georgetown, Bahamas 2010. In this bunch are our very first cruising friends and what an epic group it was. Brian and Lara of Forest and Fin, George and Kelly of Earthling Sailor, Sarah and Miguel and Jay and Nicole.

5) You probably "know" them before you meet them. This is a new one since the world of 'cruising blogs' has literally exploded in the last couple years. When we started blogging I would say there were maybe one tenth of the blogs that are out there now. Today it's rare if someone doesn't have a blog or website. This is an interesting phenomenon because it's made the cruising community that much smaller. I'd say there's no more than two degrees of separation between cruisers and chances are, you 'know' fellow cruisers through their websites and/or niche Facebook groups before you ever meet in person. This has been a really neat development over the last few years and adds some depth and ease to making new cruising friends because we already know so much about each other by the time we meet.

Tortola, 2015. Carly of the fantastic blog, Salty Kisses (they just competed the Northwest Passage!!! INSANE.) We only hung out together a short time but have spoken via email and chat a BUNCH of times. Her little boy, Crew, is only a week apart from the twins so we have a lot in common dealing with our little ones on board. 

6) You get unusually comfortable together. Our closest cruising buds have seen us at our best...and at our worst. They've witnessed the tense and stressful moments where we are most raw and celebrated our victories with us. They've been privy to our domestic disputes, wiped our tears when we're overwhelmed with our kids, hugged us when our boat's give us another doozy of an issue and, more likely than not, have seen our nekkid bottoms when showering off the back of our boats. My girl Darcy (of the Sunkissed Soerters) has undressed me, put me in bed and held my hair back as I puked after consuming one too many Killer Bee's on the island of Nevis - not my proudest moment, but boy was I glad to have a friend like her. You go through a lot with your cruising buddies and, as a result, become more like family than friends.

Our very best family friends, the Sunkissed Soeters. We have spent so much time with this family and get along with them so well that's it's almost bizarre. We love them like family and we'll be reuniting with them in a few weeks!! GAH!!!

7) You will have incredible photos together. Palm trees, epic sunsets, island tableaus, and crystal clear water are the usually the backdrops of our photos. The scenery make the memories that much sweeter.

Gerogetown, Bahamas 2013. This is where Genevieve and I first met and formed our awesome bond. We reunited three years later in the Virgin Island after a LOT of trying to convince her to head that way on my part. Those of you that love her blog can thank me, I helped convince her to write one - probably not long after this photo was taken ;)

8) Everyone has a story. They are often very interesting. We've met so many incredible people since we left, and I mean really, really cool people doing some really incredible things. They are writers, photographers, single-handers, mountaineers, activists, botanists, researchers, fisherman, surfers, kite boarders, extreme minimalists, chefs, and philosophers. We've met people who've been held at gunpoint in Columbia and others who have been shipwrecked on the Indian Ocean. This lifestyle tends to bring a certain personality type out of the woodwork and it's often very adventurous, well-traveled people who do things on their own terms. We also tend to imbibe quite often which is always great for story-telling.

Tortola, BVI 2015. Maggie and Wiley were just making the transition from live-aboards to full-time RV'ers (Harmony on Land). I still laugh at Wiley's stories and we love this couple a LOT. So much fun and we wish they were still floating!

9) They cross social, cultural and economic boundaries. Our cruising friends run the gamut and while we do tend to stick with fellow kid boats for obvious reasons, we have made friends from all over the world that cover every social class and represent every age group. The only other time in my life when I felt like friendships crossed these barriers was when I was an expatriate living in Tanzania. There, we were all "outsiders" and that fact alone was enough to bind us together. My core group of friends and I would most likely never have met in the 'real world' but there, in that little cowboy town that was Arusha, we bonded. The same holds true with cruising. A cruiser's get together will host a whole slew of nationalities, and our friends are French, Iranian, Canadian, Argentinian, Australian, Dutch and British (to name a few). We have a virtual United Nations of friendships and this really expands our worldview more so than almost anything else I think.

This is our beautiful French-Canadian friend Karin. We first met her and her husband Mario in Ft. Lauderdale, and now they live in the BVI and run a luxury charter boat. We've run into them on and off over the years and now we all live in the BVI's. They are some of our best friends and even though English is their second language, we understand each other completely.

10) They get "it."And by "it" I mean everything. Fellow cruisers just get it. The ups and the downs and everything in-between. You don't need to explain to a fellow cruiser how shitty it is to lose your engine/blow a mainsail/kill a dinghy motor/drag anchor...etc...because they can empathize. They understand what it's like to be stuck somewhere waiting for a part, they feel the pain of trying to diagnose a mystery problem and they know the hell that is a rolly anchorage. Adversity brings you closer. Cruising is a wonderful lifestyle, but it can come at a price. Complaining about these things can seem unappreciative to our land-based friends, but cruisers know and understand that the downsides of cruising are all too real. They also know how amazing it is to have a 'perfect' passage, finally fix that mystery leak, discover a great new "galley hack" and capture that incredible sunset. No matter how hard you try to explain your life to land-lubbing friends, they just won't get it. Just as parenthood cannot be fully understood until you yourself are a parent, the same holds true with cruising.

St. John, USVI 2015. Jody of the awesome blog, Where the Coconuts Grow, and Genevieve again. Three peas in a pod!

11) Goodbyes are inevitable and hard. This is, by far, one of the hardest aspects of the lifestyle. Because of it's transient nature, your friends will come and go and parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm emotional and wear my heart on my sleeve, so when I say 'bye' to our very best cruising friends, there are ALWAYS tears. Always. Luckily, with Facebook and blogs it's really easy to keep in touch with one another, watch each other's children grow, follow awesome adventures and plan those epic reunions. It's never "goodbye", but "see you later!" the world is round, after all.

Scott with Mike and Melanie (blog followers turned friends), me and my super girls, Lisa and Nicole (an arial acrobat!)

I could not possibly capture ALL our cruising friends in this one post, so to all of you who we love dearly who are not pictured, sorry!! I was going bug-eyed looking through photos and it was SO hard to just chose these few!

Cruising Perspectives: Fourteen 'Side Effects' of Living on a Boat

Note: I was invited to write this post back in June of 2013 (!?!?!) by the lovely Tammy of Things we Did Today for the great 'hive mind' site, The Monkey's Fist. I am only now getting back to it with the time to flush it out. Check out other blogger's takes on this great subject here.

Living on a boat: it doesn't take a genius to realize this is very different from living on land. There are a million ways in which the cruising and/or live-aboard lifestyle differs from that of a land-lubbing existence, too many to list in fact. Living on a boat is certainly no utopia, but it can be pretty great - and many of us find that we have strengths we never knew we had, hobbies we never knew we loved, and skills we didn't think we possessed. These are great perks of the lifestyle. Then, there are some other more unexpected things we get from the lifestyle, I call these: side effects.

Here are 14 "side effects" that I have experienced from five years of boat life:

1. Water usage: Sure, we have a high output water-maker and carry 120 gallons on our boat. But still, even that is a finite and limited supply and must be monitored so as not to run out. Remember that time I carried 60 gallons of water to refill our tanks? I have not forgotten it. Even on land we use water sparingly and letting a tap run for any extended length of time feels wrong. Letting it run while you don't need it, i.e while brushing teeth or in-between doing dishes? That's just criminal.

2. Storage Envy: Houses are full of pretty right angles and nice, square (or rectangular) storage spaces. THIS IS A LUXURY, PEOPLE. Boats have none of those things. We have oddly shaped 'cabinets' and 'cubbies' which make general storage annoying, difficult and - in some cases - impossible. We have gear stuffed so deeply in the rabbit-hole recesses of our boat I'm pretty sure we'll never see them again (in fact, we never did find that spare mast-head light in our last boat...). Gear is stored on a priority basis because you simply have no other choice - which means items used daily or regularly are semi-easy to get to, and things that you don't use daily or regularly require blood, sweat and sometimes tears to get to. All those years of playing Tetris paid off. Luckily, our Brewer has a ton of storage - but even still, it's a struggle to get to and when I see boats with nice, big closet-like spaces (cough-catamarans-cough), I get a little twitchy.

3. Everything is a Compromise: I just mentioned that our boat has a ton of storage, and it does. But guess what? It comes at the cost of living space. The sides of our boat are so chalk-full of cubbies and cabinets, that our living area is significantly more narrow to accommodate it. Boats who are smaller in size, can end up feeling much bigger than ours because of this. That is just one of a MILLION examples I could give you. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING on a boat is a compromise. You install a freezer, you become a slave to your generator. You spring for the wind generator, you get the noise. You re-configure for more galley storage, you loose your microwave. And on and on it goes. Be prepared. Nothing comes on or off the boat that doesn't have a price, both literally and figuratively.

4. Spacial Awareness: When you buy anything for your boat, the first things you will think about is, "Do we have room for this?" and secondly, "Where will this go?" because, at least on our boat, the golden rule is: A place for everything and everything in it's place. This comes very easy to me because I am by nature an incredibly OCD 'tidy' person, but for those of you who are less inclined to put things away, going sailing will be a messy ordeal because, NEWSFLASH: boats are prone to rocking side to side and items not stored properly can and will go flying. 

5. Power Struggles: When you are not concerned with space, you will be concerned with power. Amp hours are another limited commodity on a boat, and even though we have a nice array of solar panels and a decent sized battery bank, we still need to run our generator from time to time to keep up with our energy needs. Rare is the boat that has all their power requirements met by sun and wind day in and day out. Want to bring aboard that Vitamix blender that you love? First of all, see #4 (space) and second, better check out how much juice that thing will suck out of your batteries. Before you buy that system or appliance, you will (or should) be wondering "What does this draw?"

6. Hoarding: I realize this sort of contradicts #4 (space), but hear me out...Living on a boat where simple chores like grocery shopping can become one hell of an ordeal, not to mention the fact that certain places don't have certain things, mean that you try to stock up when and where you can. The Exumas in the Bahamas had grocery stores that looked like they came right out of socialist Russia and the grocery stores in the smaller islands of the windwards had cans on the shelves that were over ten years old! When you get somewhere with good bounty, you'll want to stock up. The same applies to boat parts/supplies. If we order a new "O" ring for our generator's heat exchanger, you better believe we're ordering an end cap, gasket, cover and capscrew as well, and two of each!

7. You Wait for the 'Other Shoe to Drop': I wish we could say we were in the types of cruisers that falls under the 'minimalist' category, but we are not. While Scott could probably swing that way, I like certain creature comforts. I love our water-maker. I love our generator. I love our engine. I love our cockpit speakers. I love our refrigerator. I love our AC (at the dock.) These things make our boat more comfortable and livable for us but, sadly, they come at a price (see #3 - compromise).  As much as we appreciate these systems, they are prone to breaking. They say a cruising boat is in good order if 80% of it's systems are running and truer words were never spoken. It is ALWAYS something. ALWAYS. From the mundane (polishing ever-rusting stainless) to the disastrous (a leaking fuel tank) you will never not have something to fix.  As the 'worrier' of our duo, I'm always looking ahead and wondering, "What's it gonna be next?" The windlass? The stereo? The main halyard? The autopilot? Scott always says, "We're always just one ring-ding away from disaster!" Sad, but true. Boats break. A lot.

8. Heightened senses: An odd vibration under foot, a faint waft of an unusual odor, a dull yet different sound emitting from the engine? All of these things will not only put you on high alert, but set you into action to figure out "why?" You will grow to know every creak and groan your boat makes, you will be unusually familiar with the 'normal' vibrations of your engine and you will know *immediately* if any of your pumps, from those in your bilge to those in your water maker, are acting up. On a boat ignoring these sounds, feelings and odors can be detrimental so you'll be hyper aware of it all. Fun fact: You'll also be able to predict wind speed within a knot or two based on the sounds it makes through your rig. 

9. Resourcefulness: The need to be 'resourceful' has been a bit atrophied in this day and age when we can pretty much have whatever we want or need in a matter of hours, but in the islands this is not the case. Sometimes (actually, a lot of times) we must improvise. Lack of facilities, under-stocked stores, and public holidays are all things that can wreak havoc on you getting that part, talking to that agent, or finishing a project. As such, you need to be resourceful and use what is on hand. Scott has become a veritable McGuyver as a result of living on a boat and his handiness is a mega asset.

10. Hitting the Road (on foot): We walk, a lot. It's so funny to me how little islanders walk or how they seem to judge distance. A very normal conversation will go like this: Us: "Excuse me, but could you point us in the direction of the grocery store?" Islander: "You're not walking, right? It's too far to walk!" Us: "How far, would you say?" Islander: "Oh, I don't know...a really long way." Us: "Okay, well, we like to walk - is is this way?" Islander: (Shaking head with a laugh) "Okay, yes - just up that road there..." And then we walk and it's, like, two miles away. But, yeah, when we're moving around on land we walk a lot to get from point A to point B.

11. Putting it all Out There: Underwear on the line, bras hanging from the the mast, food scraps in a bowl in the cockpit (ready to be tossed overboard later), and sometimes, donning nothing more than our birthday suits, cruisers are not a shy bunch. We tend to put it all out there because, well, we don't really have room to put it any place else. We shower off the back of our boats and sometimes greet our cruising buddies in our underwear. Every year of cruising trades few more social mores/graces for a little more 'heathen' I think.

12. Patience: I am not, by nature, a patient person. It is yet another of my less-than-desirable traits and perhaps the one that I do battle with most regularly as a cruiser because a) a sailboat is S L O W and b) "Island Time" is more real than you can ever possibly imagine. Whether it be having to wait two weeks for your simple package to clear customs (sorry, it arrived during Carnival!) or sailing into the wind and making almost zero VMG for twenty-four hours, living on a boat in the islands will test your patience daily. As a result, you will have no choice but to become more patient or drink a lot to take your mind of the frustration. 

13. Settling for Second Best: When you combine #7 (things break) and #9 (resourcefulness) you sometimes need to settle for a solution that is for sure second-best. Boats are constantly breaking down under the UV of the sun and the corrosion of the salt and unless you have a staff, you will not be able to stay on top of all the work and maintenance your boat needs, meaning you will get used to having certain things not working and/or not looking pretty. Our teak toe rails are a disaster. In fact, all teak on our boat - both inside and out - needs a good re-doing, but we just don't have the money or time right now. And that's okay.

14. Bi-Polar Tendencies: And finally - if you are anything like we are - living on the water will make you bi-polar. You will, at times,  have a love/hate relationship with: your boat, the ocean, the lifestyle, the islands and (most likely) your spouse. High highs and low lows across the board. We can't have it all, right?

Sorry I was so ridiculously late Tammy! Thanks for the great thought-provoking post idea!

Your Life is an Adventure, But No One Wants to Hear Your Story

I'll never forget the time I came home after living in Tanzania and went to the local bar where many of my high school peers would occasionally hang out. I had been gone three years and was dealing with a fair amount of reverse culture shock - and subsequent depressive "funk" - as a result of my return. I self-consciously walked into the bar, saw some people I hadn't seen since highschool and after striking up generic "what have you been up to?" pleasantries with all of them (this was pre-Facebook, people!), I found it a) hard to describe that I had been living in Africa without sounding like a pompous asshole and/or dreaded 'travel snob' and b) interesting that once I did describe what I had been up to, "Err...I've been...in...um....Africa" - no one really cared. Sure, I got a few, "whoa's" and some "very cool's" but, in general, it ended there. No one wanted to know any details about anything I had experienced at all. Zero. 

It was an important lesson for me, and one that I am grateful I learned. While I'm embarrassed to admit I was feeling rather "interesting" and "exotic" coming right off my worldly travels and experiences (I mean, I witnessed a Masai circumcision for crying out loud), the fact that I did not 'hold court' in that hometown bar regaling tales of African adventure served me well by knocking me down a peg. It taught me an important lesson about sharing stories. Namely, that "sharing" plays a huge part in the telling of stories, and if there is not something shared between the listener and the storyteller, the story is irrelevant. A hard pill to swallow for someone who just had the most intense and incredible three years of her life and possesses an almost intrinsic compulsion to share (hence this blog). It doesn't mean that your 'audience' needs to have had the same experience as you, but there must be an interest, a desire...something to connect with. Many of the people in the bar that night had never been out of the country, let alone to Africa, so there was a lack of understanding. Not "ignorance" or "jealousy", simply no frame of reference. It hit me like a ton of bricks: just because you have a story to tell, does not mean others want to hear it. A humbling lesson for a twenty-seven year old gypsy spirit to learn.

Take parenthood, for example. For many of us, our kids dominate our conversations, thoughts, and Facebook feeds. Being parents is the most important thing we will ever do, and those of us who have children cannot imagine a life any other way. We find tremendous joy in watching our children grow and sharing our lives with them. We actively seek out friendships with other parents who understand our happiness and empathize with our struggles. Is parenthood is for everyone? Are people who chose a child-less route are any less fulfilled? Can we no longer sustain conversation and friendships with people who don't have kids? Absolutely not. I believe it's this way with cruising, travel and adventuring. It no doubt enhances and enriches the lives of those that chose it, but it's not for everyone. And that's a good thing.

It's the same now, after having lived on the boat. Rarely do Scott and I talk about our travels or life on our boat when we are out with our friends back home. It comes up almost never, and if it does - it's brief and not something we dwell on. Does this mean we don't love our friends? That we have nothing in common with them anymore? That we feel 'lost' in our own country? No, no, and no. We are blessed with amazing friendships that transcend our need to share our experiences abroad and we connect with them on other levels. The fact of the matter is this: not everyone is interested in travel or sailing or adventure. It might seem shocking to us that are, but people find happiness and contentment in many ways. When we get the pleasure to meet up with fellow travelers, adventurers, sailors or soon-to-be cruisers, the questions come flying. Why? Because these are people with whom we share our wanderlust with. People who possess this adventurous spirit, either in desire or in actuality, will revel in your tales from off the beaten path and you will revel in theirs. Stories have a time and place.

So don't be surprised if people aren't asking about what it's like to live on a boat, what it feels like to sail overnight, or what thoughts go through your head when you sail into a squall.... There's a quote that says, "We share with people who've earned the right to hear our story..." and while, at first, that sounds snobbish, I don't think it is. We are each of us a composite of a million stories, and how we connect truly and deeply with another person is in shared experiences. We are all multi-faceted individuals and most of us don't fit into any one single box, we can connect on many levels. We are a conglomeration of many: Traveler. Poet. Surfer. Musician. Writer. Athlete. Widow. Artist. Botanist. Addict. Parent. Teacher. Sailor. Animal lover. Techie. Husband. Wife. Sister. Brother. Daughter...etc.These shared experiences are what 'earn' us the right to hear, and share in, another's story. If you find that people aren't interested in the story you want to tell, don't take it personally; sit back, enjoy their company, and ask questions. You'll find a story that is shared.

And if that doesn't do it for you, find another outlet for telling your stories and start a blog. Worked for me ;)

Who's Dream is this, Anyway?

"Wow, that woman is a real trooper." A zodiac had just passed our stern as Scott and I were in the middle of the (rather laborious) process of off-loading our three girls from our dinghy and onto the boat. I heard his comment clear as day. My first reaction was a little chuckle; our current situation is quite the head-turner. But I quickly realized that his impression was probably a bit skewed: That instead of calling me a 'trooper' because I was unloading three toddlers from our dinghy (because wouldn't that make Scott a trooper as well?), maybe he was calling me a trooper because he thought that perhaps I had been convinced to live on a boat by my husband, and I was a good wife (or 'trooper') to have gone along for the ride. Either way, I took it as a compliment - but if he did think I was simply riding the coattails of Scott's dream, he would be very, very wrong.

It's true, however, that the vast majority of cruising couples we meet on the water over the past five years are often driven, literally and figuratively, by the man. I'm not sure why this is, but the woman in the pair is more often than not a willing (or, in some unfortunate cases, unwilling) participant in her husband's dream. Of course this is not always the case and we've met many, many couple's for whom the dream has evolved into a 'shared' one, and even a few where the woman is the driving force behind it.

So who's dream is this, anyway?

For Scott and I, it is very much a shared one. For me, the "traveler" of our duo, I'd been talking about 'sailing around the world' since I was a pre-teen. To me, sailing was a means to live differently and travel as a lifestyle. Scott, the true "sailor" in our duo, had also been dreaming and scheming about a life afloat just as long. For him, however, it was more about being at sea, exploring new islands and the simple art of harnessing the wind. When we met and learned of this shared dream, I believe it was the very fuel that kick-started our relationship into orbit. I mean, how many people living in Chicago really, truly want to do what it takes to live and travel by sailboat? It's not many. We felt like we hit the jackpot with each other, and in many ways, we did. What we wanted to get out of the lifestyle might have been different, but the vessel to get us there was the same. So from day one of our relationship, almost everything we did revolved around making this 'dream' come true. The two of us leaving on a boat to sail off into the sunset surprised exactly no one in our lives. For our wedding we registered for winches, offshore medical kits and windlasses; Egyptian cotton bed sheets and the white picket fence were never in our sites.

And here we are.

We obviously didn't get very far around the world, in fact some critics argue we've hardly gone anywhere at all (despite the fact that we sailed from Chicago to Trinidad, done the "thorny path" twice, and sailed up and down the windwards and leewards a couple times clocking in over 10K nautical miles), but it doesn't matter. Many have sailed more, and many have sailed less. It's not about needing anyone else's approval or accolades, and it's certainly not a competition. For us, the past five years has been a metamorphosis of sorts. What started as a plan to "sail around the world" has become a dream to live a life less ordinary, with the focus on raising three healthy, happy and (dare I say) bad-ass daughters who are free-thinking world citizens. It's become less about the sailing to far-flung places, and more about cultivating a life that we enjoy and can feel proud of. It's really as simple as that. And, to be honest, I feel that in some teeny-tiny way, we are pioneers in our own right. There aren't many people who, given our same circumstances, would have the stick-to-it that we have.

There are times when I am more the driving force behind our dream, and times when Scott takes the helm - but the roots are always the same. We've never followed the pack - not as individuals and not as a couple - and while the path might be one that evolves and unfolds before us as we go, it is ours. Together.

And, yeah, we're troopers. I'll give us that.

Five Years

Five years ago today we said "I do" and set this whole journey into motion. It was an incredible weekend, and it marked the official beginning of our life together, although one could argue the twisty turvy path to this place started long before we ever met.

Two boats, three kids, fifteen countries and over 10K nautical miles later, here we are. It's not always been easy or pretty or perfect. Just like any married couple, we are learning as we go; sometimes soaring, sometimes stumbling. Our path is our own and one thing is for certain, it's been an endless adventure every step of the way. We are blessed beyond belief and I thank the Universe every single day for our girls, our life, our health, and everything in between. The good, the bad, the ugly...it's all been...amazing. Quite the evolution.

I wouldn't change a thing.

“A life of adventure is ours for the taking, whether we're seven or seventy. Life for the most part is what me make it. We have been given a responsibility to live it fully, joyfully, completely, and richly, in whatever span of time God grants us on this earth.”  

- Luci Swindoll, I Married Adventure

Happy Anniversary Scott, cheers to us babe. xo

Awesome Sailing People: The Delos Crew

Imagine being on a well appointed cruising boat in an impossibly perfect tropical paradise with two hot blonds, two handsome men, tons of toys (from drone to dive gear), a moonshine brewing still, a thousand beers and a penchant for all things fun. Sounds pretty awesome, right? Yeah. Such is the life of the s/v Delos crew. These four have perfected the art of living harmoniously "in the moment".

If there is any crew in the whole wide world that I would want to join and sail with for a good long while, it is this one. Not only are they accomplished sailors who've logged an impressive number of nautical miles from Seattle to Asia, they are people after my own heart and I'm pretty sure their sailboat acts as a sort of portal to personal enlightenment because everyone who steps off s/v Delos seems to have changed permanently for the better. Or maybe it's all the alcohol they brew. Either way, I want in.

When we started blogging back in 2009, there were no where near as many blogs as are out now, but there were a few, and Delos was one of them. We've been online "friends" since our blog's inception and their site has evolved from blog to vlog - and a really, really, REALLY fantastic one at that. If you have not checked out their amazing videos, you should (subscribe to their YouTube Channel >>>>>HERE<<<<<). Not only are their episodes excellent dream fodder, but candy for the eyes as well. They've really honed in their techniques over the past few years and each crew member brings something unique to the table. I want to be friends with each of them, for real.

I love these guys. They make me smile. I love their attitudes (Nothin' but love!), their spirits (Peace and positivity!) and their approach to life (Have fun!) and everything in between. I think you will, too. Jump in and read my interview with them to learn little bit more about the Trautman boys, Brian and Brady, (real life Peter Pan's) and their beautiful side kicks, Karin and Josje...and if you want even more Delos ('cuz you will!), be sure to head over and like their >>>>Facebook Page<<<<

1) Brian, when you set off for this trip - none of your current crew were a part of your team...What was the vision for Delos then and how has it changed?

(Brian) That’s the really amazing part of this for me personally.  I didn’t start out with a vision at all….  I just wanted to take some time for myself, sail, travel, explore, a bit of soul searching and discovery.  Along the way my brother joined and we met some fantastic, amazing people.  In fact we’ve had over 35 people sail on Delos!  Some for only a few months, others for years.  Everybody has left their energy and added to the experience in their own special way.  To me this has been the most awesome aspect of the voyage, and has really helped to shape the vision of Delos.  Which is pretty simple actually- just have as much fun as possible, and show others what a beautiful place this world really is.  If we can make someone smile then we’re doing a good thing!

2) Brady, what were you doing when you decided that you *needed* to be a part of the crew - and when did it become apparent that you were not going to leave? 

(Brady) I was ‘treading water’ at the University of Central Florida in Orlando.  I spent the semesters convincing myself that I really needed the Environmental Engineering degree I was working towards and I spent my summers down in Islamorada, in the Florida Keys, teaching scuba diving and playing with boats! I spent Christmas and New Year of 2009 sailing with Brian in Mexico and had an awesome time diving and cruising around. That’s when they asked if I’d like to join for the passage to the Marquesas in March of 2010. I asked myself “Go back to finish a degree just for the sake of finishing or go sailing to this far away mystical place called French Polynesia?”  Let’s just say the banks who gave me my student loans to go back for the spring of 2010 weren’t happy.  I was supposed to be on for the 3 week passage, hang out for a few weeks then fly back home from Tahiti  All of a sudden we were about to sail into New Zealand 7 months later…  I knew at that point I had permanently switched to the University of Sailing the World.

3) Josje - (I think you are the one behind the animation of the videos?) - you are wicked talented - was this something you always did (video editing) or is this a talent you discovered underway?

(Josje) We all take turns at editing the videos which you can tell by who does the voice over. When we started making them in Australia, it was just sort of a hobby so when we got our hands on a decent editing program, we all just sort of taught ourselves! It was a huge learning process but really fun! Still learning heaps even now. So I guess I was never ‘into’ editing before but it’s definitely a skill I highly value and appreciate now. It’s so awesome to be able to whip up a little something with music and the whole works! Haha in terms of most of the effects in the videos, Karins gets the credit for this! She’s been teaching herself a program called ‘after effects’ where she’s able to do all the awesome effects like in our intro for the vids. I also really like the fact that we take turns at editing the videos, it makes it really unique in the fact that we are all able to portray our experiences through our own perspective. And I think people can pick up on those sorts of things which is really unique! 

(Karin) We all edit the videos, which I think is awesome, and everyone has different styles and ideas. The animation part really started with us wanting to create a new cool intro. I looked into stop motion and really loved it! 

I did some small video projects during my 3-year degree as a landscape architect, but this was on a different level. And so much fun! 

In the beginning I did the old school camera on a tripod, take a photo, move the object then another photo. This was extremely time consuming! So I looked into After Effects, after a week and dozens of YouTube videos later I knew enough to make a small intro. It’s a fascination program and I’ve only started to scratch the surface of what’s possible.

*Editor note: Sorry Karin!! I thought Josje did the stop motion - SO FANTASTIC. Love it. I stand corrected.

4) You all seem to have a good dose of "hedonist" in you - is this something you always had in life - or was this cultivated by living on the water, being free and just letting go of social constrictions that the US sort of imposes?

(Brian) I think it’s probably a mix of lots of things.  Society in general has this idea of what is common, and what is out of the ordinary.  For me that really changes when we go sailing.  It’s a very different life spent in a small space with people you really care about.  You’re more than just friends- you become a family of sorts.  So things like partying a bit, skinny-dipping, and showering on deck that in a city would be considered way out there are just part of the norm for us now. We’re all in committed relationships and care deeply enough that we all respect personal boundaries so that helps.  So, I guess yes and no at the same time.  What may be crazy for some is just a shower in the rain for us ;)

(Brady) Haha well after googling hedonist I can say that I have always had a strong belief in the power of pleasure and have always searched for it and surrounded myself with pleasurable experience.. (winky face)…  I guess what I mean is I have always thought that you should put your happiness and pleasure first (as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else in a negative way).  Life is short so eat well, drink often and laugh a lot. Delos has definitely brought out more hedonistic tendencies though.  We often gorge in alcohol, food and other pleasures to the point of it being a bit much…Nah, never too much…

(Josje) Haha this question is great. I think it’s definitely something that I’ve always had a craving for and being on Delos has definitely been a space where being free and open is the norm. No we don’t all have sex with each other or anything, but going for a naked swim or taking an outdoor shower while the others read a book in the cockpit is totally cool and accepted. It’s a boat after all! 

(Karin) I don’t think I’ve ever really seen myself as an adventurous, living in the now person. And it’s definitely taken me some time to be able to really live in the present and not think so much about all the things your “supposed” to do in life. So the sailing life style has definitely changed me as a person, only for the better. I will always remember one thing Brian told me when we first met “you will never look back and wish you worked more.” – so true!

5) Josje and Karin - both of you joined the crew of Delos as girlfriends (I think?) did you ever picture yourselves living on a boat or did the love of the Trautman boys lead the way to the sea for you? What finally made you both realize that, yes, you would live on the boat as sea gypsies and was the transition hard?

(Josje) Haha yeah I guess thats pretty bang on. I met Delos in 2011 in Fiji and Brady pulled the old “wanna come sailing for the weekend” line. Its been four years of sailing on and off since then! Sailing had never been something I was remotely interested in before I went travelling. My dad actually put me through sailing lessons when I was about 10 and I absolutely hated it! Strangely enough, 10 years later, I was cruising around. I think the moment I realized that yes, I would live on a boat as a sea gypsy, was when I first met Delos. They were young, fun and totally about living simply and free, everything I had been craving. I knew I had been searching for something, not quite knowing what, and when I moved on board Delos I knew I had found it. So I guess the transition wasn’t so hard, I still miss life on land, my friends and family. Ive come to realize its all about balance! 

(Karin) I met Brian in Auckland, NZ in 2011. He asked me if I wanted to go sailing for a weekend and here I am 4 years later.  I grew up above the polar circle in a small town in Sweden so I’d never sailed before. It had never even crossed my mind that I could do something like this and now it’s something I could never live without.  I loved it straight away- it’s an incredible feeling of freedom and self-sustainability, the ultimate way to travel and it’s now my whole life!

6) Videography seems to be your platform of choice - and your Delos episodes are so well done and entertaining, they are practically television-worthy. What made you decide to go the "vlog" route when so many sailors are doing blogs? Was it a conscious decision or was it more organic?

(Brian) I was actually sitting with a guy in a bar in Mexico enjoying a few Pacifico’s.  He had inherited a fortune from his family and had been traveling around for about 7 years through South America and Mexico.  I thought his life sounded really interesting.  When he asked what we were up to he lit up and said “Wow man, that’s really cool!  You should be capturing everything on video!”  I thought if this guy with a fascinating life felt our experience was interesting then maybe others would as well.  So I bought a cheap $200.00 camcorder and starting messing around. This sort of stuck with me and over time we started taking videos of what we were up to.  As we got better gear and more into the project it sort of evolved over time.  We love writing the blogs and taking photos, but video brings such a different perspective. If a picture is worth a thousand words then a video must be worth a million right?  Plus it’s a whole lot of fun, and we’re really looking back to seeing these 30 years from now!

(Josje) From my perspective, it was definitely more organic. I remember when we started to make the videos, it was like a funny joke almost, like we just had a bunch of footage of us doing random, stupid stuff and thought if we threw it together, 30 years down the track we could all meet up, drink some wine and watch them and have a giggle about the the 'good old days’. So when we started getting a big following and lots of support and interest from the videos, it turned into something more which sort of got the ball rolling to where it is now. So its definitely been a wonderful and interesting journey, but still learning and growing, always! 

(Brady) Thanks so much for the compliment!  We really have an awesome time doing the videos.  It has been a totally organic thing.  We started making them because we thought it would be funny to look back and watch them 30 years from now.  We also thought it was a great idea to show our family and friends what we were actually up to.  Writing is a really great way to tell stories but video footage is even better.  Unless you’re a wicked writer like yourself! (*Editor's note: Thank you Brady!) While Josje and I went off to work last year Brian and Karin did an awesome job making the videos on a regular basis and helping to keep the momentum of everything going. We still do a bit of blogging but it has definitely taken a back seat to the videos.  Maybe we will write more on this next season!

(Karin) When I want to learn new things or get inspired I find it easier to watch rather than read. Therefor it came naturally to start filming, we wanted people to be a part of our lifestyle. It’s a great way to connect with your audience and the whole experience becomes more alive.

7) Your blog has been around a long time - you are actually one of the few I followed from the get-go (as you know since we have emailed back and forth almost yearly since 2009)...from my perspective, it seems like your blog has changed - you've obviously gained a ton of popularity with your awesome videos, but I feel like there has almost been a sort of "enlightenment" amongst your crew and the way you share your life - do you agree, or have I drank too much wine tonight?

(Brian) Is there such a thing as too much wine?!?!?  Certainly not if you can still type ;) There is no doubt that this experience has changed us in ways that we are still just beginning to realize.  I’ve often wondered if the places and people we visit get more fun, beautiful, and interesting as we sail West or are we changing as people and are now better able to absorb the experience more fully? Perhaps it’s a little bit of both.  In any case I think our perspective on things has changed, and this has come through in our sharing of the experience to others.  We are so lucky to be able to do this and sharing the experience with others only adds to it.

(Brady) First of all, there is no such thing as too much wine!  Is that a hedonist statement? Haha. Yep, we have definitely e-mailed back and forth over the years. One day we will anchor together and finally meet! (*Editor's note: YES! And by then our kids will be old enough so we can party a little harder - ha!)  Yea, we have changed the way we share our lives and it has just been a natural progression of the blog.  You can really SHOW people what goes on while sailing through videos.  I think videos really reach people that normally wouldn’t be searching and reading blogs.  We got an awesome email from a trucker that would get together with his trucker buddies at a rest stop on the highway each time a Delos video came out!  How crazy is that?!  It is really inspiring to be able to reach so many people.

(Josje) Firstly you definitely haven’t drunken too much wine tonight. There is no such thing as too much wine. Secondly, I agree with your statement. I wouldn’t go so far as to say ‘enlightened’ because I don’t consider myself a monk or buddha, but I’d definitely like to think I’m on that path of love and all things positive. Everyone brings something different and unique to the boat and I think over the years, as we have travelled further, pushed the horizons and expanded our minds, I feel we’ve definitely become a lot more content and understanding with the world, with each other and most importantly with ourselves. I think from sailing on Delos, we’ve all realized how to slow down and realize whats important in life. I’ve definitely seen a lot of mindfulness and meditation books being read on the boat! 

(*Editor's note: See!?!? I told you they were after my own heart. All of them mention that there is no such thing as too much wine. My love grows...)

8) This question is for each of you - if you could sum up how Delos has changed you life in five words or less, what would you say?

(Brian) It has changed my DNA!

(Josje) (This is so hard!! Ummm….)  Opening eyes, heart and mind

(Brady) Poor Materialistically, Rich Spiritually, Grateful

(Karin) Value of freedom!

9) You guys have mastered the art of cruise - break to work - cruise break to work, and this has obviously been a good formula for you. Do you ever see yourselves being called back to land? Is there ever the urge to "settle down" for any of you?

(Brian) Wow, great question!  I only intended to sail for 2 years and we’re moving onto 6 years now!  One of the toughest things about cruising is being so far away from family and friends.  So the thought of having some sort of a “home base” on land is attractive.  Plus, I’ve found that after leaving Delos for a few months to visit home it creates a new level of excitement looking forward to the next season of sailing.  It’s not in the immediate future, but a definite possibility to sail for a few months a year then live somewhere awesome the rest of the time.  Come home to visit with family and friends, then return to Delos when the time is right.  We’ll just have to see.  For now we’ve still got a few more years I reckon though!  Plus it would be really sweet to have someplace to set up all the awesome things we’ve collected in the islands so far!

(Josje) Haha definitely. There is something about the mountains and being surrounded by the forest that just resonates with me and I definitely miss this while sailing. When I am home and surrounded by it, its definitely hard to leave. But I wouldn't say an urge to ‘settle down’ just yet. I love to travel. And to travel by Delos is the cherry on the cake. Actually it should be the cake! 

(Brady) A few years ago I would have answered this question with “Nope, I will live the rest of my life as a pirate”.  As time has gone on I realize that just as much as I love sailing and traveling the world, I really love having a home “base” where friends and family are not on the other side of the world.    I will always sail but maybe it will evolve into a 3-4 months sail then the rest of the year in a bad ass house with a garden, dog, a place to keep all the carvings collected, and of course friends and family..

(Karin) I have always said I will sail until I run out to money or until it stops being fun. I have run out to money a few times already and the more I learn about sailing the more fun it becomes. So at this point I can definitely see myself doing this for many more years but I try not thinking too much about what the future holds. 

10) Will there ever be any mini Delos sailor thrown into the mix? (And, yes, I am talking about babies - sorry, but - come on, look who you are talking to here!!)

(Brian)  After meeting so many awesome kids cruising on boats it’s really opened my eyes to just how cool of childhood it must be!  So that’s a definite maybe, when the time is right of course! ;) 

(Brady) Haha hmmmm nothing on the Horizon for Josje and I at the moment….Maybe a little half Swedish half American sailing spawn from Brian and Karin?!

(Josje) Haha good question! I think this one is more suited for Brian and Karin, they’re kind of that age where there is subtle hints of thoughts and possibilities. As for Brady and I, not in the forseeable future right now. Haha I’m 22 this year, got a lot more life to live before I feel totally cool with bringing another little being into this world! 

Haha cheers for the questions brittany!! After answering all of these, I asked Brady to read his answers and literally laughed out loud when I realized we had written so many similar things!! So its not like we talked about them first, it just happened! Shows how connected we are haha. 

(Karin) I could definitely see myself having a family in the future. And I’ve met so many awesome cruising kids out here, what an awesome way to grow up! 

See, don't you just love them? I thought you would ;) Subscribe to their YouTube Channel >>>HERE<<<, Follow them on Facebook >>>HERE<<< and check out their blog >>>HERE<<<.

Thanks so much for taking the time to interview with me you guys, we are sending nothing but LOVE and positive thoughts your way and can't wait for our wakes to cross one day.

Packing for a Family of Five? Our List

I love a good list. There was a time in my life where this sort of rigid organization was not necessary to move from A to B, but having kids threw all that out the window. Maybe unicorns exist and there are families with multiple children who do not need preparation of this magnitude in order to travel, but for us - this is the only way to maintain order - and sanity - during what can be a pretty stressful and hectic time: the pre-departure panic.

We decided to make sure we were fully packed two days before we left (this is the "packing dry run" I made reference to in my earlier post). If you are traveling with kids...heck, if you are traveling at all... I highly recommend this system. It allows you to pack, assess, weigh (all bags under 50 lbs), revise, repack and make sure you are a) maximizing luggage space and b) covering all of your bases. If you look at the list, you'll see we are almost all packed up - minus the few items that we need on a daily or nightly basis.  This means that tonight we can make merry at our family farewell dinner and tomorrow night we can kick back with a bottle of wine and a movie if we want. We are pretty much "okay to go". Siiigh.

I posted this list to our Facebook Page last night and I had to laugh at some of the responses. You don't miss a beat and really know how to make me laugh out loud (have I mentioned lately how much I love you guys?):

Minus the fact that Scott and I lay awake each night giggling like school kids and exclaiming, "Holy crap. This is happening. Are we insane?!" followed by pressure-releasing squeals into our pillows, stress is at a minimum. We're excited. We're ready. What cracks us up even more is that our kids, minus Isla of course, are completely oblivious to the gigantic change that is about to take place. It's all business as usual for them and as long as they have mommy and daddy, they're gonna be cool. We're just going to pick them up and move them to Tortola where they will simply carry on as normal. There is something profound in this but I can't put my finger on it. Kids, I tell you. We can learn a lot from 'em.

Now that the preparation frenzy has simmered down and we find ourselves with some time to think thoughts outside of those related to all things packing, we're beginning to feel the first pangs of pre-departure sadness. We have been here for over a year, we have created a lifetime of memories and have been surrounded by incredible friends and family.We are very blessed and we are hyper aware of - and grateful for - this fact. I am, by nature, a nostalgic person which means I am terrible at goodbyes. I hate leaving. I am emotional and get choked up by sentimental songs and Hallmark commercials. My best friend utters the words, "I'm really, really gonna miss you" and I burst into tears like a baby. I wish I was more stoic, but that card was left out of my deck I'm afraid. 

Despite the choked-back tears and the millions of unknowns that lie ahead, we know we are making the right move. If we didn't go we would regret it, and - really - that is the only fuel we need in order to move forward. 

“Perhaps that is where our choice lies -- in determining how we will meet the inevitable end of things, and how we will greet each new beginning.” ― Elana K. Arnold, Burning

This. Is. Happening. 

Bring it.